I would want people to bow down to me. And give me money lots of money
I’d create cats.
Generally, like force them to evolve, or individually, like:
zap meow
“What the fuck was that?”
“Another fucking cat.”
“Where the hell are these things coming from?”
I’d call a meeting with everyone on Earth and tell them that I existed and I’d admit that I’m not a Very Nice Boss. Then I’d tell tell them to kiss their collective ass goodbye.
I was thinking more of the latter. 
Golden Shower
I’d stage a modern ‘Sermon on the Mount’.
Bring the entire population of the World instantly to a place.
Give a sermon (with equal volume at the back).
Then send everyone home.
There would of course now be a full video of the event on the Internet at www.God.com. 
(Any hackers of My site would be shocked by a thunderbolt from their computer.)
This would let Me give My message directly to my worshippers (not muddled through translations).
Since this has not happened, I shall continue not to bother with God (if She exists, She desperately needs a PR department.) :rolleyes:
pi , converted into base 11, deeply calculated into the gazillionth decimal place, had a string of ones and zeroes which, of plotted on graph paper, would form a perfect circle.
A siple geometric shape with no beginning nor end.
The very signature of the Author.
cite, please?
*The Babelfish is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy not from its carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’
But,' says Man, The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’
Oh dear,' says God, I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
`Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that didn’t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best-selling book Well That About Wraps It Up For God.
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation."*[right]The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams[/right]
Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone. However, if I felt the need to reveal myself to ephemeral creations, I’d probably do so in some stock way with blazing, fifty foot high letters, lightning strikes, natural disasters, plagues of insects, et cetera…all the stock in trade stuff. Sure, it’s not very original, and a whole bunch of people aren’t going to be believe in me anyway, but that goes without saying, and I can always smite a few if I’m having a bad day.
Stranger
Pi – The Source Of All Information?
also see:
Does randomness truly exist?
and
Millions of Monkeys - a Q of chance
Make every phone in the world ring at the same time.
I know…but can you imagine him trying to explain to people? Especially if I was like a devine Mr Ed…
I’d embody myself into an avatar every ten years or so, wander around a part of the Earth (and the other worlds i’ve created life on) offering advice. Not on worshipping me, just helpful advice.
I already mentioned this in another thread.
I’d write messages using distant galaxies. I’d put them far enough apart that the different messages could not have been in causal contact with each other since before the inflationary phase of the big bang. Then I’d leave notes for astronomers telling them where to point their telescopes.
I would have put stuff in my holy book or books that human beings would HAVE to agree could only have been known by an almighty, omniscient being who inspired the book, once they discovered these facts on their own.
Instead, what we get is the Bible telling us that hares chew their cud and the Koran telling us that the sun goes to bed in a little puddle at the end of the world at night.
Now, I realize that God could not have told Moses or Mohammed: “Take this down: Deoxyribonucleic acid will be known as DNA.” Because they both would have gone “Huh???”
But he could have told them, for example:
“Someday mankind will defeat infection when he discovers that it is caused by beings too small to see.”
“The planets Mars, Venus and Jupiter (or whatever they were called by the Hebrews and the Arabs) are not stars like other stars. They have no fire of their own. Their light is the refelected light of the sun. Mars is like the Sinai desert, but much colder. Venus is so hot that nobody could live there.”
When I ask Muslims why the Koran does not say stuff like that, they answer with the non-sequitur: “Why do you want to tell God what to say?”
The funny thing is that there is a whole school of perfectly serious Muslims who try to prove that the Koran DOES INDEED contain such scientific wisdom that an ordinary Arab of the 7th century BCE like Mohammed could not have known.
For example, they seize on the word “atom” in the Koran. Conveniently overlooking the fact that the word existed thousands of years before the atomic theory, and simply meant a very small particle.
There is a European scientist, I believe a Frenchman, who wrote a whole book “proving” the “undeniable scientific content” of the Koran. It is about as scientific as “Chariots of the Gods”, but the smart bastard made himself a celebrity in the Muslim world and has gotten lotsa $$$$ from the Saudis.
Allah is great!.. and profitable!
Fascinating stuff. Thanks.
That was not found in the movie but the book Contact, written by Carl Sagan.
Oh man. This cracked me right up. I had to hide my face. I actually laughed out loud.
Yes; in fact, somehow I never got around to seeing the movie. It wasn’t pi, either, but one of the other constants.