Authority: Incubus, you’ll have to come with us.
Incubus: Why? What happened?
Authority: You tested positive for drugs.
Incubus: But I don’t do drugs!
Authority: We presume you’re guilty.
Incubus: There must be some mistake!
Authority: There’s a mistake, all right. Didn’t you know better than to do drugs?
Incubus: But I didn’t. I swear.
Authority: The test says you did.
Incubus: I demand another test.
Authority: Look, wise guy, that’s not our policy. If we let you do that, everybody would want a second test.
Incubus: But I’m telling you the truth!
Authority: You should have thought about that before you lied.
Incubus: This sucks.
Authority: No, it doesn’t. The students who don’t do drugs think it’s a great idea.
Incubus: But listen to me! I. Don’t. Do. Drugs.
Authority: […snickering…] Yeah. And I don’t do tyranny.
Incubus: Isn’t there anything I can do to get out of this?
Authority: […shrugging…] You give good head?
Incubus: I beg your pardon?
Authority: Are you gonna suck my dick or not?
Incubus: That’s outrageous!
Authority: Just testing to see if you’re gay.
Incubus: What!? What the fuck!?
Authority: We have another test here, too. How many fingers am I holding up?
Incubus: One. But it’s your middle one, and it’s turned with the knuckle facing me.
Authority: Congratulations! The test results indicate you’re truly fucked.
Incubus: This isn’t fair.
Authority: If you had anything to hide, you wouldn’t be worried about it.
Incubus: I hate you.
Authority: […smiling…] Like I care.