Being early is every bit as rude as being late. Demanding my attention before the agreed upon time is not better than making me wait for you. Either way, you’re treating *my * time as though it’s yours. It’s not.
I’m one of those people who is perpetually early, stemming from a long-standing insecurity about being left behind or everything starting without me.
That being said, I usually find a coffeeshop or a starbucks or a store to wander around in so I don’t actually walk in the door 20 min early. This always sucks when I’m going across town for an interview and I have to waste a half-hour in my suit and heels, but it’s better than showing up late!
I find people who are early (half an hour to an hour) extremely irritating and rude. Like so many here have mentioned, I may be doing last minute cleaning, food prep, or just trying to chill before playing hostess. Frankly, they’re just in my way and I don’t want to feel torn between trying to be gracious to them and take care of last minute stuff.
I can understand not wanting to be late, I’m always worried about being late, but if I’m too early for something, I’ll drive around or park somewhere else until the proper time. Five or ten minutes early is fine, but that’s it.
I find people who are habitually extremely late just as irritating too. Look, I’ve just slaved over an expensive meal and I’ve timed it to be eaten within 45 minutes of your agreed upon arrival pal. Do not be miffed with me if I didn’t wait for you. One, maybe two times I can understand, but not on a consistent basis. It’s just plain rude.
Yeah, along with Freudian Slit, Merriam-Webster doesn’t have a problem with this usage either. I must admit I did grow up with the “aggravate” only = “make worse” drilled into my head, but then at some point I looked it up in a dictionary older than I was, and got vaguely aggravated.
That being said, the usage still grates on me a bit, so I don’t really use it, but I no longer correct people who do. 
Sorry for the hijack; I’m rarely early to things, so I don’t have much to speak about. However, If it’s friends or family who show up that early and I’m still prepping, I’ll either ask them to help or just continue about my prep routine. As in, “Hey, I’m just going to take a shower: feel free to watch TV.”
More formal guests doing that would annoy me.
IMHO, based on the limited information given, the OP is not dealing with someone who is habitually early but with someone who is being passive-aggressive in the visitation process (not uncommon). To test this, start showing up an hour before the time they give, then watch them start being late.
But to address the topic we’ve mainly been discussing in the thread, I have never met anyone habitually early. I can be pretty extreme on the early side myself. I’m bad at estimating travel time and err on the side of caution. But anything more than 15 minutes early leaves me mortified about my poor planning and I hide out until it’s closer to time.
Yes. X is undoubtedly playing a game with you.
I am a habitually early person, but I don’t impose that on others. I spend a lot of time sitting in the car knitting or reading to pass the time if I’m very early to something. If it’s a party or dinner, I try hard to show up AT the set time and if I am early, I’ll wait somewhere away from the house until it is time. For doctor’s appointments, I always arrive 15 minutes early on the off chance that they’re running early or had a cancellation; it just gives them a little leeway, I think.
I would never in a million years dream of showing up to a party 1/2 hour early (or early at all, really) and I agree that it is incredibly rude. When I host a party, I find it extraordinarily rude for people to arrive early because I’m usually still getting ready for them. By the same token, I hate the people who don’t go with the 5-10 minute late option and instead choose the hour or hour and a half late route. Um, dinner was at 7 pm, not 8:30 or 9. You missed it! Too bad.
I find it to be a bit rude. I’m not going to flip out and think the person is a complete arsehole but I do get annoyed when someone arrives for an appointment (work related) or a party (home related) I’m throwing.
When I schedule an appointment at work I expect the person to arrive on time. If it’s at 1pm, please come in at 1. If you’re late, you’re wasting my time. (unless there is a legitimate excuse or you’ve called to announce that you will be late) If you’re early I won’t be ready for you. If I wanted you there at 12:50 then I would’ve asked that you arrive by 12:50.
My partner and I host alot of parties. Now some are casual and we might ask that peopel come around say, 8-ish. So, fine if you come a bit early or if you’re late. (Still, don’t come at 7:30)
But it really pisses me off when we have a party and the invitations state a beginning time for the party and people come early. When the party is organized we may not be entirely prepared 1/2 hour beforehand.
Every year we have a huge Christmas bash and it always starts at 7 and every freakin year someone (usually a couple) will wander in at 6:30. Dammit. We’re still getting the hors d’oeuvres prepared. It’s rude because you stand there and want to chat and we’re not ready! Now, if it was the same couple we could easily remedy it by telling them to come 1/2 hour later than we tell everyone else but no, it’s a different bunch each time. Grrrrrrr.
I missed the edit window but I wanted to add that we have one friend that is always late. Even if dinner is at 6:30 and we tell her 6, she’ll be there at 7. We now eat without her. If she arrives after dishes are done and leftovers are in the fridge, then we just tell her, foods in the fridge, you know where the plates are.
She arrives on time a little more often now. 
What are you talking about?
From merriam-webster.com’s entry on ‘aggrivate:’
“aggravating has practically no use other than to express annoyance.”
Being a little bit early is fine, but an hour early is a ridiculous imposition in most circumstances. (I’m assuming we’re talking about an appointment that necessitates the attention of a person. If my car needs to be serviced and they say they can get to it at 9 and I drop the keys off at 8, nobody cares.)
My job entails visiting different businesses 12, 13 days a month. If my appointment is at 8:30, I will arrive at the reception area between 8:21 and 8:25. If that means I have to drive around the block a few times, that’s what I do.
Being late is just as rude and God knows we have had a lot of flamey threads on that. People who say they just can’t be on time are full of shit; as the old saying goes, if they were handing out $1000 on the corner at a certian time I bet you’d be there. Sometimes shit happens, of course; there’s an accident on the highway you get stuck behind, or whatever.
Off topic,
You may have skimmed that; that’s their description of its THIRD definition and is specific to the form “aggravating,” in the sense that “aggravate” has a lot of different uses but “aggravating” is almost never used in any other sense except to mean “annoying.” It’s just not a very useful word.
“Annoying” is a better choice for that particular sense. Although “Aggravate” is, technically, not wrong, “Aggravate” is really best reserved to describe the worsening of a condition (“The damp weather aggravates her arthritis”) while annoy is much better for describing what you do to a person’s mood (“Jim really annoys me when he picks his nose and flicks boogers around the office.”)
Look, the only definition given for ‘aggravating’ is:
arousing displeasure, impatience, or anger <an aggravating habit>
Thus, the OP used it correctly. You and I may agree that it is not incorrect, but I was responding to **Celyn[/Bseemed to be implying that the OP was using the word incorrectly. . Apparently we disagree about the OP’s choice of style, but that’s a matter of opinions…
We had a couple come over too early once, when we were running late and hoping everyone else was as well.
Their excuse was simple, they didn’t know how long the trip would be, arrived early, and saw no point circling the block.
I had to park them with a few greetings and fix a couple of drinks, but it made me later.
Fortunately they were apologetic about it by the time the other guests arrived fashionably late.
Early is a pain in the ass.
Luckily my friends and family are usually a half hour late if not more to anything, so it’s all good.
I don’t mind my family/friends arriving early. I’ll still be getting ready for the party or whatever; they can either help or sit and watch TV. (Or play with my daughter, which is a help itself.)
Persistent lateness, though, grates seriously on my nerves, particularly if I’m cooking. I hate timing everything to perfection and then having the food grow cold/overcooked/soggy while we wait.
RR
Early can be much worse than late. Late (especially if it is habitual) is incredibly rude. Early is passive aggressive bullshit. My inlaws do this. They live approximately 1 mile away–through residential streets. It does not take more than 5 minutes, on a heavy traffic day, to get here. They leave 30 minutes prior to whatever time they’re supposed to be here. It doesn’t matter what time I say–they show up early.
I hate that.
For a party, unless you are such good friends that you have already seen the host/hostess in various forms of undress/disarray, you better not show up early. Just my 2 cents.
And this nonsense about the use of aggravate is just annoying and aggravating–cut it out!
I agree. You’re being f’d with, Bru. If you can spare the time, definitely take Harriet’s suggestion and show up an hour early.
I am always way early for everything - I’m paranoid about being late, and I despise people being late to relieve me at work. That said, if I’m way early for a personal appointment, I linger elsewhere, or in my car, and only show up at the door 5-10 minutes early. For a movie, I often sit in an empty theater for a half hour before the show, just reading the paper or a book.
Joe
I am usually early wherever I go, because being late is simply stupid, but I always carry a book with me and never need to intrude. I just stop somewhere nearby for a coffee.
A couple of years ago a guy I worked with invited me to his birthday party. He told me to turn up at 11AM. When I got there it was just him, his wife and me and no-one else was expected for hours. So i just hung out in the kitchen with his wife preparing all the salads, making dipping sauces and marinating the meat, chicken and fish.
In the end, my early arrival gained me some brownie points.