Wott izzat? Kinda like “Tonk’s Care-A-Mel Wayfarers”?
No idea what one is, and it wouldn’t occur to me to ever label anything as such.
Don’t know for sure. When I’ve come across the term in reading I’ve always imagined a muffin-ish sort of thing – like a small cupcake but without frosting.
I had no idea that the marshmallow-chocolate cookie thing could be called a teacake. I love them (in my experience, they are called mallomars or pinwheels) but they don’t seem like an obvious choice to be paired with tea.
sort of, but the words are almost spat out at high speed and great force. The exact opposite in fact of happens to said wafers themselves! 
I’m with the OP. The overdose of powdered sugar is what makes it a tea cake. Usually contains nuts, but not mandatory.
My WAG is that a tea cake isn’t a specific thing, but a class of things. Little baked goods that are small enough to eat with fingers, rather than a fork. Larger than a petit four, though.
To me, a teacake is a sweet roll with currants or other dried fruit in it - like a hot cross bun without the spices (or cross). A currant bun without the icing, basically.
That’s called a “sweety pie” here.
In the UK a teacake can mean the aforementioned currant bun, rather flat and designed to be toasted, the aformentioned shortbread, marshmallow and chocolate thing and, inexplicably, a toasted tea cake is also a flat soft toffee covered in coconut (found in old fashioned sweet shops these days). Although the currant bun resembles a hot cross bun it differs in having less fruit and being flatter.
Same same
I always think of ladyfingers, only instead of being oblong, they’re circular and smaller - maybe just bigger than a quarter. Or, I think of petit fours. To me, tea cake is a category meaning mostly delicate little cakes you nibble with tea.
A character from Their Eyes Were Watching God. Otherwise I think of petit fours, or other bitesize cakes, but not biscuits or cookies.
Those shown in the first link are always known as wedding cookies, or Mexican wedding cookies here. I’ve never heard them referred to as tea cakes, and they are quite common here. There is a huge difference, by the way, in wedding cookies made at home or at a proper bakery and those for sale in grocery stores. The former being soft and creamy on the inside, and hold their shape when bitten in half, the latter being hard, flavorless rocks that crumble into a dry mess when bitten.
To me, a Brit, there are no such things as “versions of teacakes”. The first link in the post you quoted is a teacake; nothing else is. Yes, I see that other Brits have posted that they regard other things as being tea cakes, but I have never come across that myself. Maybe it’s regional.
Despite having no British heritage to speak of (unless you count being Scots Irish), I also immediately thought of something like the first one. The only reason I didn’t think of the second one is because I have always assumed that they have to be in that round form.
But I need to make sure: is it about the American muffin consistency? It looks like it.
This is what I think of; back in my misspent youth, I worked in a “historical” tourist trap, and they wanted us to use the wood stove. One of the 1800s recipes they provided was for “tea cakes,” this is what the final result would have been had I any cooking skills at all.
Default for me is the fruited cob thing, eaten toasted. I adore the choccie marshmallow ones, mind.
Whatever it is, I’d like one very much, please. Maybe two…
Could be, I’m originally from the north-east so maybe the Tunnocks tea-cake has crept south of the border but not much further. I now live in Kent (Sandwich, as it happens! rather apt for a tea-cake discussion don’t you think?) and haven’t noticed if they sell them down here.