If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose?

Sicola. I want to see newscasters say “Pope Sicola” correctly and without giggling.

pope Fabianus,

has Fab and Anus in it!

Take a look at the list of popes the OP linked to. Lots of popes there without a number. I don’t think you get to call yourself Pope Bonzo I until someone else likes the name “Bonzo” enough that he takes it as his papal name, too. Then you retroactively become Bonzo I and he’s Bonzo II.

Or Papa Papa in Latin. For you repetition fans.

As long as I’m posting, I’ll answer the OP’s question to say that I’d definitely be toying with the notion of calling myself Pope Impius.

Cheers,

bcg

Pope Linus! Then I would carry a blue blanket around with me wherever I went.

Pope Suburban I

I too was thinking of a prefix hung on to a good old popey name.

Pope Impius I

Another one here who was going to say Sixtus VI…

who was the AntiChrist character in the Carol Balizet novel THE SEVEN LAST YEARS, which was actually a decent book.

Pope Shmoopie, as a shout out to the Seinfeld fans.

Damn it, that’s the name I want–pope Linus II. Besides the Van Pelt connection, I’ve always felt a soft spot for people who do things second. Buzz Aldrin–the second man on the moon. John Adams, the second President of the United States. Linus was the second Pope. Taking his name will secure his place in our collective memory.

You know, like the second person to visit the Marianas Trench. Who was it again? Oh, wait a minute . . .

Pope Sidious. And I’d insist in having my papal throne permanently set up in front of this sculpture. And some spiffier uniforms for those Swiss Guards.

Pope Adope.

Ron, Pope Eel.

We shall see if John Paul I set a precedent. John Paul I was the first pope to use the ‘first’ when he took his papal name.

Pope Conan II? (Okay, it’s “Conon”, but the Cimmerian connection is strong.)

I’m just amazed that it took until the year 523 before they had a Pope John.

Not long ago, I read a science fiction story in which the conclave of bishops who elect a new pope were all mysteriously guided to write the name of an obscure American on their ballots. That’s right: in the story, it was Pope Dave. (Or maybe Bob, or some similar vernacular name.)

Scrolling backwards through the list, I see that, before Pope John Paul I, Pope Lando (913-914) was the last pope to bring a new name to the list. All the popes since, except for John Paul I, have reused an older name as their regnal name–and John Paul I only lasted a month. (What was up with that, anyways?)

Did John Paul I actually use a numeral? He died so soon, that John Paul II was in office before anyone had time to even notice John Paul I.

I would go with Felix VI. Because Felix V was an antipope, and it would screw with the record-keepers.:smiley:

Since we’ve had two popes John Paul, what about “Pope George Ringo”? The second name is appropriate, what with that giant ring the Pope wears.

Pope Linus is now taking the Papal submarine below 11,000 meters into the Challenger Deep. This is lower than the existing record of 10,900 meters set by the Piccard-Walsh dive of 1960. The Holy Father and Cardinal Zissou will also be staying in the Marianas Trench for a record thirty minutes. This is a historic day for Vatican underwater exploration.

I thought about this long ago. I’d choose the name “Yes”. I’d order fried chicken all the time and the delivery guy could show up at the gates of the Vatican and say, “Hi, I’m here with Pope Yes’ chicken.”

So close!

But the correct answer is Pope Dickhead, because of the hat. It is the perfect descriptive name.

Yes, he did, from the moment he was elected. It seemed a little weird at the time, but then right away he was dead and there was another John Paul so he needed it after all. There was bad karma in there somewhere.