If your sleep had a personality, how would you describe it?

My sleep is like a sullen teenager, occasionally susceptible towards being reasoned with but often pointlessly rebellious and arbitrary in its whims. There’s a certain predictability to it, only in the sense that all teenage rebellion largely follows the same formula but there’s also a sense of powerlessness over it’s whims.

I’ve heard of people who can fall asleep within a predictable 15 minutes of crawling into bed and that feels like a unattainable luxury to me. Sleep comes to me when it comes to me and occasionally if it comes to me. Like a teenager with a curfew, it’s more honored in the breach than the observance.

Over the years, I’ve figured out a couple of tricks to tame it, playing old episodes of TV shows seems to hasten sleep somewhat and each show seems to have a different intensity to its effect. Some shows are so soporific that trying to genuinely watch them causes me to fall asleep within 5 - 10 minutes, even when I’m well rested, making actually enjoying them difficult. Unfortunately, each show needs to have faded enough from my memory before I can watch it again, which means I’m constantly churning through shows, trying to find ones that will work for me.

Erratic like the erratic person that i am is the best way that I can describe my sleep habits.

Bi-polar. I either sleep like a dead person or flip flop all night like the Princess and the pea.

For getting to sleep vampire because by nature I am a night person.

Once asleep, to continue the monster theme, zombie. I’m just about brain dead at that point. If you do manage to overcome my severely limited senses and get my attention at that point my reactions tend toward groaning and shambling.

A jealous mistress, whom if I wrong by taking a nap during the day, will punish me by not letting me sleep at night.

Flighty and demanding.

Sex Fantasy. I’m a borderline insomiac.

Ravenous

Like a 14 year old girl with ADHD.

Exactly how it works for me. Just curious, does taking a nap also make you feel hungover after you wake up? Does sleeping late make you feel like you have a hangover all day?

I have serious sleep issues, just curious if others have the same experiences I do.

Psychotic. No ties to reality.

My sleep is an elderly woman, predictable and boring. Very routine, everything’s on a schedule, rarely varies. But she had a wild past, and has memories of love, sex, babies, adventures, fears, and fantasies lived, and when she relives those memories they become my dreams.

Patient loanshark. Sure, no problem, we can let most of it go this time, just be aware that there is going to be a reckoning at some point, and I get to choose when that is, and you might not like how it goes down. Also, you may notice that when I say we can let most of it go this time, that comes with some side effects. Nothing really serious, not like what will happen at some point in the future, but it’s there. Not to worry, though, I’m sure you will be able to make up all the arrears this weekend and everything will be fine. I’m going to go oil my chainsaw, you stay on the internet and keep that interest flowing.

A thief. An abductor - it beats me unconscious and tears me away from my life, then a few hours later, it nonchalantly drops me back home, dazed and disoriented.

Lying, scheming, jerk. Oh sure, if you do A, B, C, D, E juuuust right, I’ll let you sleep like a baby. PSYCH, no I won’t, I’m going to keep you up endlessly and only let you drift off a couple of hours before you have to be up. Just kidding, you settle down now and drift off… there you go, NOPE, WAKEY WAKEY.

Jerk.

Been awhile since I was hungover, so I can’t say for sure, but usually I don’t feel very refreshed after taking a nap, it takes me 20-30 minutes to come around and ‘shake the cobwebs’ from my brain.

Haven’t slept all that late, I get my 7-8 hours a night and that seems to be all I need. Been too long since i tried to sleep 10+ hours after a long night, so my memories there would be a bit fuzzy (at 62, a lot of memories are a bit fuzzy).

Hope things work out for your issues. My dad and brother could/can nap all day and fall asleep at night in 10 minutes flat; always envied them that.

Socially awkward, inquisitive nymph that snaps to attention when time is up.

My sleep does not know how to play it cool. It appears when it feels that it might be accepted and persists with questions about how comfortable I feel, is the blanket covering me just right. Its a nymph in that is writhes seductively in the hope that its undulations will inspire its bed mate but bed mate has snuck out for a late night cigarette. Drat!

My sleep is pretty happy in the summer, but right now it’s kind of a douchebag. I rarely have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep (usually conked out 5-10 within 5-10 minutes of hitting the pillow), but the waking up part sucks sometimes. In the winter it’s dark when I get up at 5:20 a.m., so my sleep hates the hell out of me in the morning. It likes me a lot more in the summer when it’s light when I get up, and I’m excited to wake up because I get to take my coffee with me onto the patio and watch the sun rise while everyone sleeps.

If anyone’s sleep were to have a cranky personality, though, it’d be my husband’s. He snores like a flipping bandsaw and despite our king sized bed, has the wing span of an eagle. That means he occasionally karate-chops my throat while he’s sleeping. So I try sleeping on my side. Then he’ll cuddle up to me and accidentally knee me in the tailbone sometimes. His sleep is a little more destructive than mine.

My sleep is like Bane. I went to bed fine but woke up with a very painful lower back.

This sounds like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Have you tried SAD lamps to see if they help?