I know there have been quite a few of these around the pit lately, but I have been keeping this crap bottled up for too long. It really amazes me that people can be so stupid. Or annoying. Or rude. Holy crap, ever since I started working, I now have much appreciation for my fellow customer servicers. Now, I know some of you are fortunate enough to never have had to work as a mimimum wage slave to the customers, so if you’re one of these people, learn from this, and never do it!
Give me your money. Seriously, I want your money. Will you please stop getting your damn coffee for a second and just give me the damn money? You’re holding up the line. And when I prompt you for it, don’t glance up at me, and resume pouring your coffee. Once I get your money, I can ring up the next person. It really helps the line move, and if you want to block everyone, then well, you’re just a jackass.
When I suggest that you sit down to wait for your food, it’s really not a suggestion. What I’m saying is “Get the hell out of here and quit blocking people who want to order” except in a polite way. Don’t say “No thanks” to me. Just get your ass out of there.
The metal grate under the coffee is not a place for you to pour a whole cup of coffee. It was designed to catch the drips that come from the coffee spout. It is not for you to pour that 12oz cup of coffee that for whatever reason you don’t want. I understand that some fountain pop machines let you do this, but this isn’t a fountain pop machine. It’s a small metal grate under the coffee that will overflow and drip everywhere if you pour a whole friggin cup of coffee there. If you want to pour it out, I will happily do it for you in the sink in the kitchen. All you have to say is “Will you please pour this out for me?”
When I greet you, please respond. If you don’t feel like opening your mouth, the least you can do is grunt at me. Just don’t be a rude jackass and ignore me and then glare at me when you finally want some service.
This one is really important. STAY AWAY FROM THE TIP JAR unless you’re throwing change in there. Otherwise, stay away. It’not a “penny jar”. It says clearly and boldly, “Thank for your TIPS”. If you’re short a penny, I’ll most likely let it slide. But once you reach that dirty paw into our tip jar to take that penny out, I will point out that it’s our tip jar and get your own damn penny, and I won’t let it slide until you give me your penny. You won’t go into a restaurant and lift tips off a waitress’ table because you’re short a penny. Same rule applies to the tip jar.
If you’re in a hurry, don’t order from the kitchen. Grab a muffin. Enough said.
Staff at the same facility get 10% off. Problem is, there are lots of staff and unless you come regularly and chat with me during the slow times, I won’t remember you. You have an employee ID, show it. Don’t stand there with your mouth hanging open, looking at me while I ring up your stuff. Don’t give me your money, accept the change, then say “Hey, where’s my discount?” It’s too late. I can’t do refunds. Show your god damn ID.
The coffee pot runs out of coffee sometimes. I would like to have a magic coffee pot that will supply us with endless amounts of hot, fresh, delicious coffee, but that’s not going to happen. When it runs out, most of the time, I will know. I can hear the sound of the splattering that comes out of the coffee pot, and I will rush to change the pots. Do not press on it over and over and over again, as if somehow, there will magically be coffee for you. Perhaps you’re doing this because you’re trying to tell me there is no more coffee in the pot, but I already know. And now that you’re pressing on it, I can’t lift it up to change the coffee. If you’re really that impatient, you can say “Hey, there’s no more coffee.” Otherwise, take your hands off the pot and let me change it!!!
All comments about price will be ignored, since most of the time it’s something along the lines of “Wow, it’s so expensive.” I won’t even attempt to humour you and smile like I sometimes do with lame jokes. What do you expect me to do about it? Bring it up at the next “Let’s let the minimum wage slave suggest how to price the items” meeting? If you think $1.70 is too expensive for a cup of coffee, put it down and go away.
When I’m running around like a damn monkey, it’s either because I’m doing my “running around like a damn monkey” impression for my co-workers, or that I’m busy. Most likely, I’m busy. So, when you see me running around like a damn monkey, don’t tell me what you want. I will not hear you.
Wow. This was long. I think I’m going to give my fingers a rest here. Thank god for the pit, or I’d annoy the hell out of my friends letting off this rant on them.