Now you tell that to a kid, he says something in school, the teacher reports it and you have a visit from Family Services. :smack:
My father was given a medical discharge from the Navy because of a heart murmur. He told us that he was kicked out because he opened up the hatch on a submarine and made it sink. Later he said that he quit the Navy because they wouldn’t lte him have his own boat.
My dad also had invisible animals that lived under his chair that would make really loud noises and smelled really bad.
Back in the early 90’s there was a show on ABC called America’s Funniest People that would occasionally have a skit with a jackalope. My wife thought it was the stupidest looking creature and couldn’t believe someone would make something like that up. So I had to set her straight.
I told her about going on family vacations out west and seeing these dangerous creatures. I told her the stories about them charging our car and puncturing a tire with their antlers. I showed her a picture of the antler arch and told her about how they all came from jackalopes. I had her convinced for a couple days.
This reminds me of my girlfriend’s sister-in-law. She used to call the shis-ka-bobs that they sell in the street ‘monkey on a stick’. One day she got a call from her second grader’s teacher about a disclipinary problem. It seems the teacher asked the class what their favorite foods were and her daughter answered, “Monkey meat.”
You know how upset kids get when you tell them they’re lying when they are not.
My dad once told me that the reason airplanes retract their landing gear is to make the plane lighter.
I remember the very first time I challenged my dad on something. I was around 5-6. He insisted that blood was blue inside the body and only when it hit air did it turn red. I mean…look at your veins…they are blue.
The reason I doubted him was that I had been to a clinic and they took blood. It came out red. He said there was enough air to turn it red. I remember thinking about this and doubting it because it came out red right away. I argued with him about it.
Thing is, I don’t think he was fooling me…I think he really believed it 
When I was five years old, my grandma told me that swallowing watermelon seeds would cause a watermelon vine to grow in my stomach. A few days after I received this information, my mother took me out shopping. When I saw a pregnant woman, I ran over to her, tapped on her belly, and announced “I know what you did to get that way.”
My dad said they would put hair on my chest. Eeeeeeewwwwww! 
Some of these are hilarious. My dad loved to tell people odd things – some were facts, and many were fiction. The best part was that the strangest stuff he told were always the little trivial facts that you would actually look up, so many times, you wanted to doubt him and call him out on stuff, but were afraid to be shown the proof!
<breaking my own caveat of no imaginary creature stories>Everytime we lost a tooth, he reminded us that if we could manage to not stick out tongue in the empty spot, the Tooth Fairy would reward us with a nice, shiny gold tooth that would be worth a lot of money if it ever fell out. </broken caveat>
I think the best thing, though, is that my 7 year old son has the same penchant for the absurd as my father had. When he goes to the doctor, and the doctor is checking his ears, he puts his hand over the opposite ear. No one ever told him to do it – he just decided to do it one day. Of course, I know the kid and knew what he was doing, but the doctor was a bit confused. He asked, “does your ear hurt?” and my son smiled and said, “no, sir” The doctor looked at me with that look – you know the one, it says WTF? – and I laughed and said, “he is covering the other ear so you won’t see straight through!” The kid is a total goof, and I almost feel sorry for his kids – he will have them believing some funny stuff!