This is fresh in my mind - my FIL had surgery on Wednesday to repair damage to his Achilles tendon. He’s 87, and I’m guessing his age will affect how soon and how well he’ll heal. He’s been told to stay off his foot for 2 weeks, so when he has to get around, it’s one foot and a walker. But even that is supposed to be minimal.
My husband went to help out his folks, and he indicated that his dad is disinclined to do what he’s been told. Because when he was a young man, he didn’t let something like a sore leg slow him down, dammit!!
OK, not his words, but his attitude. And that’s an attitude I have a hard time understanding. You go to a doctor because you need his/her expertise with an issue. The doctor says, variously, alter your diet, change your activity level, take these meds, avoid this or that, come back for a recheck in XX days. I wonder how often people actually follow these instructions.
One never takes a full course of antibiotics - once she feels better, she saves the rest for the next time (self medication.) Another was told he’s diabetic and he needs to follow a specific diet and get exercise… yeah… like that’s going to happen. Another was told to stop smoking and ease up on alcohol consumption. Another was told to stop taking medical advice from the internet.
I don’t get it. Is it denial of mortality? Revolt against authority? *“You’re not the boss of me!!!” * You have to make the effort and make the appointment - why would you then ignore the advice and guidance?
Might just be sticking with what’s comfortable. It doesn’t have to be an overt revolt against authority – although maybe that’s part of it. I think it’s just preferring immediate gratification over long-term deferred rewards.
(Which, by the way, is one of my definitions for the word “wisdom.”)
I knew a guy who had diabetes, and mostly followed instructions, but cheated now and then, and got lazy now and then. He’s gone now…
I decided, some years ago, to ignore advice to eat less salt. I like salt. So, heck with it, I just pour it on. I know I’m harming myself…but it isn’t as bad as smoking, and I know an awful lot of smokers.
People make poor decision every day. Usually they survive, and in doing so they learn that advice is just that, advice. I follow my doctor’s advice to the letter because he’s the expert, not me, and since I paid him all this money… okay my insurance company paid him all this money, I assume he knows what he’s doing. I sometimes go to the Internet to verify what he told me, but he’s never lied to me and following his advice has never done me harm. I know people who think they are smarter than everyone else. I’m not sure why they even bother to see the doctor since they often ignore the advice they are given. Perhaps if they had to actually pay the doctor bill themselves they would take the advice more seriously… but somehow I doubt it.
I would think the pain would be enough to keep him off his feet. A loss of balance might prove fatal at his age. Otoh, who wants to go to the bathroom in front of someone else?
Sometimes people do or continue to do things that may not be in their best interests. Your 87 yo. FIL may look at staying off his bad leg as something against his best interest. He is 87 and active. How did he get there, by not letting a sore leg stop him. His view may well be that if he stops for a couple of weeks he may not be able to resume his normal level of activity.
Everyone decides for themselves what is worth their efforts to change. I am 6’3" and 300 lbs. I know what I should do. Lose weight, duh. Will I? In spite of what my doctor tells me I am pretty sure I’ll go on just as I have been.
Here is the deal, IMHO, almost everyone knows what they should do differently to extend their lives. Just because something may extend your life doesn’t mean it will enhance your life.
Your FIL is just a little younger than my dad would have been (born 1923). Those guys are from the “greatest generation” and many of them are tough old bastards who do not take orders well.
It could be individual personality but IME this type of personality is common among that generation, partly because of living through the Great Depression and especially those who saw action in WWII.
I suspect the optimal strategy is to not emphasize that it’s “doctor’s orders”, but instead “here’s what your caregivers think will best empower you to most quickly get back to optimal health so you can do the things you want” (maybe not in those exact words).
Doing something on your own to improve health is a very satisfying thing. It’s just that we need to recognize that following our own path (or that of Some Guy On The Internet) doesn’t necessarily work out well.
Ah, but it’s not just a sore leg. He tore his Achilles when he went outside during Irma because he heard something. I still can’t wrap my head around why an otherwise intelligent man would go out INTO A HURRICANE because he heard a noise! They had power, the roof was not leaking, the windows were intact…
Sorry - this is turning into a rant. Compounded because my husband had to drive 800 miles to help out his folks, missing work time and taking him away from a project he’s trying to wrap up, and leaving me home alone. I don’t want FIL’s recovery to drag out longer than necessary because he’s being stubborn. And MIL has macular degeneration so she can’t drive and until FIL is recovered, they’re pretty much stuck.
<deep calming breath>
And that’s why you should listen to what the professionals say.
I have a friend who is constantly saying “Those doctors don’t know anything!” She’s single, never married, an only child, and always has to be the smartest person in the room. A few years ago she injured her leg in a fall. She refused to comply with her physician’s recommendations for rest and recovery, and she’ll probably be using a walker for the rest of her life. Amazingly, she still hasn’t admitted that mayyybe her doctor was right this time.
I also know a guy (wouldn’t describe him as a friend) who boasts about ignoring his physician’s advice about diet and alcohol use. He claims that living longer isn’t worth it if he has to give up his beloved fatty foods and beer.
And don’t get me started on smokers who talk about their Aunt Hazel who went through five packs of unfiltered Camels a day and lived to be 112.
Is there something unclear about doctor’s orders - as in the orders given by a doctor? I’m not an English major but I’m pretty sure that’s correct usage.
I think for a lot of people, not being able to do exactly what they are used to doing, or having to use a walker, wheelchair, take medications, the list could go on makes them feel as though they are showing a weakness. Even though in the long run, following a doctor’s orders and using a cane or taking all of a medication has its benefits usually, it’s often, imo, a psychological or image related reason that makes people refuse or question a course of treatment. Some people are just damn stubborn, too.
The piece you’re missing is that sometimes “experts” actually know less than some other people, and sometimes their advice can be downright harmful.
Not that many years ago, the doctors were telling everybody to avoid eggs like the plague, because of all that deadly cholesterol. Guess what? It turns out that eggs are actually healthy. Some years before that, doctors were saying to avoid that “unhealthy” butter and use “healthy” margarine instead. Oops–they got that one backwards.
Currently, a lot of doctors are still following the fad that cholesterol is bad for you. Guess what? Cholesterol is absolutely essential to the proper functioning of the body, and furthermore, most of a person’s cholesterol is manufactured by their body; I think roughly 20% comes from diet.
There are other examples of the so-called experts knowing less than somebody who knows how to observe things properly and has basic reasoning skills.
And then there’s the conflicting experts issue. My cardiologist in California told me the ratio of cholesterol is more important than the individual levels and mine was wonderful. My Texas cardiologist says I should take a statin, because. He had a couple of reasons to do with plaque and keeping it hard and blah, but after I had a bunch of tests he admitted the plaque issue doesn’t really apply to me, yet he still wants me to take lipitor. Guess what. I am not taking a statin despite what the expert says. See why we don’t always trust the doctor?
Well something like the FIL staying off the foot could turn out to be self-enforcing–it may well be that you put some pressure on it and it gets very painful very fast.
Unfortunately it is more often the case that those other people know a lot less than the experts and are doing harmful things to themselves. Look at the anti-vaxxers for example.
The doctors or press reports of studies. My doctor never told me to stop eating eggs - I doubt many did.
Nobody is calling for an LDL level of 0. Some being essential does not mean that too much is good. Yes, much of your cholesterol level is genetic - mine is the lowest my doctor has ever seen unmedicated, and I eat plenty of eggs. But having a high level due to genetics is not an excuse to do nothing about it.
That’s right, people with Ph.Ds in medicine or biology have no reasoning skills.
But I’m fine if a 55 year old does stuff that is going to kill him in five years. More Social Security and Medicare for me.
In the care-free days of my youth I often ignored the advice the doctor gave me concerning injuries. Today several places in my body remind me of that fact every morning or on damp days. These days what the doctor wants, I do exactly as directed.
Medical opinion is not black and white. A doctor tells you what works best for most people, but it is not meant to imply that you must absolutely do this or not do that. Hopefully, the doctor will phrase his advice to best guide the patient according to his own nature. A good doctor will explain to a patient why the advice is being given, and the consequences of ignoring it.
My doctors, luckily, are smart and caring enough that they know what advice I will ignore, and they fashion the recovery advice to match what they can expect me to do. We get along fine, and I’m kept healthy.
Remember, Rules are to guide the wise and command the foolish. How wise, in general, is FIL?