Why do I ask? No real reason; I just thought it might be an interesting topic of conversation.
What’s my answer? At least one, probably two, maybe three. My best friend–sometimes called my work wife–and I have a long-standing relationship independent of the office; we’re also neighbors and godparents to each other’s kids. My successor at my previous position, and I aren’t quite as close, but we’re still friends outside of work, so unless one of us left under a cloud we’d keep on much as we are. And there’s a third person I’d like to remain friendly with indefinitely.
What about the rest of you? How many of your work friends are also actual friends?
From my first job out of college, I stayed friends with 1 guy out of our 4 person team - at least long enough for him to be the best man at my wedding, but we haven’t hung out in a year or two.
From my first job out of grad school, I stayed friends with maybe 3-4 people out of my group of 100 or so. But again, it’s been 6 months to a year since I’ve seen them.
Of my current office mates - well, most of them actually have a nasty commute, so it would be unlikely for us to hang out. One guy I do mud runs with - might still get together for those once a year.
Generally though, my feeling is that my coworkers are people I work with, not people I’m trying to make friends with. I’ll of course be friendly, but rarely hang out outside the office.
I think I would remain friends with one coworker. Meaning, I could see us grabbing lunch occasionally and emailing/texting each other frequently.
For another coworker, I can see us maybe meeting for lunch or dinner on a rare occasion.
But the other folks? Nope.
A coworker quit about three years ago and moved halfway across the country. She’s been doing the stay-at-home mom thing since then. She keeps in touch with most of us through quarterly emails and through Facebook. I have to say that it’s kind of awkward. I was friends with her when she was here, but now I feel like she’s a stranger. And she kinda is because she’s a different person. I knew her when she was a single, child-less scientist. Now she’s married, with two kids, and those two things are all she talks about. And I’m sure she has a hard time relating to my tales of workplace drama. So we don’t have anything left in common. I almost feel like she’s staying in touch not for the friendship, but so that we will remember her in case she tries to get her old job back. Which is smart, actually.
A group of us from a job about 5 years ago still eat lunch together every few months.
I also have one coworker from 1977 that I remain friendly with. It helps that his wife and my wife were coworkers at the same time.
In my industry, government IT contracting, it’s very possible to run into former coworkers all the time. It’s usually best to leave on friendly terms and not burn bridges.
I’ll actually be leaving my job in two months as the company I work for was bought out and our positions are being terminated effective July 15. I’ve been there for nine years and while I’ve been friendly with just about every co-worker in that time, I haven’t really kept in touch with any after they’ve left aside from being friends on Facebook. This includes two people with whom I was friends for many years before we became co-workers. No animosity whatsoever, I just happen to suck at keeping in touch with people!
Most of us at the staff level are fairly tight. There are at least two or three that I would make a point of regularly seeing outside of work, and tons more that I would, at a bare minimum, have lunch with if my next job were convenient enough to them.
But I feel like I’m luckier than most when it comes to my coworkers. And many of us have been working together for over a decade.
One of my very closest friends is a woman I meet at job we had nearly 30 years ago.
At my current job of 22 years, I have good acquaintances, and one person that I have worked closely with for about 7 years and certainly call a friend, but we don’t hang out or anything. She’s 20 years younger than me, lives 25 miles away and well, it’s just different.
I left work six months ago (retired). I didn’t really have close friends there (the close ones had all left over the years, and I just couldn’t connect with the people 2 generations younger than me), but there were a number of people I enjoyed being around. I had never been on Facebook, but I decided that it might be a nice way to stay in touch. About 20 of my co-workers immediately asked me for Friend status, and we have kept in touch that way.
But as for actual in-person or on-the-phone connections, none.
I’m friendly with some of them, but not really friends now, so if our reason to be in contact twenty or more hours a week vanished, we wouldn’t be friends any more.
June 9th is my last day so this has crossed my mind. I see staying in contact with 5-10 for at least a year and maybe 2 long-term. I am still friends with and have regular contact with a couple people who quit the past 6 months so I’m guessing that its a reasonable expectation.
