Oh, I do intend to include friends wherever I go/whatever I do… I have no family left but I have four very close friends and their children as well. We discussed the cruise thing the other night as well as a month’s stay at a villa that we found on St. Thomas (not my favorite USVI, but close to medical facilities).
And, believe me, I’m not brave at all! After almost four years of treatment, I’m just accepting. I moved to back to Birmingham, principally, because B’ham is second only to Houston, perhaps, in the treatment of coronary problems and transplants (I have, amongst other things, something called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy - my heart is just too big and inefficient to pump the blood and oxygen I need and it’s too weak to undergo invasive surgery). I do have a good attitude, though, on most days! At 44, I’ve led a pretty exciting and fulfilling life - I didn’t do everything I wanted to do, but I have enjoyed my time and, for the most part, feel that I’ve made other people happy as well.
I just want to treat myself (and my friends) to a ‘going away’ present that I’m included in and I need to do it soon as my symptoms are getting worse by the day, it seems. My close friends take great care of me but I know that I’ll soon need a 24 hour nurse/caregiver and I’ve let all of my doc’s know that I intend to snuff it in my house, in my bed (or the living room sofa - watching a favorite movie). My friends and their families will be well taken care of, my funeral arrangements (minimal!) have been made; in short, everything is in order.
Everyone is gearing up for the month of June right now and the idea of just laying on the beach with a book and a fruity beverage (which, I’m afraid, would have to be non-alcoholic because of my meds) is very, very appealing to me. One of my cardiologists has put the word out about my wishes and I see him today at 1:30 p.m. and I’m hoping that he has some suggestions as well.
And I am very, very lucky, I think, to know what lies ahead… my Dad died of his first and only heart attack at 58 and his Dad at 62. It’s likely that they had some form of cardiomyopathy as well - most people just have ‘sudden heart failure’; mine has been gradual and I’ve been able to deal with it fairly well.
Again - many thanks to all who have replied; I hope to have something concrete in the next week or two (one thing that has occurred to me is that I might be able to find a way to do a cruise and a villa rental - there are tons of cruises that dock at St. Thomas, USVI).
I’ll let everyone know where we’re headed!