I'm back, and boy, is my brain full!

I’m back from a week away at a Family Practice review board course, where I sat thru 47 and a half hours of lectures reviewing all of Family Medicine. Lectures 7:15 AM to 12:45 PM, and again from 1:45 PM to 5:15 PM, and one to two hours of evening sessions (most of which I blew off). It feels like the patron demon of medicine peeled my skullcap away, and vomited all the information directly into my brainpan. Now if I can only vomit it all back up for my Board recertification exam in July…

Stupid $130 a night hotel didn’t have internet TV, or even pay per view movies. I was planning on vegging out at least once with “The Two Towers”. Dammit. I read 4 Clive Cussler novels (he’s a bit formulaic, no?) one book about the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s boyhood best friend, and a book of daily meditations by Stuart Smalley.

Greensboro, NC really didn’t seem to have anything I felt I must see. The bellhop told me if I was tired of the shopping mall across the parking lot, there was a gentleman’s club named “Chesters” just a quarter mile away, but that didn’t seem to be where I wanted to spend time (or money).

We had some interesting slides on sexually transmitted disease, though. They seemed to scare the hell out of some Legionaires who were having their convention at the same place and wandered in to our lecture hall by mistake. I guess there’s some things that even the horrors of war won’t prepare you for. Serves them right for smoking all over the conference center. Smoking in North Carolina! How could they?

Enough babble. Back to prison soon. Glad they let me out for a while.


I dunno, from the stories my Granpa told me, those Legionaires might have thought you’d found their medical files.

So tell me, Dr. Smarty Smart, how well do you think those conferences get their ideas across? Do doctors really get the detailed info that they need to treat patients using new techniques or whatever? I wonder because no way would I want try out some new method I learned at a conference on my students. There are all sorts of fail-safes for medical people, right?

And I would have gone to Chesters with you, if it had been feasible. I’ve always wondered what an American boobies-on-parade club was like.

That’s top of my list of “Things you should never say to Hannibal Lector.”

Greensboro has a $130/night hotel?:eek:
You did eat some Carolina BBQ, didn’t you? What!

You deserve to be in prison.

I hope you at least tried to get in touch with Doctor J, who’s doing a residency there.

Did you stay at the O. Henry? They want you in the bar instead of watching TV.

Little known fact: Some “substance” having to do with nuclear medicine disappeared from the hospital there. It’s just hard to imagine terrorists in Greensboro.

I want to know what lectures you skipped! Was it the one on the new research into a link between alcohol and perception of beauty? Or was it the one on the link between depth perception and impregnation?

Family Practice.

Family Practice.

Family Practice.

Family Practice.

The prison going co-cop then, is it? :smiley:

That would, of course, be co-ed.

[sub]Stupid fat fingers. WTF is a co-cop, Robocop’s on board adviser?[/sub]

DAMN!! I knew he was in the south, but forgot that he was in Greensboro. Damn, damn, damn, damn! Shucky darn!

And Skeezix, my prison is co-ed. I see both men and women from age 16 up, including pregnant women. I don’t deliver them (I gave that up in 1990), but I do have to deal with them.

badbaby, this was a review course, updating us on advances derived from evidence-based observations. That’s the gold standard of medicine. They say “here, remember to do this, because it’s actually been shown to work”. They also suggest to us what to stop doing because it’s been shown to not work. Or have previously unrecognized side effects like making the patient grow gills or something.

samclem, I got both BBQ and sushi while in NC. No, not at the same restaurant.

I skipped the asthma lecture, Zoe. I already am up to date on that topic. I did attend the infertility lecture, and while alcohol was mentioned there, it was used in terms of an anti-contraception rather than an aesthetic enhancer. Depth perception didn’t seem to be a critical benchmark for achieving conception. I did see pictures of two-headed sperm tho.

I can’t believe I had the opportunity to meet doctor j and blew it. I am bummed.

The Gospel According To Biff (Jesus’s boyhood friend?) Did it tell about the time Mary first hollered, “Jesus, were ya born in a barn?” :wink:

Well, it did have a character ask that question, but it wasn’t asked by his mom. Biff had quite a pre-adolescent crush on Mary, it seems.

QmT- Boy are you a rarity. I never heard of a doctor at a medical convention going to so many meetings. Greensboro must really be dead. At many conventions, I blow off the meetings and buy the audiocassettes and listen at my leisure.

I just have a hard believing that a so called “family medicine doc” can’t be creative enough in his course description to justify a field trip to Chesters™…it’s got “continuing education” written all over it.

Ok, all you Heels. Don’t break your arms posting a rebuttal. :smiley:

[sub]'course, I lived in Durham in 1967. Maybe things have changed…[/sub]

Conjugal visits becoming problematic?

Been there, done that, bought the CD. But this was out of my own pocket, to get ready for the boards. Every 6 years or so, I really pay attention.

And beagledave, done that too! I am no stranger to gentleman’s clubs, but I find that as time goes by the clubs hold less and less interest for me.

I don’t really know if Greensboro is dead or not. But I don’t drink, don’t smoke, and didn’t feel like ogling the babes. So I’m not really in a position to find out how hot the town is. I did play bingo though, but that was organized by the conference hosts. And I did have some old friends at the conference with whom I spent a lot of time.

Well ,the boards-I can now relate. Of course, being present often allows time for questions, but only if you are in the audence.

A co-ed prison.

You read the boards for better than a year, and the things you only think you know…

[sub]Well, yeah, I knew they existed, I just somehow missed that the one you work in was co-ed. Oh well, it was a pretty lame joke, anyway.[/sub]