A few months back, I posted this thread whining about how I had gained 40 pounds and was flabby and was developing manboobs, etc. An exercise in self-pity. :rolleyes:
So I’ve finally made it back to the gym, heavily into weight training (which I used to do when I was a pretty young university gayboy). And it’s working, and my body is transforming…
But I can’t help but feel the tiniest bit conflicted about all this. Am I not part of the “reject the unrealistic body aesthetic forced down the throats of gay men!” movement?
It has nothing to do with my boyfriend/fiancé. He loves me and finds me attractive regardless of what my body looks like. I’m not doing this to be able to whip off my shirt on the dance floor and have a better chance at picking up a hot twinkie, either. I’m doing this because I’m tired of knowing I could have a nicer body, knowing I could be healthier (the cardio has been put on hold until my ankle heals) … I like putting on a t-shirt and seeing actual pecs showing through instead of budding manboobs.
No, I’ll never have six-pack abs. That would require starving myself, cutting my fat intake down to zero, and spending hours a day working on just that part of my body. Although I used to have “four-pack” abs, if you can picture that.
But is it really so wrong do be doing this? Am I a traitor to whatever queer cause to which I so loosely joined myself to? I do still maintain that the body image shown in advertising - and forced upon the gay male masses in countless Pride and booze and club adverts - is an unrealistic one. But I hardly think I’m playing into it, or worse, giving in to it.
So I have no plans on becoming a muscle queen… but “gym bunny” suits me just fine, thankyouverymuch.
No, the idea is, if I go to the gym and get buff, then I’m succumbing to the image of the muscular, smooth, ripped gay man, and that I would now become part of the flock of nameless, faceless, shirtless, hairless men dancing wildly on E at a circuit party. And I’m just saying that that’s not what I intend on becoming.
Why do you have to be a gym bunny or a muscle mary? Why can’t you just be Scott Evil who likes to exercise?
And there you have the reason to work out., which is to be fit! If you had continued down the path of no exercise, you would have been consigning yourself to puffing after climbing a couple of flights of stairs, to not being able to move furniture or carry groceries more than a few feet, to having increased likelihod of heart disease and cancer in your later years.
The difference between you and the shaved, ripped steroid cases on X at the clubs is that you are are taking care of your body by practicing whole health maintenance, whereas those queens are destroying their health by taking party favors and steroids, which will backfire on them eventually.
And don’t worry about having six-pack abs. . . winter is coming on and you need some body fat to insulate you from the cold and to serve as a reserve of energy in case you catch a cold or the flu. As long as you maintain a BMI of 25 or less, you’re fine.
Six packs are highly over-rated. I may just be saying that because I dont conform to the gay standard either. Both my boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend as of two hours ago) and I are slimly built, but a little squishy nonetheless, and thats just how we like it. We both engage in cardio activities, but thats all, no wieght training. I’d probably cry if Mrs. Hotrail’s tummy started getting all hard.
Eve, although I am no fitness expert (although I’m starting to wonder if health care and fitness is a field I might want to explore), there are ways of exercising that do not involve big bucks and can do you good.
For a woman in (sorry) middle age, a pair of adjustable dumbbells ($25 for a starter set), a bench ($50 for a simple, nonadjusting bench) and a comfortable pair of running shoes (??) will be all the fitness equipment you need.
Now I know that you really, really hate hate exercising, but here are 10 reasons why exercise is vital for women. In addition, here is a beginner’s routine with links for buying equipment.
It all depends on your reason. If you’re doing it to fit the image and boink a few boys, then you’re a very, very bad boy. If you’re doing it to stay healthy, then you’re a very, very good boy.
There’s a book I have - forgot the title - but it deals with grooming and basic health and stuff for men. The author is very realistic - he says instead of aiming to be ripped and buff, aim to look good in a T-shirt and jeans. Once you achieve that, carry on what you’re doing - you’ll look good and feel good.
Being healthy is good - I want to be healthier, but like Eve, I absolutely detest anything physical. Walking is okay - but that’s the far end of what I’d willingly do.
Interestingly, I avoid gyms like the plague simply because I’m not fit. I don’t want to look like a dork (now how do I use this, and what does this do again?), and comparing myself with all the healthy men around there will just send me into a bout of depression. Maybe kinda like the “I can’t go to the doctor! I’m not healthy enough!” syndrome.
Find something that you like doing, and do it…unless that something is laying on the couch and never doing anything. Dr. Dobson said he never had time to exercise, until he had a heart attack, then he was amazed how much time he had to go for walks. And Eve, may I ask what unhealthy diet pills? If they’re vitamins/minerals then go for it. But most lose weight by just taking this one pill honestly don’t work. How could they? Unless by spending $120 per month you can no longer afford food.
Well, your body hair doesn’t automatically fall off just because you work out. There is an excellent site with pics of muscular, hairy MEN, but linking would get me in trouble with the mods since not all the men are fully dressed. Just Google “musclebears.”
Y’know, sometimes the only difference between a good thing and a bad thing is the reason why you’re doing it. It sounds like you’ve got your act together, and I can’t see anything wrong with what you’re doing.
Those wouldn’t be. . . . Mexican fat burners? I’d hate to see Eve’s witty erudite posts describe being chased by the Texas state troopers, punctuated by “Gotcha ya.”
Scott, my husband quit drinking and adopted TWO new addictions: his hot rod and exercise. I don’t think he’s ever going to be cut like the younger guys (he’s pushing 60), but he feels great. Do it because you want to. And if it keeps your mind occupied and away from you-know-what, all the better.
Eve, I also hate to exercise, so I starve myself thorugh at least one meal a day. This wasn’t an issue five years ago, ever since I hit 42, well…as the saying goes, “the old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be”. I miss my old bod, but shit…it could be a lot worse. We’re not getting any younger!
Oh, and I was just thinking not too long ago we hadn’t had a nice angsty scott evil thread for a while.
I must confess, I’m not seeing the issue here. Do you think you’re better than those who don’t have as good a body as you? Are you making yourself unhappy by exercising and becoming healthier? Can the results you’re getting, since they are real, reasonably be considered “unrealistic”? Does your newfound muscle tone lead you to act like an asshole in public to those who look as good or worse than you? Are there shirtless pics being taken and uploaded?
If the answer to all these question except the last one is “no” then quit worrying about it. If the answer to the last one is “no” then have Jeremy grab a camera and start snapping. You know, for inspiration for the rest of us.
Oh. And it’s not your job to be un-superficial for others. You can only do that for yourself. Tough shit if you look better than guys who don’t work out. As the old commercial goes, “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”
Heh. I’ve been known to worry about this one too, as you well know, scott.
Like you, it wasn’t until I got equipped with a boyfriend who actually likes my gut specifically that I started exercising. I rode my bike a few times a week this summer. I actually got semi-decent - on my last big excursion I got all the way up to Ile de la Visitation from my place.
During the winter I think I’ll go back to the routine I used to have of taking the metro to Lucien-L’Allier and walking to school through the underground city.
