If you were President, how would you request a bathroom break?

[Ranchoth]

I’d use my prearranged signal to the Secret Service that I needed a ride/armed escort to the bathroom…which would be that I’d clutch my chest and scream “CHRIST, I’VE BEEN SHOT!” When I got back, I’d just say “Sorry, everyone, just gas. Sorry. But boy, haven’t we all been there?”

This would only be funny the first couple of times, I guess. Oh well.

[Diceman]

@duffer

Wasn’t there an Aide or Aides that stated LBJ would pinch a loaf while not only leaving the door open, but insisting that said poor sap had to be in the bathroom? I know I’ve read it, but can’t remember where. Anyone else hear this? It was usually, from what I remember, someone reading him the latest news every morning or taking down a speech.

Damn! You know, everything I’ve ever heard about LBJ suggests that he was the meanest, nastiest son of a bitch you’d ever have the misfortune to meet.

[Salem]

@Argent Towers

I’d squat right in the middle of the desk and shit on it.

They call me…The Aristocrat.

Sounds more like the Aristoscat.