I'm being stalked by a Battleship.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am pretty sure I haven’t upset any countries…

There was one in St Tropez when I was there. Then it was in St Maxime when I was there.

Then Liverpool.

Now Douglas!

I am not kidding.

2

Its the French again lad, stiff upper lip and all that.

England expects all.

declan

3

You know what you did…

4

If the battleship follows you into the produce section of the grocery store, then you know you’re really in trouble.

5

Q: How do you know whether there’s a battleship in your refrigerator?

A: By the hull marks in the butter.

6

Does the battleship have escorts? If not, perhaps you’d best consider moving into an old torpedo boat, just to be on the safe side.

7

Or you could just call up your neighbors and form a phalanx, which is apparently kryptonite to battleships.
Well, it works in Civ.

8

Are you sure it’s the same one? I don’t mean to offend, but they do often look quite similar to one another.

9

It’s probably a destroyer or cruiser. Wikipedia says the last battleship was withdrawn from service a couple of years ago.

10

F 22

11

Let’s hope she is just stalking you, and never actaully has sex with you. That could hurt if you don’t have one hell of a lot of lube.

12

Maybe you’re being followed by the ghosts of Jutland? Or perhaps the St. Vincent-class dreadnought, HMS Vanguard, trying to get just one last cruise in…

13

Doesn’t it only go up to 10? :confused:

14

Pfft! At least it is just stalking you. A friend of mine got shot in the face by a battleship just a few months ago. Bled like a stuck pig.

15

For all we know, when one barrel was done, they’d just shift him along the turret to the next barrel. And when he got to the last one, they’d just hit carriage return… :eek: :smiley:

When they’re tired of him, they’ll just make a Tomahawk sock-puppet out of him and send him on his way.

16

rotflmao

17

Yeah, I posted way too fast.

18

If you would just hand over the Gem of Tiamat as I asked you to, that battleship would just go away. I mean, yes, I WOULD use the GoT to destroy most of Australia, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business, frankly.

19

All of those locations you’ve been are out of the way places on the edge of the pegboard, where battleships are typically hidden.

Visit more common places, like Newark or Fresno, and you should only bump into subs and destroyers there.

20

But then I’ll just have to send the monkeys. Nobody wants that, not even me. If Lob would just hand over the damn gem, everybody’s problems would be over.