The disease thing makes it too easy. I propose a slightly different question: if you could snap your fingers and transform all members of one species into wiener dogs, would you? If so, which species?
Daniel
I’m going to stick with cockroaches, just to be able to see run down buildings explode with wiener dogs when I snap my fingers.
Malaria would be good for this too, cuz I’d get to see mosquitos flying in mid air explode sending wiener dogs flying everywhere.
This is the fate to which you would doom millions of malaria sufferers? :eek:
Daniel
It’s the hospitals I would feel sorry for. They’d all have to become pet stores.
In that case, I’d choose the pit bull (I know it isn’t a species unto itself), just to make all the rappers, NBA players and trailer park dog fight organizers look stupid.
Are politicians technically a seperate species? If we took the time to classify them as such I would weiner dog politicians.
If we’re talking diseases, I’d like to put smallpox up for eradication.
Yes, I know it’s been done once. But there are still samples in storage, plus rumors of ‘weaponized’ versions of it in various national labs. If I could convert all examples of the virus into weiner dogs I’d do it.
Not least of the reasons, of course, would be to watch and see where there were huge explosions of weiner dogs - to mark those national labs I’d mentioned above.
What, no crows or pigeons or seagulls yet. Flying rodents.
But then you end up with weaponized weiner dogs on the loose. I think I saw a horror movie about that once.
Daniel
Yes, I’m sure it would be a public problem, but…
I have this image of the researchers* working on their various evil gene splicing techniques in their lab. Then, there’s a sudden rumble, and the doors to the storage freezer burst open, and thousands, nay millions, of weaponized weinerdogs come running out and fire lasers from their eyes at all those researchers…
The poetic justice factor just seems too appealing for me to give it up.
*Yes, I know this is a highly exaggerated and unjust view of the majority of people working on bioweapon research.
What really upset me about that post was that you disguised the hyperbole about the scientists with a scientifically accurate description of weaponized weiner dogs.
Oh, and band name.
Daniel
I was going to say the anopheles mosquito, having had malaria *twice *and almost dying the first time. We can do without *one *species, I’m sure.
Crows are very intelligent birds and I don’t think they deserve to be in with those flying rats.
Yep. They are. Except they get into my garbage every Tuesday morning! I’m buying new garbage cans this weekend. The lids blew away on my last ones. (Damned crows!)
Pandas. Pandas, pandas, pandas.
Giant bloody Pandas.
Bastards.
I gotcher weaponized weiner right here, dawg.
Yay! I was wondering where Fluffy had gotten off to! Be careful, though–just because he’s tiny doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a hair-trigger.
Daniel
'skeeters.
I don’t much care what place they occupy in the grand cycle that is nature, they kill people and birds (which I don’t much care for anyway, but I don’t want bugs infecting them) with their diseases and such.
And they make me itch. For this alone they must die.
Sorry humans, good bye.
Hopefully in the afterlife I’d get to see what happens to the Earth after the humans leave.