I'm an odd, odd person.

Only this time, SHE started talking to ME. Seems that “somebody” just couldn’t resist the temptation to get to know me better. She should have known better:

fbrkwarrior55: hey who is this
Jester: I dunno, you tell me.
fbrkwarrior55: bye
Jester: But you can’t leave! I’m cold, and lonely!
fbrkwarrior55: well tell me name and you will receive
Jester: Okay, but it’ll cost ya.
Jester: I want $5,000 in wooden nickels.
fbrkwarrior55: what an arm and a leg
fbrkwarrior55: G2G bye
Jester: In an unmarked bag. Leave it out in the parking lot by the purple shed downtown tomorrow night.
Jester: Just tell em “Big Lenny Lefty” sent ya.
Jester: They’ll know what you mean.
Jester: Come alone.
fbrkwarrior55: Bye
Jester: Unless you wanna bring friends. That’s okay, too.
fbrkwarrior55: asshole
Jester: No, I told you. “Big Lenny Lefty”
fbrkwarrior55: lunn
Jester: He’s self-concious enough without your insults.
Jester: Oh, great. Now you made him cry.
Jester: Are you HAPPY now?
Jester: HUH?
Jester: FEEL LIKE A BIG PERSON NOW?
Jester: Hey, where’d you go?
Jester: I think you need to get your connection. checked. It keeps signing you off.

I am SO going to hell for this. :smiley:

LOL
That’ll teach me to not read through my previews properly!

I would do stuff kinda like that 3 or 4 years ago on IRC. I loved messing with the “tech” people on the help channels. I’d tell them that my hard drive was full and a friend told me to clean out the files I didn’t want.

“Well,” I explained, “I cleaned it out real good in a bathtub full of sulfuric acid. Now it won’t work. What the hell is going on here?!”

I went on in a similar vein for quite some time. If they thought I was putting them on, they never gave any indication. To them I was just the user from hell, I guess.

Another time, I joined a lesbian channel hoping for some cybersex (hey, I was a male teenager. I make no excuses for my actions). One of the girls on the channel was TOTALLY convinced that I wasn’t a woman for some reason. She told me that there was a secret word that every woman in the world knew that had never been uttered to a man before. She then demanded that I tell her this word or get banned from her channel. I patiently explained (read: lied) that I was a woman and that I had never heard about this word before. She didn’t buy it. I got booted.

Oh, how I loved IRC loonies! (except for the girl who followed me around for a couple months insisting that she be my girlfriend. That wasn’t fun). :slight_smile:

Here’s a fictitious company, typeconnect, that you can send them to to find their very own buddy!

Funny thing is, Im IM buddies with one of the guys from baiting.org. Im just waiting for him to to talk me into saying something stupid. =) Those bastards have no scruples… They’re funny as hell though.
Uhm… anyhow… awhile back Id taken to copy and pasting ridiculous conversations from my Yahoo msgner into my online journal… There was just such an abundancy of dumb shit to laugh at, I had to share some of it =) Below is an excerpt from one of those conversations…
korn9999_2000_99: im kinda horny can i ask you a q
korn9999_2000_99: dont get amd

crystalia_sian: I wont get mad.
crystalia_sian: I might not answer you.
crystalia_sian: But I wont get mad or anything.

korn9999_2000_99: can we cyber

crystalia_sian: No thanks.

korn9999_2000_99: why not
korn9999_2000_99: please

crystalia_sian: Because the idea of “cybering” doesnt interest me in the least.

korn9999_2000_99: just for a little while
korn9999_2000_99: please live a little

crystalia_sian: Theres hundreds of thousands of dumb little girls on the internet who’ll say/do anything you want them to.
crystalia_sian: Im not one of them.

korn9999_2000_99: come on you wont be disapointed

crystalia_sian: I’m already disappointed.

korn9999_2000_99: god why did i have to see those pics im horny your sweet dont be mad
korn9999_2000_99: i mean sad

crystalia_sian: Im neither mad nor sad… Im just not interested.

korn9999_2000_99: your sexy nice smart
korn9999_2000_99: please just make me happy
korn9999_2000_99: have u ever cybered
korn9999_2000_99: well

crystalia_sian: Umm.
crystalia_sian: You whining and puling and begging isnt really doing much for me, kiddo.

korn9999_2000_99: come on
korn9999_2000_99: what do u want me to do

crystalia_sian: Find someone else to fuck with.

korn9999_2000_99: but i want u please why do u have to be mean

crystalia_sian: lol
crystalia_sian: You think IM mean?
crystalia_sian: Walk up to a random chicka on the street and ask to fuck her… and then whine when she says no

korn9999_2000_99: yes a little

crystalia_sian: See how far that gets you.

korn9999_2000_99: man comeon please im on my knees

crystalia_sian: Yer a sick individual.

korn9999_2000_99: i lay u down on your bad canndles r burrning i guide a rose down your naked body then u
korn9999_2000_99: i kiss your soft sweet lips and cherish every momentmy skin touches yours
korn9999_2000_99: babe

crystalia_sian: Im sorry… Were you speaking to me?

korn9999_2000_99: yes its your turn

crystalia_sian: I coulda -swore- I told you to go fuck yerself.

korn9999_2000_99: please just do it

crystalia_sian: Im not interested, boyo.
crystalia_sian: Hey!
crystalia_sian: Can you suck yer own dick?

korn9999_2000_99: no almost
korn9999_2000_99: its 11inches

crystalia_sian: Yuck… Get that bitch trimmed off.

korn9999_2000_99: ladies love it in their ass

crystalia_sian: Those arent “ladies”

korn9999_2000_99: u would toid make you scream

crystalia_sian: In horror.

korn9999_2000_99: man why do u have to be a bitch your rude i realy thought you were something i guess i was wrong

crystalia_sian: laugh

korn9999_2000_99: bye

crystalia_sian: So now a girl has to be a cheap whore to be “something” Man, yer deranged.

crystalia_sian: Later.

malkavia, how ya doin’? :smiley:

LOL sometimes I do that too… they are just sooo annoying…

how often did it ask for your name???!!!

hehe
Warning levels are funny - but they disappear when you go offline - just show everybody what an interesting person you are… dull ppl never get warning levels… but then there are some ppl who get levels for a reason hehe
I just warn my friends when I am bored… got one up to 99% with anonymous warning :slight_smile:

I like how some of them, when you say no to cybering requests, say, “You fat f*cking bitch.” Oh yeah…how come, if I’m so fat and ugly, YOU’RE the one who needs a computer to get laid?

I’d tell you but my msg would prolly be redirected to the TMI thread.

sniffles and coughs

Why do some people in chats think it’s their God-given right to ask these kind of questions? That just happened to me today in a Microsoft chat (now I know why I stopped going to them a year ago). Some guy sent me a really cute Santa picture…then he sent me some really tasteless picture involving penises and some girl with a wine glass. I was offended by this, and I told him. Then he said, “Don’t you like sex?” I told him I was a virgin and he thought that it was some big joke. Then he asked me what I liked to do with penises and I told him it was none of his damn business. Sheesh.

I remember playing Yahoo Checkers and I told some guy I was a missionary. He said, “Um…so you’re into sex huh? That’s cool!” I was so blown away by his stupidity that he didn’t know what a missionary was. “You MORON!” I typed in all caps.

Oh, and the guys who ask me for my bra size…why does it matter?? What gain will it give them? This is even more pointless if they don’t know what I look like to begin with.

Okay, this is starting to turn into a Pit post, so I’ll stop ranting…

Oh, by the way, Malkavia, you’re my new hero/heroine. :slight_smile: I say things much similar to idiots like that. Do they ever learn though?

Yeah, I decided to be a real jerk one night to this mean girl I met online, so I started becoming completely logical and making fun of her. I found it funny, but you might not:
Darkangel 5:04 PM 13, and I think rap bites.

Chrissy 5:05 PM man dont u get called a fag often?

Darkangel 5:06 PM nope, no one I knows likes it either

Chrissy 5:07 PM that must be weird over there

Darkangel 5:07 PM what province you in?

Chrissy 5:08 PM earth

Darkangel 5:09 PM THat would only be a province of a place that
owned earth, but since no higher poweR (aka.
empire, etc) owns or controls it, earth
cannot be called a province

Chrissy 5:09 PM u r such a freak

Darkangel 5:10 PM no, I’m a perfectly normal human being, except
for a few natural mutations that are not very
far out of the ordinary

Chrissy 5:13 PM r u a comic book freak?

Darkangel 5:13 PM No, I think they rot the mind

Chrissy 5:15 PM well why do u talk like that?

Darkangel 5:16 PM If I was reading comics I would be more likely
to speak using ‘sci-fi’ terms, which I am not.
I’m just talking normally

Chrissy 5:17 PM r u one of those people who r straight ‘a’
students

Darkangel 5:18 PM We don’t use a grading system like that, we do
it in percentages. I’d be a straight ‘b’
student I think

Chrissy 5:19 PM id probably be a straight b student too

Darkangel 5:20 PM The only difference is that I’m in an
academically talented class
***
Snip
***

Chrissy 5:24 PM i am sorry my b/f is not gay
u should be a shamed about saying that

Darkangel 5:25 PM a shamed what? a shamed person? Nah, I don’t
really care

Chrissy 5:27 PM well r u gay

Darkangel 5:28 PM Not that I can tell, although one must reach
full sexual maturity before that can know for
sure, although the ‘urges’ start during
puberty. Since I have not had them, I can
conclude that I am not gay

Chrissy 5:29 PM i dont believe that u r not gay

Darkangel 5:30 PM Hmm, why would that be?>

Chrissy 5:31 PM i dont know u just sound like that

Darkangel 5:32 PM And how would you know what gays talk like?

Chrissy 5:32 PM cause i met one yesterday

Darkangel 5:33 PM So you’re generalizing the entire gay
community based on one meeting? That’s called
stereotyping, and many efforts have been made
to stop it…

Chrissy 5:34 PM u talk to much

                              ur just so weird

Darkangel 5:37 PM Technically I’m not talking, but I’ll just
skip that. I’m only weird because you don’t
know anyone like me. Not liking
different/strange people/things is called
Xenophobia, and may have been acceptable in
times when humans lived in small isolated
communities, but in today’s age of
telecommunication it’s pointless.

Chrissy 5:37 PM u r now the weirdest person that i know

Darkangel 5:38 PM And you’re still being Xenophobic. I prefer
not to talk to Xenophobic stereotypers.

Darkangel 5:42 PM BTW, what’s wring with being weird?

Chrissy 5:43 PM u would never understand why do u talk like u
r a brainiac
or chat

Darkangel 5:45 PM Because I believe the more I express my
knowledge, the more skilled I become at
putting it to better use

Chrissy 5:47 PM yah but it is so annoying

Darkangel 5:49 PM Then it would seem in your best intrests not to continue communication

Chrissy 5:50 PM ftine

NOTE this is not how I really am, was tired and fed up with her (this was after a long and insulting conversation.

Speaker, that post made my brain almost rot through. I need a shower now. (Sorry, that girl’s blatant ignorance and poor spelling frightened me to no end)

Gee, I should start going to chat rooms so I can round me up some stupid people to play around with!

Speaker… are you really sure you are not gay?
I mean… I know 1 gay person too - and he has the same eye color as you… so you must be gay.

:wink:

dodgy

Personally, I would’ve been a LOT worse. What a ditz.
To Chrissiewhatever:
Well, maybe I think there are too many stupid people around all ready, deary. Just promise me one thing-never breed.