"I'll fix your wagon!"

For those not getting the “askew on treddle” bit…

I’ve also heard the variant “I’ll fix your little red wagon”.

And that crowbar reaches acroooOoOOooooOoOOOOOooooss the yard, to your wagon…

I heard a guy say “Ill punch his lights out!”
Stayed far away from him!!

That’s the only way I’ve heard it, and I haven’t heard it for a long time. And it was usually conditional. As in “he’d better finish his chores before he leaves to hang out with his friends or I’ll fix HIS little red wagon.” (For some reason there was always emplasis on the his/your part of the phrase.)

I used to get from my Dad about being late for dinner; “… or I’ll tan you hide”.

I always knew that it wasn’t a pleasant neighborly offer!

My mother showed her Cherokee heritage by offering to tan my hide.

I tried to explain that I was not proficient at hunting and that if I were I would have no idea on how skin the beast.

I always understood “tan your hide” to mean tan your hide - that is, the speaker would skin the person to which they were speaking, and then prepare that skin properly.

For instance, In “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” the singer exhorts Fred to “tan me hide when I’m dead,” that is, the singer’s own skin - not an animal skin in his possession.

I’m being whooshed, aren’t I?

Are you implying that my own mother would have been threatening me with some not-insignificant physical harm?

You must be pulling my leg. Which is impressive considering you don’t even know where I live!

Plough.

Tan your hide means a spanking

Well, spell check gave “plow” a pass but I’m always happy to learn something new. I did know that “tan your hide” meant a spanking in the near futures.

“Plow” is the spelling used in America. Apparently “Plough” is used some by the Brits, but not sure how common it is. And since LousiB is in Florida …

Oh no, you mean that my Dad was not offering to treat the hide of an animal I had hunted and skinned?? It actually meant corporal punishment? Shocked I tell you:D

And what do they call the wind?

Ask the trees. (Or, if you’re King Crimson, ask the wind.)

“Rio”?

Asking the trees, okay.

Talking to the trees, well, not everyone can pull it off.

Talking to fire hydrants doesn’t work, either.