In the latest Queer Eye thread in Cafe Society, I opined that as a generally useful guideline, guys who can’t dance aren’t good in bed. In a misguided attempt to defend her husband’s honor, Javamaven1 wrote
I have had just the bloody limit with people telling me that my opinions are too general. For one thing, it’s a damned guideline, not the friggin’ Second Law of Thermodynamics, so, yes, there will be exceptions. Second, unless Javamaven1 has slept with every guy I’ve slept with, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about because she hasn’t had the experiences I’ve had. Third, the elements I find attractive in a man are very likely not the same elements she finds attractive, so who the hell is she to tell me that my criteria are wrong? She values “sensitivity, communication, and attention to your partner’s needs”, but I prefer things a little. . . rougher.
I’m glad that JustPlainBryan sexes Javamaven1 the way she wants. . . that’s great, but she, and anybody else, had better not tell me that they know my wants and preferences better than I do. I find that guys who don’t dance can’t bring it the way I like it. That’s MY bloody opinion borne from years of experience in the field–nobody else gets a vote.
Of course you’re allowed your own dating guidelines. And if you’d stated it on its own, it probably wouldn’t be much of a problem. But when you say:
in direct response to someone admitting they’re not a very good dancer, well, one doesn’t really need to understand the intricacies of the transitive property to know you just greatly insulted them.
Piffle. The post I replied to was in general terms talking about people who can’t dance, not in any way referring specifically to JustPlainBryan, who I’m sure is a tiger in the sack.
And how would you knwo? Have ypou slept with the same guys I’ve sleot with? For all I know, your history may find that dancing ability has no relation to doing the nasty, but that’s your experience. This is mine.
A. I don’t take home anybody anymore because I’ve been monogamously partnered for the last two years.
B. I’m actually not into well-endowed guys because more than a mouthful is wasted.
C. As far as I can tell, shoe size has no relation to dick size. I’ve been with men of every size and shape and I’ve never found any correlation.
You know… in GD I’d have been all over gobear (and not in the fun way) for that statement. But in CS, in a sentence which clearly identifies it as his opinion… I’ve got to say something I usually abhor: everyone’s entitled to an opinion, especially about something as subjective as horizontal gymnastics. If it’s his opinion that dancing ability is directly related to humping ability, I can’t see how anyone else can claim he’s wrong. It IS his opinion. He makes no claim of subjective accuracy. He’s just offering his reaction.
As a point of clarification, gobear, is it guys who can’t dance that are bad in bed, or guys who won’t dance who are bad in bed? Seems like a significant difference to me. I mean, if a guy dances like Stephen Hawking being hit by a taser, but is still happy to go out on the floor and flail about awkwardly, is there still a chance he’ll be good in the sack?
Unless gobear has some controlled, double blind studies that correlate dancing ability with sexual prowess, he’s just spouting off unproven generalizations.
No - he’s speaking as the best possible source of information. He is relating his opinion.
Now, his opinion may be based on events from which you would draw a different conclusion. That’s not relevant. He said it was his opinion. How could a controlled study possibly offer a better report on what his opinion is than his own report?
Eh. I guess I can see your point. The IMO part should probably serve as a “get out jail free” card. Although I think people sometimes take the “imo” thing a little far. Just because it’s your opinion doesn’t mean people can’t call you on how stupid they think it is.
Just thought of my Camero aversion. Every guy I’ve known that’s driven a Camero has generally been an asshole. I’ve turned down dates before upon finding out the guy drove a Camero. Too many bad Camero experiences. Make sense? Not really. Reasonable? Not hardly. My own personal bias that I’m entitled to? Yup, and I’m sticken to it.
So even though I think your dancing bias is lame (as you probably think my Camero one is) it’s your bias and you’re entitled to it.
All the people here who are harping on the “what part of ‘in my opinion’ do you not understand?” are missing my point. Of course gobear is allowed his own dating criteria, and to have his own opinion on what makes someone good in the sack. I don’t care about that. I have my own dating criteria that I’m sure lots of people wouldn’t agree with. I’m not commenting on his opinion here, at all. I’m commenting on the fact that, what he said, in the context that he said it, was pretty damn rude. gobear, you can “piffle” all you want, but the fact is, JustPlainBryan said he wasn’t a good dancer, and you responded directly to that post, quoting part of it, saying that you directly tie someone’s dancing ability to their sexual prowess. Whether or not you meant it directly as an insult to Bryan, can you at least see how it could be taken as one?
I think its entirely possible that his connection between dancing and sexual ability is entirely in his head, and its subjective validation which has caused him to make that connection.
If he were to participate in an experiment where he had to have sex with 10 men, blindfolded, rate the sex experience on a numerical scale… and then when the blindfold came off he later rated their dancing ability, he may be suprised at the results.
Hey, if someone’s willing to try to dance despite the potential of embarrassment (and if he looks adorable doing it), I’d probably do him.
See, what I fail to understand is why despite qualifying my opinion as my own subjective opinion for me, I still get attacked. I’ve got an idea, but I’ll keep it to myself for now.
Blalron
I am second to none in my devotion to skeptical inquiry, so I’d be more than happy to do my all for science.
Anamorphic, ifJustPlainBryan feels that I am insulted, be asured that any insult was completely unintentional and I apologize if I hurt his feelings.
I do NOT, however, apologize for my own subjective opinions. I never said that they were objectively true or that they would withstand statitical analysis. But it has always been a reliable test IM FUCKING O.
“Men who enjoy dancing with gobear, and that Gobear enjoys dancing with” is certainly a category where I’d expect a correlation with sexual fun. After all- enjoyment on the dance floor- or similar physical activity- is tied to sexual arousal. Just like fro somw women- if a man can’t tickle them- then that man can’t please them in bed. Not that even our OP admits that the ATTEMPT is good enough.
However- I do think that if Gobear simply thinks that their SKILLS as a dancer have something to do with their SKILLS as a lover- then, he is “IMO” full of shit.
But there should be a correlation between how much Gobear ENJOYS dancing with a partner to his enjoyment of more intimate activities- as long as we all know that 'enjoyment" does NOT equal “skill”.
Eh, as if I cared about your opinion. As I said, it’s my sex life–you don’t get a vote.
Um, if you bothered to actually READ my posts, you would have seen that I wrote, “Hey, if someone’s willing to try to dance despite the potential of embarrassment (and if he looks adorable doing it), I’d probably do him.”
But why am I “full of shit”? You and I could fuck the same person and you might find him/her immensely satisfying and I might find him (no “hers” for me) boring–and we would both be right because our respective sessions are experienced subjectively**.
