I’d help save pot bellied pigs. And build a home for Starving and Forsaken Cats.
Great minds think alike! I’ve already had this idea, too. How great would that be?
I’d put it in my castle, next to the gameroom.
I’d buy vast swathes of natural elephant habitat and pay the people living there handsomely to relocate.
I would produce a Wild Cards movie.
I would get the following shows and or GOOD spinoffs thereof back into production: Quantum Leap, Alien Nation, Highlander, MacGyver (for GonzoGal), Babylon 5. And put them all on a television channel over which I’d have complete programming control.
I’d fund research on power armor. In fact, I’d open my own lab and hire all the best engineers and computer people.
I’d have a big room with huge, powerful fans blowing upward to simulate zero-G, and have Battle School like in Ender’s Game.
I’d live in a replica of a medieval castle, but with all the modern amenities. The murder holes and autocannons set in the arrow slits would fire paintballs and all the smelliest chemicals known to science at intruders or people I didn’t like.
I’d compete with bump to see who had the cooler server farm, with the best games or virtual reality worlds or world domination schemes or whatever.
I think I would buy the National Gallery, and have it turned into my house. I really like the Gallery. It would need more moving sidewalks, and maybe some zipcords for easy transportation. I’d add a lot more velvet upholstery than they’ve got now.
I would pay for the big goth/EBM concert that’s held in Leipzig to relocate to Toronto, or maybe Ottawa. And bring most of my favourite bands over regularly to hear them perform. Not privately, though- loud industrial needs a screaming crowd.
I would give the Toronto Transit system a couple of billion dollars, and hope they could fix most of the problems and drop the fares. Hmm. I would pay them to drop the transit fee to $.50. That would be good.
I’d buy replicas of most of the LOTR female outfits. That’s what I’d wear. Especially Arwen’s mourning dress.
Hire ninjas to randomly attack Mr. Lissar in a Kato/Inspector Clouseau kind of way.
I would build a very large free-walking animatronic dinosaur - prolly a Triceratops - so I could go gallivanting about town in style, riding on the back, reins in my hands (with a hidden control panel that only I could see), so it looks like I have the animal under my control. Eyes blink, mouth drools, occasional sneezing and belching, controlled head tossing, so it looks like a real animal.
Although, if I could figure out the center of gravity, a T-Rex would be cooler to ride down the street. Parking it shouldn’t be a problem (in both cases, get one of those annoying car alarms - walk away from the critter in the parking lot, point the key chain at it, and chirp, chirp, the alarm is set.
In either case, the critter would have a really, really loud roar, just to get people out of the way (damned pedestrians) or when the kids in the car next to me give me the ‘air-horn arm gesture’, like they do to the tractor trailers.
Oh, and a red flag tied to the tail, like when someone has an over-sized load. Wouldn’t want to accidentally take out someone’s windshield.
I would found the American Academy of Archaic Hoplology. It would, of course, host the finest arms and armor museum in the Western hemisphere and the most extensive collection of rare swordsmanship manuscripts from around the world. Likewise, due to generous donations to membes of the graft-ridden (did I say that) Indiana State General Assembly, it would be accepted as an extension of the IUPUI campus as part of the Indiana University System, thus giving automatic accreditation for the undergraduate and graduate degrees it would offer. Heck, I could even name who I would try to head-hunt for the “practical hoplology” curriculum. Of course, generous donations to the extant IUPUI departments of History and Anthropology and the Herron School of Fine Arts would ensure that I could get them to recognize the new faculty seats I would have in the school on military/hoplological history, society and hoplology, and archaic weapon and armor construction would get sufficient respect. In addition, I would simply have to found a new academic journal of practical and theoretical hoplology. Then I would buy the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and bring back the Snakepit!
I’d purchase Mad River Glen ski area, build a massive transparent temperature controlled dome over it, build a nice little ski chalet at the summit of the mountain, i’d keep the temperature at a nice, snow-freindly 30 degrees Farenheit, the dome would have snowmaking pipes running thru the superstructure, they would be turned on to “Blizzard of '76” level every night, that way i could ski year round in fresh, fluffy powder
plus, the money i’d make from keeping it open to the skiing public wouldn’t hurt either
the chalet would have a full blown personal theatre with a massive screen, a full blown darkroom for my photography, a fully loaded G5 in every room, all linked together via AirPort, in fact, the whole ski area would serve up an 802.11g AirPort bubble for the entire town of Waitsfield
my gararge would have all my favorite vehicles, Dodge Viper, Dodge Ram, Dodge Tomahawk, Porsche 911, Ferrari F-40, McLaren F1, Mini Cooper S, Harley Fat Boy, Yamaha V-Max, some nice snowmobiles, a Bell Jet Ranger helicopter…
(you get the idea)
my family and freinds would be set for life, i’d donate to worthy causes (The Society For The Destruction Of Micro$oft, my pet project 
), i’d purchase m$, route the money over to Apple, completely eliminate windoze, and have gate$ thrown in jail, maximum security wing with the most hardened lifers, no chance of parole
Farscape, Futurama, Family Guy, MST3K, Invader Zim, they’d all be revived and put on a network i created, “CultTV” where they’d be treated with the respect they deserve
i’d fund research into space travel, FTL technologies, human cloning (in order to make “backups” of myself, artificially extending my lifespan to infinity
i’d design a massive Beowulf cluster of G5’s, programmed to find the Answer (and the question) to Life, the Universe, and Everything, even though we already know it’s 42 (even though it’s not strictly accurate, what with the Golgafrinchams buggering up history…)
i’d research time travel, go back and prevent Douglas Adams from dying (give him access to my cloning tech) and stop 9/11 from occuring
i figure going back in time with a stack of newspapers, and the CNN and Time/Life DVD’s of the footage and aftermath would be a good place to start…
I’d buy a Bentley. Then a Humvee (A real one, none of this wimpy H2 stuff). Then I’d run the Bentley over with the Humvee.
Two words. MONEY FIGHT!!! And naked chicks, lots of 'em.
I would buy the Hubble Space Teliscope and commision my own shuttle to service it.
I’d make sure that whenever Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler made a new movie, they’d have to have a body part removed.
Or, I’d buy this.
Jeeze, I gotta put up with those guys’ crap daily and come here to get away from it. Right now I’m avoiding setting up the three TVs in the exercise room (Mrs Mogul loves TV while she works out) of the little 5800 sq ft getaway down the road from the Big House.
I’m so sick of decadence that I probably would give most of it away. Really.
I’dbuy the entire PALACE of Versailles, and turn it into a club-Med type resort. I’d walk around dressed as King Louis XIV (The Sun King), and hire actors.actresses to recreae the court. Man, can you imagine those banquets?
I’d also turn the fountanisn on-all at once!
I’d buy a monkey.
And a Sgt. Pepper costume.
And Michael Jackson’s skeleton.
I’d build a huge bank vault and then use it to swim in all of my gold coins. Duh.
And swim around it it like a porpoise? And toss it up and let it hit you in the head?
And don’t forget the depth gauge!