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I would not have gotten married.
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I would have finished college.
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I would have listened to that little voice inside my head a long time ago when it told me to make music for a living, because that’s what I enjoy the most, and do the best. Now, at 38 I am doing just that, but if I’d made the decision 10 or 20 years ago, who knows how successful I would be right now?
Everyone is saying things they could have done differently. I hope these are not against the rules.
I wish that i had not been tortured in my elementary school. A torture that no adult in my life noticed, but was continued for 3 years culminating in rape. I wish some adult had listened and believed me about how bad it was and did something rather than tell me either to ignore it and it will go away or don’t let them do that to you, there must be something you can do. Either way i wish i had not been raped.
I wish my mother had not allowed my brother to bully and beat me. I wish she had actually done something to make him behave an not played favorites while just pretending to be fair. I wished that when he left bruises and blacked my eyes that someone had valued me enough to see that he never did that again. I wish she would not nag me to contact my brother and be nice to him. He broke my nose 10 years ago and that is the last time i willingly talked to him. She is still mad at me because i am not nice to him.
I wish that my mother had not thrown out my portfolio and had not convinced me that art or design school was for people who wanted to be jobless losers. THis is the only one i had some control over. I tried my hardest on the other two to change them as they happened.
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Wouldn’t have moved away from my best bud, Jason, without getting his new address. We were just kids and both of our families were moving at the same time. He ended up somewhere across town and I ended up in Germany. Everything was so hectic I didn’t get his address and I never heard from him again.
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I would redo my freshman year at college and knuckle down and take it seriously. I slacked off and almost got myself kicked out. Spent the next four years trying to repair the damage to my GPA. I still wince when anyone asks for my transcript knowing that first year will be there for all to see.
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I don’t have a number three yet. I’m sure something will happen in the next few years…
My three:
(1) would have NOT married my ex
(2) would have tried to court the girl I knew in 5th grade (she was the daughter of a surgeon-her old man was LOADED!)
(3) would have taken a year off from college-I will never be able to do some of the things I could have!
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I would never, ever, ever, ever have slept with a guy who was 20 years older than me when I was 18. Come on, let’s hear a collective, “Ewwwwww…!”
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I wouldn’t have permed my hair when I was in 4th grade. It’s never been the same since. And they called me Medusa.
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I would have fought harder for the things that I wanted. Giving up gracefully is one of the only true regrets I have.
But hey, I still like the giant fairy (the winged creature) I’ve got tattood on my ass. Ask me again in 10 years, though…
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I wish I didn’t quit modeling. I made a lot of money and had a fantastic time.
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I wish I would have waited a little longer to get married. This caused reason #1.
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I wish I wouldn’t have lied so much when I was younger, because now, I sometimes have a hard time believing myself.
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I wish I’d worked a little harder my self-esteem issues, had been braver around men.
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I would talk to my father more before he died last year.
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I wish I could’ve decided what I wanted to be when I grew up, rather than drifting into my current sucky job.
StG
- I would have gotten back my 100 page story that I wrote in 8th grade that was stolen by my 9th grade English teacher. There was a lot of sexual tension in it between the main character (a reluctant werewolf) and his bestfriend/secret nemesis (an incubus). I thought it was good back then and the few people who had read it thought it was good. I would like to know if I would still think so today.
I don’t think I have a two or three. For the most part I don’t have regrets other than the one above. Most everything else has been a learning experience and I don’t think I would want to change it. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have talked to my sister the day before she died but I still view that as a learning experience. Plus when I tell people that we sang “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” at her funeral I can get the best looks of shock. heheheheh
HUGS!
Sqrl
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Convinced my mother to leave my father any one of the numerous times she tried and then got cold feet. It took her 19 years, but too much shit happened by then to make it worth it.
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Filled out my damn financial aid paperwork at U. Iowa and gotten enough money to stay there. Might have made the relationship I was in a lot easier, too.
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Gone with my Russian buddy and spent a week or so with his family at home in the Urals instead of fretting about classes in St. Petersburg. (Hey, nobody said they had to be completely utterly serious!)
- Tried harder in highschool
- taken more science in high school
- kept in touch with freinds from elementary school
- Never learned what Felching is.
- Never learned what Squicking is.
- Never found out that there is such a thing as sex with the opening for a colostomy bag. BARF
Only 3??
well, in no particular order…
I wish I had gone to see my dad when he died. Apparently he had melanoma for several years and never told me. My parents were divorced and when I was 16 I came back from a 2 week fishing trip. After 2 weeks in the wilderness (really, bears and everything) and a long drive from International Falls to Chicago I was drop dead tired. When I walked in the house, my mom told me that he was sick and I maybe I should go see him. She had just recently found out (while I was gone)and didn’t really have too much info. He was at his home, with doctors, nurses and a morphine drip. It was only a 10 minute drive to his house but I decided not to go, I would go in the morning. He died that night. (what a dick! me…not him) (all those little freckles on your back, go make sure they are just freckles. Please)
I wish that while I was in high school I never would have decked my theology teacher and got thrown out. I was at a great prep school, good grades, varsity sports, bright future…and I fucked it all up in about 3 seconds. BTW, he started it, I just finished it. Bad move. It actually gets worse…he was a Benedictine monk, a priest. But he started it, I swear. He even stuck up for me at my expulsion hearing. Whoops.
I wish that I had been a bit wiser in my late teens and early 20’s. I had the world handed to me and I blew it again. It is not often that you get a second chance to right the wrongs that you have committed. I got one and I screwed up. I was fortunate enough that my father was a wealthy man. He left me no money when he died because he wanted me to earn everything for myself. But he did leave a trust for me that could only be used for educational expenses. For the rest of my life. I could have gone to school anywhere on the planet for the rest of my life and never paid a cent for anything. Tuition, books, food, living expenses, rent, play money…everything was covered as long as I was in school and getting good grades. Well, when I was in college, my nickname was Spicoli (you figure it out.) As I didn’t want to waste my time being wasted and in school, I left school with the intention of going back in a year or two. During that time, the lawyers in charge of the trust decided they no longer wanted to maintain it if I wasn’t going to use it immediately and they made me an offer. I was 19 or 20 and someone offered me a check for $25,000. Like a myopic dumbass, I took it. That is the ONLY thing in my life that I regret. If I could undo that, I would.
These are hard, and I can easily come up with more than three. In chronological order:
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Not dyed my hair black when I was fourteen. My mom warned me it might not grow back in the same. I didn’t get it. I was a strawberry blonde, now I am a dishwater blonde/light brunette. sigh
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Gone out for the swim team in my freshman year. Barring that, any year in high school.
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Gotten a full night’s sleep the night before I took my PSATs. One percentage point away from National Merit Scholar. kicks self repeatedly
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Stayed home instead of going to live with one of my best friends during the second semester of my junior year. This had far-reaching implications I never could have imagined at the time.
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Bought a car with the $1000 I recieved for my high school graduation instead of taking the attitude that it wasn’t enough to do a darn thing with and blowing it on I don’t know what.
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Barring success with the full-night’s-sleep-before-the-PSAT issue, I should have joined the military right out of high school. Preferably the Air Force, if not, the Navy. I have lacked self-discipline all my life. Also, I think I would have been much better suited to it than I realized back then. At least I would have been earning money (for college!) and learning a skill instead of wasting my time for over 4 years . . .
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When I was contemplating joining the Navy 3 years ago, I should have done it as soon as I got down within their weight requirement, but instead I procrastinated, and after awhile I changed my mind . . . again. And eventually I gained the weight back, too.
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Taken better care of my great-grandmother while she was alive, and visited her more often. I wish there was something more I could have done for her while I had the chance.
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Stayed in college this last time instead of dropping out again when my great-grandmother died.
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Pulled over to the side of the road when I felt sleepy while driving home last month, instead of getting so drowsy that I failed to notice I was driving off the road, thereby wrecking my roommate’s car.
I could go on and on and on, but these are the big ones. I lie awake at night wishing I could go back and do just one of these things differently. It would have made such a difference in my life . . . and I would have avoided a lot of needless grief and/or guilt. Making this list almost made me cry here at work.
I try to live my life regret-free. Everything that’s happened to me in my life has taught me something important, especially the crappy things. I wouldn’t want to relive them, but I wouldn’t be who I am today unless they happened.
No regrets.
Spolvy, you sound like someone who could have gone to the high school I went to. Was yours in RI?
I am of the opinion that changing anything in one’s past can fuck up one’s future more so than it is. That said, :
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I would not have done nearly so much bragging the first month of high school. It fucked me three ways until sunday for the rest of my high school time.
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I would have gone to class more often this past term, instead of sitting in my room.
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I would have gone to mass a few months back and seen a friend of mine before she left for Cali the next day.
I know these seem recent, but I can’t remember most of the shit before high school. Can’t remember much from high school, either.
So nobody would have married their ex, huh? Imagine that.
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There are a few women I would not have slept with. Not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because some people simply cannot separate sex and love. I didn’t used to be one of them.
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I would have tried a bit harder in college to learn the more technical aspect of my field. Probably could have a career by now.
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I would not have read and posted to this depressing thread.
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I would not have hooked up with a friend of mine (yes, Blinder). That whole thing led me into a huge downward spiral and has been coming back to kick me in the ass ever since.
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Basically, because of reason 1 I would not mind redoing this whole year.
Before this year I don’t really regret anything.
I don’t believe in second guessing myself. Wondering if I should have gone right instead of turning left. My past makes me who I am today. Not perfect but not too bad either. I could make a Freudian psychologists career if I really started letting loose on this stuff…
With that in mind here are my three…
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Had more sex in highschool (man it was FUN back then…still is but the newness and risk added something).
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Gone to the Stevie Ray Vaughn concert at Alpine Valley instead of doing some stupid family stuff.
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Had more sex in college (when the energy levels were still bottomless).
What can I say? I’m with Swiddles and Jeff. Most of the really shitty decisions that I have made, I can see where making that decision very likely prevented something even worse, so if the end result means anything, I am happy where I am today. And there was a not so distant time when I never would have believed that happiness was possible for me. So the major life learning experiences are out as possiblilities.
But on a less monumental scale, there are a couple of hearts out there that I wouldn’t have broken quite so lightly, given more time to think about what I was doing to them, or knowing how badly they were going to take it.
And I think I would have named my daughter something different, had I known that every fourth girl born for the 5 years to come (okay, I am exagerrating) would get her name as well.
- Well, I still would have married my ex, because he really helped me get my act together for the first couple of years. But I wouldn’t have held on so long to a marriage that was dead in the water.
2)Would have stuck with college the first time around.
3)Would have slept with the guys I didn’t sleep with and not slept with the guys I did (for the most part).