It depends whether they were doing it because they were strong in their faith or because they were weird (and fo course some would and will say there is little difference between the two positions)
I think it comes down to missing them. For example, at the start of last year, my mum, dad and little sister moved to another country on the opposite side of the world. For a while after they left, I was sad. I cried at times for no reason. Why? Because I missed them. I couldn’t see my mum when I wanted to see her, there was a hole where she should have been. Same for my dad and my sister. The knowlege that I was minimum 25 hours of travel away was hard. Now, it’s the same with death. You can’t see them, and there is a hole where they used to be. You grieve for that loss. It doesn’t matter whether you will see them again or not, they’re not there now, and not easily accessible.
It’s fascinating to me that Robin, Astorian and I all came up with quite similar parallels involving separation other than death to explain the sense of loss vis-a-vis the “(s)he’s in A Better Place” that constitutes grief.
From A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, written about the death of his beloved wife.
It is hard to have patience with people who say “there is no death,” or “Death doesn’t matter”. There is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible… Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me of the duy of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me of the consolation of religion or I shall suspect you don’t understand.
Yes, perhaps the mourning is partly selfish- our way of expressing the pain of separation- but I think it only becomes wrong, from a Christian viewpoint, when the cry is not only, “I miss you.” but also, “come back!”, because that is questioning the will of God.
Sorry, I’ve been reading too much Lewis, and I’m getting pompous. Oh, well.
Oh, yeah. I highly suggest reading A Grief Observed for the Christian understanding of death and mourning.
Lissla, you beat me to it! I’ve been wanting to post that quote ever since this thread started, but I was having trouble finding it.
The Lord loves me, yet I suffer. I have faith in that love, although I cannot understand Him. But still, I suffer. I feel joy, I am rewarded by the world, I have great wealth, yet still I suffer.
Around me I see a world filled with suffering, and behind me a history of suffering longer than the memory of the written word. But this world is not all that God has promised me. Yes, it seems to me most cruel when I see my dreams in ashes. Yes I miss the comfort of a loved one now dead.
My child suffers, and my heart is broken. My wealth can not relieve her suffering. I am powerless to put an end to her suffering, and to her, I am the one who gives all things that come. She smiles at me. She loves me, though she suffers. Can this be what God wants?
I give to the Lord all my hope, for in the world I see no hope, and only death for certain. But His love is not of this world alone. This is a stopping place, a brief moment in eternity. If I could, would not cast aside all of my own suffering. In the midst of my pain, there were precious moments, filled with love. Those moments will go on, when the joy of the Resurrection take us beyond, in Christ’s love.
What did God have in mind, that would require that he bring forth the teeming billions, through sorrow, and into joy to stand beside Him for all eternity? I don’t know, but it must be glorious indeed, if He needed all of us to do it with Him.
Sorrow is not the end of faith.
Tris
Also read Ezekiel 24 15:18.
- And the word of the Lord came to me:“Son of man, with one blow I am about to take the delight of your eyes away from you. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. Groan quietly, do not mourn for the dead… So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I was commanded.”*
Actually, that verse’s more about obedience, but I love it, so I thought I’d throw it in there.
In it, God seems to assume that mourning death is an acceptable human reaction, and the assumption of the verse is that God is asking Ezekiel to do something that is contrary to human nature, and requires great self-control and obedience.
Probably too about excessive grief-like that of Queen Victoria, after the death of her husband?
I saw the book you reccomended, Lissla at Borders. I liked the Narnia books, so I’ll have to give it a whirl. What he seems to be saying makes a lot of sense.