I would have taken a year off between high school and college. I simply was not ready to leave home, and I fell into a two-year depression that kept me from making friends and participating in my classes. I really lost out on a lot of potentially fun, educational, and enlightening experiences because of my mental problems. By the time I started getting better during my third year, my social skills had regressed and I was shyer than I have ever been – I’m still (at age 25) having a hard time recovering from that.
I also kick myself for realizing a few weeks from graduation that I had attended Bryn Mawr College, bastion of feminism that it is, without having taken a single Feminist and Gender Study course. What a maroon.
I would have realilzed that my father was NOT as full of shit as I thought he was, and I would have listened to the advice and assistance he was offering.
My life would be better now, I think.
I also would have: Studied more in school
Avoided “Person X”
Stayed out of trouble with the law
Driven safer
Dated more
Drank less
Traveled more
Stayed at school longer
God damn, now I’m too depressed to finish this post…
I would have avoided being such a loser.
Knowing what I know now, I would have dated and/or had sex with scores of lovely young women rather than being too chicken-shit to take a risk. Looking back, it’s ridiculous how many opportunities I ignored/squandered because I didn’t want to stray outside my social comfort zone. On a related note, I wouldn’t have dated an awful mean girl all through college.
However, I’m really happy with where I’ve ended up, so I wouldn’t change anything major. Just would have had more fun along the way.
Age 9 (circa September 1980)- Wouldn’t have played in that group of trees on the playground on the first day of school in the fourth grade where some yellowjackets had built a nest over the summer.
Age 20- Would have never gotten hooked up with the girl who nearly ruined my life and made me go broke.
Around the same time frame: Would have persued my original college ambitions in Computer Science. I’d have a better-paying job than I do now.
Age 23- Wouldn’t have gone in on a get-rich-quick scham (scheme-> scam) with a friend.
Ages 18-24- Wouldn’t have wasted the first six years of my working life at a job I didn’t like and would have been more aggressive with seeking greener pastures.
I would have:
*Cared a lot less about what was “in” and who was popular, in high school.
*based fewer decisions on relationships. I gave myself credit for leaving a boyfriend behind to go to college, but there were many other things I did that were too wrapped up in the Boy of the Minute.
*Shed my cynicism earlier. It wasn’t until my senior year that I realized I was missing out on a lot when I approached everything/everyone with a “this will probably suck” attitude.
*gone to more lectures and special events in college. Geez, all those free oportunities to get smarter, squandered by me.
*Taken more interest in international students.
*Made myself find/developed an aptitude for a sport or fitness activity I liked.
*Gone abroad my junior year.
*Bought better shoes.
- Spent much much less–no credit card debt, and regular saving contributions. I’d be loaded now.
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Everything Cranky said, except for the boy stuff.
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Drank more tequila before I kicked that cop in the nuts in '84 with the hope I might have missed.
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Listened to a few fewer stock tips from friends.
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Put some kind of a leash on recreational drug and alcohol usage during college.
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Dated some girls a little longer and one or two never at all.
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Flossed.
Nothing, really, or everything. It’s all karma anyway, or not. Everything that happens has a purpose, or none. Life is a series of connected and unconnected events that would or would not have happened if they were or weren’t preceded or followed by other events or non-events. I am what I am and that’s all that I am, or perhaps I’m something else. It’s all god’s master plan and completely random.
I’m happymiserableangryjoyousfulfilleddissatisfied. I’m a bipedal hominid, I’m someone’s fantasy creature; a great ape gone bad, nature’s crowning creation; a dichotomy; an abstract; a wiseass and a wiseman.
I’m 56, going on 19.
I would have taken better care of my teeth.
I would have never start smoking.
I would have been a better student and gone to college.
I would not have cared what people thought of me in school.
I have saved the umpteen thousand dollars I spent on weed.
I would have started low carbing at 14.
As with many here, mine is romantic-oriented.
Basically, I would have just told her how I feel about a year ago. Before she got the serious boyfriend who is a good friend to me, but treats her like crap a lot.
Killed my parents and blamed it on Judas Priest…
I would have stood up more to my father.
I would be unconcerned with how people thought of me, and stopped trying to conform.
I would concentrate very hard in high school, and take any college classes offered to students.
I would have worked toward earning a scholarship of some sort.
I would have gotten in the habit of being much more physically active.
On April 26, 2003 I would have read the directions to get to the center for my work ID card much more carefully, avoiding taking that wrong turn which caused me to get in a car accident, making my insurance skyrocket and causing me to owe my mom $5000. Instead I would have driven my old car until it died, and used the nest egg I was building up for the down payment on a brand new car.
Did I screw up and wander into a frat-boy angst message board? Jeez, suck it up, willya?
As a child I cursed myself in order to save someone’s life. A long story and I’ll save you the eye-strain. The curse was meaningless at the time, but somehow it managed to come true. As much as I wish to end my pain and take back those words I cannot. I will take back everything else that has been my life.
I wish that I’d gone away to college, instead of commuting to college. I wish that I’d STAYED in college, instead of getting married a few months before I was 20 (however, this was tied in to the first problem, I simply couldn’t stay at home any longer and stay sane). I wish that I hadn’t gotten pregnant three times in two years, screwing up my hormones in the process. I REALLY regret becoming a mother, I am not emotionally suited for it (although I did manage to raise a reasonably competent human being, if I do say so myself). I have passed up many opportunities because I was a parent.
A lot of my problems stem from the fact that I have depression, and have had it since I was a child. However, back in those days, there weren’t any drugs available that would work on me. Therapy alone wouldn’t have done it for me, I need certain drugs.
I regret not dating more, and not dating a wider range of guys. I dated three guys, total, before I got married. Part of this was because my father is first generation Italian, and would not allow me to date until I was 17 and a half years old. I REALLY regret not having more dating experiences.
I regret not taking better care of my health, to the extent that it was possible. I never really smoked, and I’ve never drunk to excess. I’ve only used pot once (and I might be one of the few people who believed Clinton when he said that he didn’t inhale, because I didn’t either). However, I have eaten pretty much whatever I wanted, and not exercised nearly enough. I also haven’t taken proper care of my teeth. This was partly because we just didn’t have any extra money for a long time.
I’d better stop now before suicide looks attractive again.
Oh MAN, I would have made sure that I had GONE TO COLLEGE right after high school and not waited til I was 29!! I would NOT have decided that I “needed” to go down the “white picket fence” path and gotten married right after high school.
I would have been more demanding of people in my life and less willing to give everyone else my all. I would have treated myself much better WAY earlier in life.
Oh yeah, and did I mention? I would have GONE TO COLLEGE!!!
You start your quest by deciding on the goal of your quest, for what is a quest without a purpose?
Then you share your goal, your vision, with people who might join in the quest. Every good questor needs a fellowship.
You’ve done this. Good job, culov – you have already started your quest!
When come back, bring Grail.
What I’d do differently:
- Lie less
- Develop healthy habits early (diet & exercise)
- Reported my dad to the cops or at least told my mom what he did to me.
I would have asked Anna-Marie H. out on an actual “date” back in ‘84 when I was visiting her at her parents’ house. I never found out until much later that we would have been quite compatible, even religiously. Little did I realise that I would never again meet someone with whom I had as much chance and compatibility.
Other than that…? I’m not sure. So much of my life is the struggle to learn and become a better person, and there are many things I know now that I would not have comprehended then, but the asking out thing? At the time, I knew what was going on. I was poised on a knife-edge of fear, doubt, desire, and indecision, and I fell off in the wrong direction. I let fear rule my decision, as I have done far too often.
Go down the other leg of Trousers of Time when I was 17.