I woke up and decided to wake&bake. My gf scolded me, reminding me I was going to drink all day. I opened a Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee. Now I’m sweaty from some light chainsaw work (long story) so I’m having Famous Grouse Scotch (another long story) on the rocks.
Intoxication and chainsaws don’t mix very well…
I just wanted to offhandedly mention that.
While I agree in general with your statement, I always have a hit or two of cannabis in my system before touching a chainsaw.
Stone cold sober I’m way too wise to operate a chainsaw.
That’s cool, I mostly said it just to make the ‘offhandedly’ joke.
OMG.
Heh.
A wise man once sang…
I woke up this morning and I had myself a beer
I woke up this morning and I had myself a beer
The future’s uncertain
And the end is always near
And a darn good thing you did. Made my morning.
And another said,
And however much I booze,
There ain’t no way out
“My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily.” - Animal House
“To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems!” - The Simpsons
Don’t know how wise he was, but that lyric evinced a particular clairvoyance.
Is that the guy who said,
Show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find
The next whiskey bar
I tell you we must die
that guy?
Yes. The man who once shelved books at Powell Library at my future university. 
Scotty may have also been referencing the fact that “green” drinks (at least the likes of beer and cider) are considered “green” if they haven’t aged. They taste appalling, frankly. They’re still just as alcoholic as a properly aged beverage and if you’ve saved them for last, you don’t care about the taste anymore anyway.
So drink the tasty old stuff first, and drink the young, gross-tasting stuff last.