Me too. I finally stopped laughing, and you had to go and quote him and it made me laugh all over again!
And me with bronchitis, so I’m sitting here going, “hahaha…snorkchoke…gasp…coughcoughcoughhack…blurgh…haha…urg.”
First, I’d embed white tiles in city streets, linking Calvin & Hobbes quotes to Kubrick’s 2001. Then, I’d have zoo tigers reciting ordinary casserole recipes to fascinated tourists. I’d have Rastafarians deciding that Joseph Heller is me.
Well, he screwed up then. If he had given us all one more finger, then he might be on to something.
I’d take the form of a tortoise and fall on someone, killing him instantly. Nothing stirs up belief like a good “tortoise from above” smiting.
what would be the porpoise of that?
I would answer the prayers of amputees and regrow their missing limbs.
Subtle, yet undeniable.
Courtesy of http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com
Allegheny College wins BCS championship. And then goes on to win the Super Bowl.
I would appear on American Idol.
I would make a large neon sign light up above the heads of politicians giving speeches that said BULLSHIT when appropriate, and a blinking UNBELIEVABLE BULLSHIT if necessary.
I’d also make a sign light up above rapists, child molesters, murderers, and any other bad thing I felt like addressing that said I RAPED $NAME, or whatever.
These signs would be invisible to the person they were inflicted on, but visible to everyone else.
And now I’m giggling and snorting again. jjim, you win the thread. 
No no, it silenus wit da funny.