If you lie down with dogs you'll get up with fleas.

And the same thing goes for baby squirrels.

My darling daughters brought home a young, about weaning age, squirrel they had found that had fallen out of a tree and hadn’t yet figured out how to climb back up, at least faster than a couple of twelve year olds who wanted a pet squirrel. Wife sat holding Rattles Jr.* while it warmed up and I called around to make absolutely sure that I could use the “But it’s illegal to keep it” argument, not wanting a kid to later tell a shrink about how I had lied.

As Wife sat with it, the children picked fleas off Wife, themselves, and the brand new sofa. One got on me and took a few nips before I killed it. When they FINALLY decided to free it Rattles had decided he wuvved Wife. He nudged her hand when she stopped petting him and started hollering when the kids brought him outside and he realized he was leaving forever.

Wife went to the bathroom to get rid of the rest of the fleas (“Fleas usually make a beeline for my bra, so I found several in there.”) while I vacuumed the sofa and every square inch of the house the little tree rat had thought of going. The bites still itch and I am imagining I’m still crawling with the bastards.

I really hate fleas.

    • Another squirrel story. I have many of them. One of these daughters was named after a squirrel. Fortunately for her, the squirrel was named Lisa.

Cool! now, if your involved in a radioactive experiment soon, you can turn into a Squirrel-Flea-Man!!

Think of the Adventures!!

[sub]but I doubt that your wife would be too happy ;)[/sub]

dropzone, you wear a bra?

The quotation marks meant I was quoting my wife, mouthbreather. Goddamned wiseasses!

Although…I could use the support. :wink:

Twisty, I was more concerned with bubonic plague. It takes my mind off the West Nile Virus.

Wife: “If squirrel fleas carried plague this whole town would have it.”

but which plague? there were three simultaneously: there was the pneumonic plague, the bubonic plague, and some other nasty bacterial (staph?) infection all at the same time, with similar symptoms and results (see: death).

I said “bubonic plague.” The one spread by flea bites. Sheesh! And they are all the same bacillus, Yersinia pestis. The difference is in how you get it.