Illinois Dopers, Wanna run for the US Senate?

Not sure where this thread should go exactly.

So the Illinois Republican State Central Committee has been looking for a replacement for Jack Ryan in this fall’s US Senate race for almost a month now.

Ken Dillard is the latest to say 'thanks, but no thanks." Former Chicago Bears coach, Mike Ditka has turned down the chance. So has almost every other leading Republican in the Land of Lincoln.

So what do you say Prairie Staters, you just have be at least 30 years of age, a citizen for 9 years and a resident of Illinois. . . Oh yeah, and never taken your spouse to a French sex club.

Hmmm- isn’t Uncle Cecil a resident of Illinois?

So what do you say Prairie Staters, you just have be at least 30 years of age, a citizen for 9 years and a resident of Illinois. . . Oh yeah, and never taken your spouse to a French sex club.
Well, 3 outta 4 ain’t bad.

(1) Over 30. Check.
(2) Citizen for 9 years. Check.
(3) Illinois resident. Check.
(4) Check. (not married :wink: )

Well, dang. I’m not 30 yet. I might have considered it.

I wonder what my dad’s up to for the next few months.

It’s a sad state of affairs when I’m feeling sorry for a rich guy but poor Jim Oberweis, who came in second in the primary! It’s like he’s back in third grade and everybody is getting picked for the team except him. He’s jumping up and down, yelling, “Pick me! Pick me!” and the party bosses are looking right through him and asking the head janitor in the Senate Office Building if he wants to run.

drop, thanks - I just spit Ritz cracker crumbs through my nose after reading that. That was hysterical! And so eerily accurate - what a perfect analogy!


So what’s the problem with Oberweis, have Illinois Republicans become lactose intolerant??

It makes perfect sense that the RPTB would ignore anyone who ran in the primary and lost. The first string candidate who actually won the primary is out, why would they run someone who couldn’t beat him? No, they need a Ditka or an Arnold, someone who can slam dunk the electorate. I guess there aren’t that many such Republicans in the Land of Lincoln (how’s that for irony?).

Oberweis? Milk? I’ve seen Weis grocery stores in PA, is this the same guy?

I think Bud Bundy is 31 now. :smiley: You could do worse.

Sad, isn’t it? It’s not like Illinois doesn’t have a pretty good crop of moderate Republicans that could beat Obama to the political center. But if you’re a heavy hitter (Thompson, Edgar, Barr-Tropinka, etc.), you don’t want to be seen to be picking over the left over corpse.

They’ll either trot a lamb out to slaughter or try to get some state wide exposure for an up-and-comer.

resident of IL - check
citizen for at least 9 years - check
never taken spouse to a French sex club - check (I’m not married)
over 30 - damn.

Over 30, check.
Resident of IL, check.
Citizen for 9+ years, check.
Never taken your spouse to a sex club… hmm. Oh, that only counts for past incidents, and not for future plans, right?

Ignore the fact that I’m cheering for Obama and would throw the race to get him in the seat. :wink:

5 time champ - besides what Otto said (though I think one of the back-of-the-pack candidates, Andy McKenna, had his name tossed around until he said he wasn’t interested), Oberweis ran some attention-getting but factually wrong campaign TV ads in which he talked about immigration and jobs being lost, and so on, which is against the Bush campaign’s stance on this issue.

I’m betting they’ll throw someone to the wolves, personally.

Oh, for extra bonus fun - Ryan has not officially stepped down; apparently he hasn’t gotten around to filling out the form to do so, even though a newspaper columnist filled one out for fun and managed to complete it in around 45 seconds. From what I can tell, the state Republican party has no power to make him step down, either, and the state treasurer/head of the IL Republican party is supposedly pissed.

Perhaps there will be a twist on an old Illinois tradition this year.

A corpse on the ballot!

At least 30? Check.
Citizen for 9 years? Check.
Resident of Illinois? Check. (Resident for the last 28 years, even.)
No spouses in French sex clubs? Check.

Well… I qualify. Where do I sign up? They announced my company was sold yesterday so I might need a new job in a few months.

Of course, I don’t live in the State of Chicago so my chances of actually winning would be slim to none and slim left town.

Damn, I’m not 30. If only!

Oberweis is a local dairy company.

I fit the bill, but I don’t think it would go over well if I ran just so I could tank it at the last minute and let Obama win. I think he deserves to win if only because of how well he handled Ryan’s stalker.

Hmmmm….this could be a fun way to spend a weekend…

Over 30? Check.
Citizen for 9 years? Check.
Illinois resident? Check.
No French sex clubs in my apparently all-too-boring past? Check. (Not married, or even otherwise attached in longer than I care to think about, in any case.)
Squeaky clean, never had even a moving violation.

Unfortunately, if the Republican Party spent about 45 seconds discussing my views on the issues, they would run away screaming – let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye on too many things. :wink:

Oberweis? Well, last time I saw one of his campaign ads, he was ranting about foreigners taking Illinois jobs. There are enough non-U.S.-born voters around here, or people with non-U.S.-born close family members, that his spiel was sounding awfully white supremacist. Gave me the chills, and I *was *born in the U.S., as were both my parents.

I also saw the Senate primary debates, and Obama IMHO was the only one who could string together an articulate sentence. I like that in a person.

Hey 'nanas! Our combined ages are more than 30. Let’s run! It’s so diabolical!