I'm a postman not a bank

So anyway there I am going about my job of delivering mail.

I have a charge of £1.20 to collect 'cos someone has mailed a card without a stamp on and this is the standard Royal Mail Surcharge Fee.

I arrive at the house:

“Morning ma’am I have a surcharged item here that you asked to be delivered today”

"I don’t see why I should have to pay "

“You don’t, but if you don’t it goes back to sender”

“Well what is it then?”

[BLANK LOOK HERE] “I dunno, we aren’t allowed to open them”

She than hands me a £20 note

“Sorry ma’am but I don’t carry change and the office did tell you to have the exact money ready”

“Why don’t you carry change”

“Because I’m a postman and not a bank”

I then offer to take the note and bring back the change the day after.

She looks at me as if I had just suggested she give me a BJ and call it quits.

This went on for about 10 mins or so and I had 9 sodding bags of mail to deliver today and I’m not a happy little pilgrim.
She eventually says “hold on I’ll call your office”

I explained to her VERY politely that I had wasted enough time already and that I had all the rest of the mail to get shut of, I then buggered off.

The dozy cow follows me telling me her sister had sent the card and remembered putting a stamp on it.

“For the very last time ma’am, I am only doing my job, mine is not to reason why, just to collect the money and you can’t have the card until you pay the £1.20”

I’m really fed up…honestly, God hates me I just know it.

Would you let the pound twenty slide if she did give you a BJ?

You know, spogga, I never want to wish ill on anyone. But your rantings about your job really entertain me.

If you were happy, would your posts still tickle my fancy?!?

HOMEBREW: THis woman had a face like a blind shoemakers thumb, so the answer is yes but only if she took her teef out.

SCOUT1222: I am happy it’s just that some of the people you have to deal with are 2 vouchers short of a pop up toaster

Once when I worked in a coffee shop, in the financial district, below the national headquarters of no fewer than five enormous banks, a man bought four coffees and a cookie and handed me a



I did a double-take, as did all my customers in line. Not only had I never seen one before, I hadn’t even known they existed.

He was genuinely surprised that I couldn’t make change. He asked me if anyone else “around here” (indicating the rest of the food court) could do it. I said prolly not. He asked who might. I suggested, gee, maybe someone in one of the head offices of the five national banks, right above us?

He apologized, saying “he wasn’t from around here.” Geez, bub, the Canadian dollar isn’t so bad that you can use $1000 to buy coffee. Idiot.

I guess by “around here” he meant “planet Earth”.

She was told she needed exact change and still raised a fuss about it? Sheesh, besides being dense she probably could have raked up enough spare change from under the car seats and sofa cushions faster than all the hassle she dished you.

Take comfort, spogga, she’s uglier and stupider than ditch scum but she’s stuck being her. Now could you really create a more hideous fate?

[sub]spogga’s work rants crack me up every time.[/sub]

But don’t you people keep your money in postal accounts? I read about postal accounts all the time in British books and such.

This story is making me thirsty!

[searches pocketses for change for the Coke™ machine]

Um… you got change for a fiver?


Was this before or after it was discontinued? :confused:


Back to the OP, work just isn’t work if you enjoy it. :dubious:

Who wouldn’t enjoy this?
Oh, you mean spogga, the poor sod.
He lives through the actual insanity, we snicker through his ranting.

They’re basically a simple bank account, only based at your local post office - nothing to do with mail delivery. As far as I’m aware, they’re pretty much nearing extinction now, anyway (although I’m sure somebody will prove me wrong…)

Spogga, my brother used to deliver mail (in Kent. Though he used to live in Manchester. Whalley Grange, the poor bastard). You people are either heroic or insane. Best wishes.

This might be Karma coming around for stealing that breakfast and having that woman arrested.

I always think what a nice job it is being a postie. In fact my brother did it for a while while in between studies, he loved it as well.

Fwiw I always hanker after one of those rural runs in a red van around the west of Scotland, or a pleasant early morning walk through the leafy suburbs as the world is waking up. Definitely worse ways of getting through life . . .

Glad you’re happy in your work, spogga.

I think it would be a safe bet that this was an attempt to pass counterfeit currency.

Oh, can I identify…

I work at wal-mart, and you would be amazed at how many people want to pay for $5 purchases with $100 bills. Wal-Mart starts cashiers out with exactly $100 in change at the beginning of the shift- $50 in fives, $32 in ones, the rest in coins. I’ve actually had people get mad at me for trying to give them change for their hundreds in fives. Which really pisses me off because the way the registers are set up, the drawer is clearly visible to the customer, so they can see that I don’t have larger bills to give them.

One woman came up with two separate purchases, one of less than twenty five dollars, the second less than fifteen. When she handed me the hundred for the first purchase, I gave her my only twenty, all of my tens and most of my fives. For the second purchase, she hands me another hundred. I told her, “Can you give me a smaller bill? I don’t have any change. I gave you all my change.” She insisted, and I repeated that I had given her all my change. (Did I mention that my cash drawer is clearly visible to the customers, so she could see that I had no change left?) She kept pressing the hundred on me, and it dawned on me that she (and the people with her) spoke no English. I finally nabbed a CSM and got the change, but this woman had the smaller bills I had just given her, and she was insisting on giving me another hundred when she freaking knew that I didn’t have change for it.

Sub-rant- it is incredibly common for non-English speakers to come to Wal-Mart. This is fine, their money is still good, but you’d think they would bring an English-speaking friend along to translate. They still need to be able to communicate with the cashiers and sales people.

Thea, in your example, the woman probably didn’t know what the total was, and just handed you the biggest bill she had in hopes that it would cover it. When I worked at Rite Aid and at Taco Bell, it seemed like the non-English speaking customers didn’t quite grasp the concept of American money. I never minded customers like that, 'cause they were always friendly and were an interesting challenge in an otherwise mind-numbing job.

Thea Logica, she probably was shopping for two different people, and wanted to be able to give each person proper change. She probably also was not really familiar with American money. Of course, she didn’t consider that this might put YOU out. However, I don’t think that Wal*Mart is being particularly wise here either in the matter of having just a hundred bucks as the starting float.

Personally, I refuse to carry bills larger than twenties unless I plan to make a major purchase. If I cash a check for a few hundred dollars, I make sure to tell the bank teller that I only want twenties and tens. It’s just too much of a hassle to break a hundred.

Unwise but fairly common. I get about $100-$150 in change including loonies, toonies, a handful of fives and 3 tens at the grocery store where I work. It’s a pain in the ass but they need the bigger bills to bank and get change early in the morning.