I'll drink to that!

[sailor]

There was a long thread in the Pit about whether serving alcoholic beverages should or should not be a requirement in parties. I had a long post prepared but the thread was closed and I am not one to let it go to waste so I’m starting a new thread totally unrelated to the old one and just to share a funny story.

Just in case anyone wonders I’ll say I do enjoy the ocassional glas of wine with my meals but I am repulsed by alcohol abuse. Lately I have had to sit next to someone who had one too many on an airplane and I wrote the airline asking them to not provide free drinks on board. If people want to drink let them pay for it but some people cannot pass anything that’s offered for free. I am very much against alcohol abuse but, at any rate, here’s the story. This is a very short excerpt of a couple of articles that appeared in the Washington City Paper:

On the first Friday of each month, Washington’s exclusive Cogswell Society gathers to revere the memory of their namesake, Dr. Henry Cogswell, a 19th- century San Francisco dentist and ardent temperance activist.

They drink, they swear, and they attribute fictitious accomplishments to the inventor of a new method of installing false teeth. At the February assembly, one Cogswellian claimed that Dr. Henry had also devised a glow-in-the-dark condom “for when you want to rise and shine.”

Ostensibly, the Cogswell Society was formed to protect the good doctor’s enduring monument: a grotesque Victorian drinking fountain that still stands outside the Archives Metro station. But in practice, the society is an excuse for an afternoon of convivial rippling, a secret fraternity with its own arcane and pointless rituals, where Washington lawyers, businessmen, and other professionals can let down their hair.

Cogswell was not really a bad sort: a self-educated, self-made millionaire who turned to philanthropy in his old age. His chief fault seems to be hubris in believing that his statuary would inspire men to drink more water. Washington was one of about 15 cities to receive fountains from the teetotaling tooth-puller. In the Cogswellian canon, the fountain is “a tasteful Victorian blend of bronze, lead and granite, ornamented with pleasing rococo filigree and curlicues.” Its four stone columns support a canopy on whose sides the virtues of Faith, Hope, Charity, and Temperance are chiseled. The centerpiece is a pair of entwined dolphins-- “obviously copulating,” remarks one member.

(Members are called herons because of the bird on the fountain) . . . The master of ceremonies is addressed as the Lead (as in the metal) Heron, in honor of the gangly bird perched atop Cogswell’s fountain. He picks the site and makes the arrangements. This month, London Daily Express bureau chief Ross Mark has that honor. “Gentlemen, a toast to temperance!” he shouts.
"I’ll drink to that!" reply the assembled members, hoisting wine glasses and balancing on one leg in imitation of the heron.

I have a cousin who is in AA and I always kid him. If I agree with something he says I say “I’ll drink to that!”

The Cogswell fountain can be seen on Pennsylvania Ave and 7th St, next to the Navy Memorial and I always take visiting friends there and tell them the story of the fountain.