I'm a winner!

It’s official.

I got a mailer from a car dealership in a nearby town with a scratch-off pad to determine if I was a winner of The Grand Prize, $1500 cash, or a Tank of Gas.

Scratched it oof and BINGO! Grand Prize!

A vacation in Florida, all I have to do is pay all travel expenses, food expenses, taxes, etc. Whee!

Yeah, I know. So I read the fine print.

Odds of winning The Grand Prize: 73,337 in 73,339

Yep, only 2 losers, the ones who supposedly get the $1500 or the gas, the odds on those were 1 in 73,337.

Grand prizes are a dime a dozen these days. It would have taken half a tank of gas to even collect the tank of gas. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited.

Drinks are on me! All you have to do is pick up the tab.

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your good fortune.

Did they forget to mention that when you do go to Florida to get your vacation, you’ll have to sit through a high pressure timeshare presentation as well?

They likely would have, all I had to do was call the non toll free number with my confirmation code. I was so giddy I must have thrown it away before I made the call. Drats.

I am not impressed. Just yesterday, I saw a commercial where they were offering $15,000 if you could unscramble a word and text message the answer to them. The word was “LOHIDAY”. Sorry to leave you hanging with that one… I’ll post the solution AFTER I collect my $15k.

Oh yeah? Well, just you wait until “they” send me all those laptops, Ipods, and plasma TVs I won for clicking on the pop ups. We’ll see, buddy, we’ll see.

I post again then, but my computer is acting f nn y r gh t n

Sucker. Computers are yesterday’s news when it comes to winning the big money. Telephone text messages are where it’s at. Today’s question: Where is the Statue of Liberty? Text “Game A” if you think the answer is New York. Text “Game B” if you think the answer is Chicago.

As usual, I’ll post the answer AFTER I collect my winnings.

Got it! The word you’re looking for is hyaloid, which means “resembling glass in transparency or translucency”.

Lid ahoy!

Fortunately for me, I don’t think the contest is open to contestants outside of the United States.

Hyaloid, India’s answer to Otm Shank!

Hearty congrats, Duke of Rat!

You’ve given me an idea! Maybe on my website I will offer a chance to win a free trip to Las Vegas - winner gets a canteen of water and a map.

You’re a driver, you’re a winner. Things are gonna change, you can feel it.

In other words, don’t believe everything that you breathe.