If you are outside of the amazon river

… And you pee into the water, (assuming you’re a bloke) can the deadly candiru swim into your urethra via the stream of your urine?

It’s my understanding that it’s only a danger if you’re immersed in the river. Going up a free-falling stream of urine wouldn’t be “swimming”, it’d be “jumping” or “flying”.

And why the “assuming you’re a bloke”? Sheilas pee, too.

Odds are very slim. Chronos is right. You have to be immersed to have one of those nasties get you. Even then, you’d probably have to be in a swarm of them or in a place where they are known to be. It’s not like they inhabit every square inch of the amazon.

p.s don’t google image search anything related to this…because you’ll find they can get into your eyes, ears, mouth, open wound, rectum and of course - your nether regions.

The Master speaks. He agrees that it’s unlikely that the candiru could swim up a stream of urine.

You missed the update, which describes a case in which a candirú was removed from the penis of a man who had been standing thigh-deep in the river and decided to urinate. There’s a nice statement that the fish “forced its way inside with alarming speed.” If I were in that situation, “alarmed” would be an understatement.

I’m guessing that (like me) the OP saw “1,000 Ways To Die” last night.

There is a show on Animal Planet called River Monsters where a guy goes around investigating different fish. He interviewed a guy who had one of these fish in his wang and even took him back to the hospital to look at it, preserved in a jar. Probably the same guy as mentioned above.