I'm getting a breast reduction

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Any of you busty girls out there can understand my misery.

I’m 5 foot 3 and 135 pounds…and I wear a FF cup. I was 12 when I started getting my bras custom made, and this boutique where these sweet little old ladies feel girls up all day and then sew you into a bra that looks like it could sail a boat. I haven’t worn a bra with less than 4 snaps in the back since. It’s ridiculous looking and dehumanizing. It has affected all aspects of my life, my self esteem, my social life, my sex life.

I have been making my own clothes and dresses for years; dresses at stores don’t fit over my boobs. If I buy a suit, I have to pray that the salesclerk does not notice I switched the suit jacket to a size 16-18 (or more, depending on the brand) to go with my size 8 skirt or pants. Then I take it to a tailor or tuck it in myself.

Some men are blatantly disrespectful – they talk to my tits, they stare. It is hard for me to believe they want to approach me because of my face, or my laugh, or my eyes – my personality! At work, the other women hate me, no matter how hard I try – and I do have to try harder to be taken seriously. I am educated, I am a single mom who works full time, independent and intelligent. But despite these qualities, when people remember me, or describe me to someone, my breasts are usually the first thing that they remember.

I have back problems as well that may or may not be caused by having large breasts – I have been diagnosed with 3 herniated discs in my lumbar spine. But in a way I am relieved about this diagnosis, however dubious ( most large breasted women with back problems suffer in the upper spine and/or neck)-- because if it were not for this my HMO would never have approved to pay for it.

So why this post? Because I am scared. I work in a hospital and am not afraid of blood and surgery and pain, but I am scared about how this will affect me emotionally and in other ways. I wonder at times if I am exaggerating the affects having large breasts have had on my life, and if so, how can I be sure that making them smaller will make everything better?

My doctor says I could probably go down to at least a DD – no joke. That sounds like heaven to me – anything smaller would not go with my body type (short, muscular, curvy, definitely not small boned).

Do you know anyone that has had a breast reduction or have you had one yourself? And men – I am especially interested in your opinions, being that so many of my problems stem from the way I think men see me.

(Ah, the internet…so brave behind this screen)

Thanks for reading, all. I want to know what you think.

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I meant to put this in MSIPS…if any of the moderators feel it would be more appropriate there by all means move it :slight_smile:

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I say go for it. Even in the hormone-induced sexual frenzy that is my 18-year-old life, I can say that anything more than DD is too much. You’re lucky you don’t have serious back problems by now. Get the surgery done. If anything you’ll at least feel a little more comfortable.

4

I haven’t had one, but it sounds like you certainly have health-related reasons for having it done. A friend of mine (who is over 40) has had 2 done, and she has been able to recover fine both times. Good luck to you.

To feel better about the other aspects, maybe you could read Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth. I’m sure you rationally know that you are worth more than your appearance.

On the positive side, when a guy notices you, you’ll know it’s for YOU, not your cup size.

5

Hi, Sweetcan. Glad to meet you, so to speak. I’m also getting brave these days, so I’ll plunge in and answer your OP. Yes, I had a breast reduction done when I was 18, just out of high school. I have good and bad to say about my experience. Are you sure you want to hear it all? Here goes nothing. Men, you might not want to read this part.

In high school they used to call me Dolly <as in Dolly Parton>. Among other less flattering names. I had severe backaches, gouges in my shoulders from the straps, and I lived in jeans and oversized men’s t-shirts. I couldn’t afford anything else that would fit me. I wore a size 44F I believe at the time, with a 28" waist. And, yes, the guys <I hesitate to call them men> were extremely rude. They thought nothing of talking to my breasts instead of looking at me, of assuming that I would ‘put out’ because I was ‘built for f***ing’ as one jerk put it. There were three notable exceptions to this, and all three of them are in my life today still; my hubby, Vestal Blue and another close friend.

I was 5’8" at the time, and weighed about 130lbs. I have had all of the same problems that you describe. So, when I discovered a lump in my breast <Mom insisted on self-exams since I turned 16, thanks, Mom> and I went to the doctor, he told me that they could do a reduction. If I wanted to. IF??? I leaped at the chance to become more normal, to wear normal clothes, nice dresses that weren’t handmade unless I wanted to.

Now, as to making them smaller, and the effect it will have on your life. For me, that was still one of the best decisions I ever made. Yes, there are scars, but I’ve seen some much worse than mine, and some much better than mine. If your SO truly loves you, it won’t matter to him in the slightest. If you don’t have an SO at the moment, you’ll know by his reaction to your new and improved breasts if he’s worth getting close to. By the way, whatever size they get you down too, you may or may not stay that size. I was for several years a 36D, then had kids. Mine grew back, though thankfully not quite as big as before. Plus, I’m carrying a few more pounds on me I wasn’t then.

I don’t know how much detail you want here. Ask me any questions you like, I’ll answer them. If you’d rather not discuss some details in this thread, email me, we’ll do it that way. Up to you, Sweetcan.

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sweetcan said:

Hmm…usually you see this in the other direction–women who contemplate breast enlargements. I personally don’t think it matters at all. Physical attributes don’t have anything to do with the person inside–and the person inside is what interests me. I don’t claim this is the majority attitude among males, however–I may well just be weird.

Having a breast-reduction may make you feel better about yourself in whatever ways (and it might be beneficial for your back). But…it will not “make everything better,” as you say–nothing works that way. It may make some things better, primarily in terms of your own self-image. The decision you have to make is whether that’s enough…and that neither I nor anyone else can really help you with. You gotta do what feels right for you.

I wish you luck with the decision, and happiness with whatever you decide.

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Yes, you are weird :slight_smile: I want to hard to think there are many other guys like you. I’m 26 and live in a big city…lemme tell ya, its slim pickins.

Yes, rationally I can belive that I am worth more than my appearance, but years of catcalls and underseved reputations wear a person down. Perhaps I am just more susceptible to the loss in self-esteem – but is this a cause or a symptom?

Purplebear…thanks so much for your post. I found myself nodding in agreement and sympathy as I read. Frankly having scars is the least of my concerns. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to look “normal” in a bikini, not like some silicone-happy bimbo. To buy pretty bras as Victoria’s Secret, not 18th century semi-corsets. To NOT wear a bra! Wow.

I know some things for sure. Anything that will help somewhat with my self-image can’t be bad. I fear what my self-image problems will arise despite this operation. And ironically, I fear that in some sick way I really like my breasts and their affect on men, even if that attention has nothing to do with ME. Does that make sense?

Thanks for the support (no pun intended) so far :slight_smile:

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Sweetcan, not being in your position, I’m not able to speak with experience, but I would say that from what you’ve said, you will feel better physically and emotionally after you have this done. So I say go for it.

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I say get it done. I’ve been considering a reduction for close to 4 years. And I’m “only” a DDD. I know how you feel about having different sizes on the top and bottom…hence why I wear two piece outfits rather than dresses anymore. The only reason I haven’t gotten the operation yet is because I know the doctor would tell me to lose weight first. So now I have THAT battle to deal with… :wink:

10

Weight lifting in high school helped me develop muscles in my back that made it easier to carry my breasts. I started at 36D at age 11, 38 F at age 15 and am now a 48 H. I will never get a breast reduction. The only reason I would have surgery on my breasts would be cancer. Breast reduction is a far more serious surgery than implants. It can have terrible side effects including nipple rejection.

Men and women can both be quiet assinine regarding my breast size. I won’t let that affect my self esteem. My husband finds my breasts beautiful and fun and that helps. Even if I did not have his support, I would not alter my breasts. I have been told by co-workers, doctors, and total strangers that I need a breast reduction. Some I have told directly to fuck off, others I ignore. Sometimes I say something that they find quite disturbing, “I can look in a mirror and I like what I see. I don’t think ‘if only I could lose weight, have better hair, have smaller breasts, etc. then I would be happy.’ I like what I see now. Can you do this?”

I know that clothes are a bitch to find at times. I made my own formals in high school. Fortunately, i found it easier to find clothes that fit as i got heavier.

There is no way to do a trial run to see how others will treat you, or how you would feel. Please consider this carefully. The people you should talk to are those who have had the surgery and no other plastic surgeries. They can tell you most how things, such as people’s attitudes, change because of this.

11

Recently, there was a documentary on the Learning Channel about an Olympic athlete that had her breasts reduced. They showed the surgery, and it was surprising to me how they can actually move the nipple without detaching it and thereby maintain its sensitivity.

The athlete was very pleased with the results.

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Sweetcan:

As a guy and not a transgendered person, I have very little in the way of advice to offer you. The best I can do is this link:

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu

I have been waiting for several weeks to give that URL out because A. It’s damned useful and B. It’s a way cool website for a lot other than breast reduction questions.

Your height and weight indicate to me that you are physically “normal” (I put that in quotes since I don’t think normal is ever an applicable concept) other than your breasts. By all means, if you’re suffering because of your breasts, and you can get something done safely and relatively pain-free, go for it!

I would, just so I don’t forget to add this in, go to a reputable plastic surgeon who is able to show you copious examples of how you should look before and after, and can show you previous patients and how they’ve fared. In this case you probably don’t want to skimp 500 bucks for someone with less experience. The more safety you can have in this area, the better.

BTW, I personally prefer smaller breasts. Less flesh=more centralized nervous system, which makes playing a lot more fun. I say this only from a neurological point of view.

Last thing: a poem I read/heard once said something to the effect of “more than a palmful, you risk spraining a thumb. More than a mouthful, you risk spraining a tongue.” So it’s not all about size, but about how you use said size. Something I think the majority of women on this board would jump to agree with!

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Well, duh! If she only had 1 done it would look all weird. :smiley:

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sweetcan said:

That’s what I was afraid of.

In all seriousness, there are plenty of guys out there who think like I do on the subject–not a majority, perhaps, but at least a significant minority. The problem is that we tend to fall on the shy, less agressive part of the spectrum–outgoing does not equal jerk, but jerk usually equals outgoing–so we’re harder to find. And you have to realize that we are also frequently the ones who wouldn’t be Hollywood leading men ourselves–we take the attidude we hope women apply to us and apply it back. I’m 36 years old, I’m overweight and underpretty, and my hair is falling out–if love is about looks, then I’m in trouble. And if it’s not about looks for me, it can’t very well be about looks to me. (Though I realize there are amazing numbers of people, both male and female, who can’t get that last part through their heads.)

Anyway, to tie this back to your OP, thinking you need a breast reduction to make yourself more attractive to guys is the wrong reason to do it. The right reason to do it is if you need it to like yourself better.

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I don’t think so. The right reason is it will physically make you more comfortable. No amount of surgery can may you happy or pleased with yourself and it is plain silly to think it will be a magic self esteem booster. Surgery is a physical answer to physical issues.

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Go for it. (get some feedback from your prospective surgeon’s previous patients, though). Your most attractive asset to us guys in general is that you LIKE your own body; if you’re at odds with it, you aren’t really going to enjoy doing the skin-candy thing with us either. Personally, speaking only for myself, I am sure I’d find you considerably more attractive after your remake. Guys’ tastes in such matters varies all across the available spectrum. (OTOH, maybe that’s not a good thing from your standpoint; you will no doubt STILL find guys addressing themselves to your cute little chest accoutrements :slight_smile: )

17

I’d have to disagree with you somewhat lee. you are correct that major surgury is not something that should be undertaken lightly, and mearly to make oneself look better. But at the same time, it is very hard to like oneself when ones body is constantly causing one pain. In this case, sweetcan has mentioned that she has had a number of back problems, and from the tone of things, I’d probably be right to say she has a constant low level ache in her back. So for her, it doesn’t sound like this is something she is considering simply because she wants guys to look about 6 inches higher when they speak to her, its just a nice benny.

Myself, I am in a slightly different camp than MysterEcks. Yes I am shallow enough that I admit to the fact that appearence to me has a bearing on things, not a huge one, but it does have a bearing. My preferences however are for small chested ladies rather than large chested ones.

18

I am 19 and have 40DDs. Fortunatly I am 5,10’ and not little. Also many men do not realize how large they are until I disrobe. My main consistance is alo mens shirts and jeans because most shirts don’t go over them either. Victoria Secret irks me everytime I go by it too!!! I can’t buy prety bras, only functional ones. And the thought of NOT wearing a bra makes me laugh. It isn’t even comfortable without one.

My SO loves them though. I insist that they are too big but he sorely disagrees with me. A breast reduction is out of the question. Once when I fancied myself a pre-med major I watched a lot of surguries on the Learning Channel. Besides the total knee replacement, the breast reduction completely horrified me. It had me clutching my breast in pain. I think it would be worthwhile to see ‘what’ they are going to do before they actually cut you up.

My ex-roommate got it done this year.the poor thing was 5,0’ and very physically fit. She looked huge though with those 36Fs of hers. She got the surgury and the scars don’t show through low cut bathingsuits or blouses. She actually looks as thin as she is. She of course had to stay in bed for 10 days after the surgury and the breeze of air over her breasts was excrutiating. She was healed almost completely in 2 months and all she had was a ‘t’ shaped scar under each breast.

In cases like hers and your I definitly think the pros outway the cons. I would find a fabulous sugeon and make sure he is discreet in the places you want the scars. And just think, you will have the perfectly shaped breast that most woen dream of.
Oh!!!They wont sag in old age either!!! Mine already are and I’m only 19:(

19

Guy checking in.

If you’re in pain, then for God’s sake do something about it. I can’t imagine what it would be like carrying so much weight on my chest.

As for looks, etc. . . I’d be lying if I didn’t say I like smaller or mid-size breasts, but I’d drop that in a minute if I found a nice, intelligent person I could TALK to.
– Sylence

20

I guess I am among the minority of men who do not go for women based on the fact that they are DD in stead of B . . . I also don’t go for the rail-like women. Laura Flynn Boyle, Calista etc . . . all scare me. I’d rather have someone with flesh who won’t get crushed if I hug and/or pick them up :slight_smile:

Hopefully this will be of some comfort to those of you who are not rails. Gentlemen not only don’t prefer blondes, they don’t prefer rails. Sometimes they’re shy, though, which can make it seem as though they aren’t there. They are, they just are very shy and don’t assert themselves too much.