Well that’s a bit of an overstatement, isn’t it. :dubious:
Most of the lighter fluid burns off by the time the coals are white. I never put the meat on until then anyhow.
The newer method with the starter chimney sounds better and I want to try it. But a lot of great burgers and steaks came off our parent’s simple charcoal grills. I can recall my dads bag of charcoal and lighter fluid. He didn’t like the self starting charcoal.
No, you basically aren’t.
I’d rather use a chimney, but let’s not go overboard.
I have an electric charcoal starter that works pretty well.
I’m going to 3rd or 4th the chimney starter if you’re using charcoal. Easy to light, very reliable.
Definitely put the coals on one side, and when you turn the food, monitor what’s going on, if one side or item is cooking faster than others, move it away from the coals. Thermometers are great tools for keeping yourself from over/undercooking.
If you have to cut into the food once or twice to check it for doneness, go ahead and do it, right now you’re learning. The main thing is to pay attention to what’s happening with the food, so that you don’t have to cut into it next time.
Grill enough, and you can just sort of use the Force to tell if they’re done if you’ve paid attention to heat and time.
That said, the one maxim that’s stood me in good stead is “If I wonder if it may be done, it is, and I should take it off the heat immediately.”
Most people’s issue with grilling is overcooking, not undercooking in my experience, especially with hamburgers and steaks.
If you’re really worried, buy a Thermapenand use it religiously. It has a 3 second read time, which lets you get the temp very quickly, is accurate to 0.7 degrees (i.e. it says 97.0, and the temp is somewhere between 96.3 and 97.7), and the actual thermocouple is in the very end of the probe- only 1/8" needs to be immersed/inserted for an accurate reading.
And… if you’re grilling burgers, make them with an indentation in the middle- as the meat shrinks up, that’ll help them level out, rather than get that screwy convex homemade burger shape that so many have.
I’ve grilled a handful of times. The last time I tried it on a propane stove I was cooking 6 hamburger patties. The patties dripped so much that the fats created a small fire in the bottom of the grill, raising the temperature from a controlled 350F to an out of control 600F and making it near impossible for me to move the hamburgers out of the way w/o burning my arm hair.
How do people deal with that problem?
edited: I’m so new to it that I didn’t know this was a common problem with a name. flare-ups.
OK, I’ll start the war:
You need a better class of friends. Anything beyond medium is a crime against carnivoreology. 
Man up.
Or use charcoal.
Put foil on the grill.
Keeping the lid on helps. Using a spray bottle of water helps, too. If it’s still prone to flaring up, consider using two stages in your propane. That’s what I do at my friend’s house when I make wings on his propane grill. It’s just impossible to cook them without starting a fire, so I bring them up to temp on one side, and finish on the other.
I think it’s like soaking wood chips/chunks. Water is a great heat sink and can control temperature better than some cooks can. I never do it but I certainly understand how a chicken that is 65% water as opposed to 50% water will cook more evenly assuming minimal work. Of course if I want minimal work, I’m not grilling/barbequeing. I earn my bourbon on the rocks those days.
No soaking wood chunks! (Well, you can soak wood chunks, but it doesn’t really do much–the water barely penetrates the wood at all, even if you leave the wood in a bucket of water for a month.)
The wood chips I could understand more, but soaked or unsoaked, they do tend to make a bit more bitter of a smoke than wood chunks.
To fully become one with the Zen that is grilling, one should start at the most basic level.
Acquire some raw meat, any kind, and salt and black pepper. Retreat to the most remote location you can find - away from the light pollution, air pollution, noise pollution, etc.
Time this so that you’re tired and hungry and it’s nearly twilight.
Dig a small hole for the fire. Gather up some dry twigs and some larger dry limbs and them some green limbs and start a fire, taking all of the necessary precautions, of course. Remember, you can eat until you get the fire going well. If you can’t, you’ll go hungry.
While the flames are evolving into coals, rub the salt and pepper on the meat.
Weave the green limbs into a grill. When there are only coals left, put the grill over the hole and the meat on the grill. When you’re half-way to the ultimate in hungry, flip the meat over. You’ll know when.
When your appetite wins out - stab it with a knife, lift it up and bite a piece off of one corner. While you’re chewing, lean back and stare up at the stars. You are one with the fire and the meat and the stars.
And a cold beer.
I brined a couple of turkeys once and then smoked it in my charcoal grill and it was the best damn turkey I’ve had in my life. Especially for a bland meat like turkey brining really kicks up the flavor all the way through, not just on the outside, and it also helps keep it very moist. Otherwise, Something like turkey breast tends to dry out very quickly.
And, I have to say, the only way my parents (God bless them) make turkey breast that is edible is through brining.
AFAIC, there is no shame in admitting that you don’t know how to do something - especially if you also ask for help in learning how to do it.
There are very few things that I enjoy more than asking people for help and then learning how to do stuff that I previously did not know.
So, … please keep on asking and learning. I wish you the very best of luck!
Rots of Ruck to you!