I'm an odd, odd person.

Hey, I know that we’re supposed to be fighting ignorance over here, but every now and then it’s fun just to, y’know…poke it a little.

My friend was being bothered by a random person he didn’t know IM’ing him, so, rather than just ignore her/him/it, we decided to have some fun with them. He told me their sn, and I proceeded to toy with their puny, typing-impaired mind:

Jester: Help! They’re after me!
fbrkwarrior55: hello who the heck are you
Jester: You gotta HELP ME!!!
fbrkwarrior55: who are you and I’ll helpp
Jester: No time for formalities!
Jester: They’re coming!
fbrkwarrior55: bye
Jester: But the MIDGETS are after me!!
Jester: HElp!!!
fbrkwarrior55: ok who are you man
Jester: Their small hands are pinching my flesh!
Jester: Ouch!
fbrkwarrior55: or are you a girl
Jester: Now they’re biting me!
Jester: I can’t take it!
fbrkwarrior55: who are you
Jester: For the love of all that’s good and holy, HELP ME!!!
fbrkwarrior55: who are you or your goin to have some warning leval
Jester: I’M SORRY I thought you were oompa-loompas! I just wanted some candy!
Jester: Argh!!!
fbrkwarrior55: who are you man
Jester: Fine, you want some, midget-boys?
Jester: HUH?!
fbrkwarrior55: you piss me off more you’ll die
Jester: STEP!!!
Jester: Yeah, that’s right, I got my BAT now!
fbrkwarrior55: who is biznatch
Jester: Whatchoo want?
Jester: Huh?
Jester: Whatchoo want?!
Jester: <whack>
fbrkwarrior55: who are you
fbrkwarrior55: what is your name
Jester: Dat’s right, you RUN, midget’s you RUN, or next time I’ll get out da SUPER-SOAKER!! And you don’t want NONNA DAT!!
Jester: <pant pant> Anyway, where were we?
Jester: Oh, yeah, I was puttin on my moves, all slick-like.
Jester: <slicks back hair, struts over> Hey baby, what’s your sign?
fbrkwarrior55: who are you
Jester: <Adjusts pimp-daddy hat> Why, whatever do you mean?
fbrkwarrior55: like I said again A/S/L
Jester: I just lookin for some luvin, hun. It’s fun.
Jester: Hee hee, that rhymes.
Jester: Errrr…I mean, uhhhh…<cough> Me MAN.
Jester: You…WOO-Muhn?
Jester: Hello?
Jester: Where WOO-Muhn go?
Jester: <grunt>
Jester: <scratches ass>
Jester: <exits>

Okay, well, it was amusing to ME, anyway, and gave me something to do. Also, it got my “Warning lever” on AIM up to %35. I don’t have AIM, and thus have no idea what a “Warning level” is, but I can take a few guesses, and hey, frankly, I’m proud. Frightened of myself, but proud nonetheless.

Erp. I have no clue what a warning level is either, so don’t worry. Actually I’m a little turned on, and a little terrified, but those two emotions cancel each other out.
Muhaha. :slight_smile:

No, but really I do the same thing with this guy. Yeah he emailed me and said that my “profile was gay.” (How Douglas Adams has homosexual tendencies, I’ll never know.) This guy is a real “homie” right, so I toy with him…I like telling him I’m really a vampire who died thirty or so years ago at the Altamount concert. Once I tried to go off on a philosophical concept…:slight_smile:

I’m not sure how you fought ignorance today…But that’s okay. Right?

That sounds like something I did once… I was bored so I went into a Romance chat and when I started getting all those PMs from people I started to chat with one. I told him I was a faery with wings and everything and he asked me questions and stuff. I had him convinced either:
A I was a faery
B I was high on something
C I was crazy and really believed I was a faery

That was quite fun actually… maybe I should try it again sometime…

A warning level is the self-policing system in the AIM world. It does 2 things: 1) lets other people know that you bugged at least one person enough to warn you and 2) if the level gets too high, the rate at which you can send IMs slows down… eventually stopping until it “wears off”

Cool, thanks Opal. Well, I guess that until it “wears off”, I’ll wear it as my own little badge of honor. I earned that %35, galdernit!

Thanks again!

Jester, you will probably like this site. Server is down right now, though.

fixed link http://www.baiting.org

I wish there waqs a way to do the warnings on the built-in IM…I keep getting idjits saying “a/s/l?”, after they call me by my name, and sometimes even come right out and SAY they’ve read my profile…then WHY IN THE BLUE F*** ARE THEY ASKING A/S/L? IT’S ALL IN MY PROFILE! (sorry 'bout the scream) I wish I could prevent these SASOBs from bothering others…my standard response is:
Me: Do I know you?
Them: No
Me: then why are you talking to me?

They don’t get a chance to respond to that :). Sometimes I’ll throw in a “mommy told me not to talk to strangers” before I close the IM window, just for variety.
Next time, though, I think I will screw with their mind, especially if it’s a repeat offender (yes, it happens).
Note to SDers: feel free to IM me, just be sure and tell me who you are right up front, or you will get the worst mindf***ing you’ve ever received :smiley:

Oh, Jester, you are one of my favorite people, just for stuff like this. I love crackheads who randomly IM me. Crackheads make the best toys.

That was great. Kind of reminds me of when one of my friends (at the time) girlfriend hacked onto his account and started IMing people. This girl is a complete idiot and we all took great pleasure in making fun of her.

Woo, Baiting.org is the BEST. I’ve been visiting that site for a year now and doing my own baiting, it’s so fun.

About three years ago, when Heckler’s Online was part of AOL, they did something called “Random IMs” which were MUCH better than Baiting.org’s could ever dream of. They could give you instantaneous cancer they were so funny.


I was playing chess on Yahoo! Games once and my opponent started asking really sexual questions. I told her to go to hell and proceeded to kick some chess ass.

Y’all should go to http://www.somethingawful.com/spam/ and check out the icq pranks.

LOL…I about had a hemorhage reading that!
Something Awful…eeww…(sorry, bad experience with trolls from there…)

After laughing my ass off at the inventiveness and comedic genius displayed by the OP, I have included Jester in my exclusive list of Top 10 favorite Dopers. I don’t have an idea in hell as to who else belongs in that pantheon of greats, but it must be fuckin’ exclusive since I haven’t even included myself on it. :smiley:

Why, quasar, I’m flattered! And to think all this time I was insecure! I guess I won’t need this anymore…

<throws copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People out window>

Ha! “Understanding and Compassion” my ass! All I needed was Midgets!! In your face!

<sigh> You posted that. How did I know you would post that.
All of us over here at my end (You know who we are, and i’m not just talking about my slipt personalities) find that VERY amusing. A few ended up on the floor. Congradulations, you managed to amuse them.

Jester, that made me laugh so hard…

My favorite was when a friend of mine and I played with the poor dumb American… We managed to convince him all these wacky things about Canada. Not fighting ignorance, I know, but how could we resist? it was 4 am!

Um, there’s more than one of them…