Stop it! Stop eating my tree! I just planted it and now you sheep of the insect world are committing herbicide. I wouldn’t mind if there were one or two of you, but you obviously don’t know when to quit. There must be thousands, nay millions of you little, green, Japanese fuckers, and you’ve pushed me over the edge. You’ve taken to dive bombing my dog and landing on his butt, making him spin rapidly in a fruitless attempt to rid himself of your sticky embrace. It’s not funny I tell you. I thought we’d gotten rid of your asses when my neighbors put up the trap. You and your little friends couldn’t resist the sweet nectar emanating from what appears to me to be nothing more then a urinal cake. Welcome to the Hotel California you little pricks. Thousands of you went in, and I laughed victoriously when you couldn’t find your way back out the same hole. Dumbasses. Unfortunately, my neighbor never changed the bag, and you bastards piled yourselves all the way to the top and got out. Now it’s judgment day. I’m not as environmentally conscious as my neighbors. The insecticide is attached to the hose, and I’m squeezing the trigger. Stop squatting on my tree, and back away slowly. Maybe some of you will live to produce little Japanese Beetles… but I doubt it.
May be if you shouted this rant to the grubs, they’ll fall out of the tree laughing. Thanks for one of the better posts today and I hope you kick those stupid little grub asses! 
Is your dog’s name Pearl?
Just wondering…
You know, I’ve only seen a Japanese beetle once, and it was really kind of pretty. Isn’t it that big beetle with a metallic green wingcase? I guess they’re not all that common here in central California, since I’ve only seen one that one time.
Pretty or not, they must be hell if they’re devouring your tree. Go get 'em!