All right. Bricker, have you ever had sex outside of marriage, before 2003?
Sex with the lights on, before 2003? In any position besides missionary?
Oral or anal sex, outside or inside marriage, before 2003?
Driven a car with a radar detector? Driven without shoes?
Passed a car and not honked? Tickled a woman?
Patted a woman on the bum?
Did you ever own a pool? If so, did you ever forget to close the gate after using it?
Flip a coin to see who pays for coffee?
Ridden on the handlebars of a bike?
Used profanity on the boardwalk or Atlantic Avenue in Virginia Beach?
Driven past the same location within 30 minutes?
Oh, that’s a good one. “Anti-Cruising” laws. It’s illegal in some to several locations to drive around a block more than once, say, if you were looking for a parking spot. This is often not enforced equally, too.
These appear to be laws of the state of Virginia, and several of its cities. Unfortunately, the location I picked them from, www.dumblaws.com , doesn’t have citations for all of them. But before 2003, the sexual ones were quite probably in effect. I’m sorry for the intrusion into your personal life, but that does seem to be an area where the government likes to intervene, and is broadly reported. The question is, really, considering the ‘silly season’ state of state legislatures, are you entirely sure that some law has not been passed considering the location of your television in relation to your couch (I recall proposals), or how your heavier furniture should have tiedown straps or be otherwise secured to the floor (an ongoing effort in New York State after three children in two years were killed by climbing on furniture, which promptly overbalanced). Are you entirely sure that no laws were passed to counter the communist or hippie menace that may have odd effects on you today, should they be arbitrarially enforced? What about the ‘for the children’ movement?
Are you sure you have never annoyed a policeman? Ever?
Wouldn’t it be fun if a policeman who was annoyed with you could watch your daily commute and cite you every time you sloppily obeyed a traffic law?
Have you never performed a rolling stop, changed lanes without signalling, even if it was an emergency, or exceeded the speed limit? Stopped over the white line?
All it takes is one policeman annoyed with you, and it gets interesting.
I’ve had it happen to me… I made a harsh turn, he launched across two lanes of traffic to catch someone he thought was a college kid, discovered I was stopped on top of the hill, veered to avoid me, his brakes went out, and shredded someone’s lawn. High-speed chase that was about a block and a half long that wound up with a wrecked cop car and a wrecked lawn. (I got cited for ‘unsafe turn, unsafe stop’. Both were reduced to a point and a small fine, could have fought it, but wasn’t worth it.)
He watched me for months. Learned when I left for work, trailed me three out of five days. Never cited me again, but it was a bit unnerving.
Are you that good? Are you that sure? Should you have to be? Should you have to be unsafe from government predation in your own home?