I’d round up 1,000 strangers and buy them each a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That’s cruel.)
I’d actually do pretty much what Creaky wants to do - give money to veterans and animal charities.
I’d also like to help build up the Cleveland area, first with better schools (Cleveland schools are SO bad) and then work on a plan to help bring more jobs back to the area. I love Cleveland a lot but it’s got a lot of “flight” - people don’t stick around to work here. I would really be happy if I could help make it a place to come to and not a place to up and leave.
solfy
i’d buy your love …if you are female 
if not hell …for a billion dollars you could buy mine 
I suspect there is a joke in here, but I don’t know what it is. Could you please explain?
It comes from a song called “If I Had a Million Dollars” by the Bare Naked Ladies from Canada.
More or less the same. I come from a poor rural county in north Georgia. I’d spruce up the county seat (which is run-down but has potential). I’d also build a nice new high school, fund some teaching positions (particularly science and mathematics), and fund some scholarships.
Thank you
I would do the same as Shagnasty and the others who would spruce up their town or a past town they lived in. I live in San Diego now so it’s good enough but the town I grew up in could use some help. It is a small town, Chickasha Oklahoma, of under 20,000 people.
I’d put a lot of money into business to help the town grow and a lot into the college to encourage students from other places to go there. I would also put a lot into fun stuff as there is not much to do there entertainment wise.
Also I would buy homes for a lot of my poorer relatives and pay for any of them to go to college if they wanted.
I would help dedicated organisations saving from extinction as many endangered species as possible.
$250,000,000 each to:
The National Association to PROTECT Children
The ChildTrauma Academy
Gun Owners of America and
ASPCA
Since I disagree with a couple of ASPCA’s campaigns, they’d be the only organization I attached stipulations to. They could only use the money for pet-based spay/neuter, resuce and adoption-related efforts.
Donate it to the World Pedantic Foundation?
I’d give it to the American Diabetes Foundation. Type I Diabetes has devastated my family and friends.
I notice nobody has decided to check the box on their tax form stating you’d like to make a donation to reduce the national debt. I always thought it’s strange that people say the taxman doesn’t have a sense of humor.
Heh, yeah, I have a feeling that would happen. This music video (see 3:20) was what made me think of that.
Yeah! Screw the roller disco! This is where all the money is going.
[quote=“Shagnasty, post:1, topic:466043”]
You have five years to spend $1 billion dollars and you absolutely cannot spend it on yourself, family or friends, what would you do?
I’d divide it three ways. The first would go to the Easter Michigan Food Bank, to feed the local homeless.
The second would go to the YWCA Safehouse, to help local abused women & children.
The third would go to the local Humane Society.
Love, Phil
Of course, there is the obvious answer: New SDMB servers.
An excellent idea, but it might count as spending it on yourself and your friends. Shagnasty, can we get a ruling on this?
Indirect benefits like this are OK. For example, you could watch a huge fireworks display that you paid for.
That kitty in the video is really cute. I wish there were more footage of the guy riding him. Gidd’up, Li’l kitties! Yah! 
I’d donate it all to the SPCA, with the same stipulation as FallenAngel: They could only use it for “pet based spay/neuter, rescue and adoption-related efforts.”