Just cause I feel like it. I started with orange flavored vodka at 8:00 am and told myself that it was close enough to orange juice to not matter.
I might need better reasoning for the tequila at 9:00 am.
Any suggestions?
Ummm, it’s 5 o’ clock somewhere?
No judgement, but you might want to pace yourself a bit if you don’t want to be passed out asleep by noon your time!
In the spirit (heh) of a good drunk, I suggest you follow Scotty’s implicit advice in an old Star Trek: Simply drink everything you own. Saving the greenest one for last.
More seriously …
Vodka at 0800 & tequila at 0900 portends one hellacious late tonight & tomorrow. I suggest you avoid full-bore alcohol poisoning. Good luck with that.
Flavored vodka at 8am? My only suggestions would be to go with regular vodka, and make no plans for later today. Good luck with tomorrow!
Nothing quite like having your arm elbow deep in the toilet with vomit floating all around your arm as you vomit past said arm.
Hey, I got an order here for a, um, hang on here lemme look…oh! Yeah a N.W. D’Espect? Yeah, a couple bottles of rum and 3 dozen coconut flavored popsicles? Hey look man, could ya please open the door and sign for this stuff before the popsicles melt?
Drink a lot of water with your alcohol. For every drink of booze, have a glass of water. Stay home, and have fun.
That sort of thing hurts too much for me the next day anymore. Though I am looking forward to making some daiquiris later.
Drinking always gives me a migraine. It’s hard to find fun in something that makes you hurt.
That said, keep your migraine medication handy. Also plenty of puke bags.
Newspapers used to be put in neat little plastic bags during inclement weather. I used to save them, because you always need plastic bags for something, right?
One day, I had a powerful need to barf, so I grabbed one of those cute little bags…
And I found out some of them are not an actual bag, but an open-ended sleeve.
So I was cleaning up puke from the carpet.
Moral of the story: make sure your puke bags do not have holes in the bottom!
~VOW
Anybody think maybe not_what_you_d_expect will take a nap this afternoon? Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I disagree with that. Drink up some pretty good stuff, then move on to the low-priced torpedo fuel and go whole hog with the cheap stuff. By the time you are ready for the Blue Label, you will be passed out or too fucked up to find it. Save the good stuff for when you can truly appreciate it.
For sure that’s the smart way to drink. Despite almost 50 years of occasional practice I’m pretty sure there’s no smart way to get drunk.
I was simply quoting Scotty’s approach and figuring by the 23rd century or whenever the Scots would’ve learned a few more things about the optimal sequence. Besides … if the last thing you drink is dark green you’ll have especially pretty and (ref @VOW carpet-staining) vomit.
ETA: I wonder if your interpreted my “greenest” as “most expensive”? I meant color not price.
Well you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
Enjoy the ride.
Don’t make a habit of it.
Well, there is that green stuff that used to be not so much expensive as basically unobtainable. (Liquid Unobtanium?j
“I poured it over a sugar cube and got so messed up I thought I was seeing space aliens”
“Those were space aliens”
@eschereal just above …
Absinthe. I had a friend who got all into that about 15 years ago. Did not end well for him. One taste was enough for me, and the modern stuff by that name is not nearly as toxic as the stuff from the e.g. late 1800s - early 1900s.
Well damn. I’ve never looked at it that way. But by golly, you’re right! And said so neatly too.
The question should not be “will I get drunk today?”, but rather “why should I not get drunk today?”
The only reason not to get drunk today is if today is Tuesday. Don’t get drunk on Tuesday.
Well, I’m already done with my hangover and everything.
Wasn’t really much fun, but oh well.
Hope you’re feeling better.
A random ad popped up earlier advertising a sweatshirt with the following printed on it:
Because it’s 2020, our A/C decided to die on Friday night. To cool off earlier today, I put vodka in the freezer and made limoncello martinis. 
I only drink on days ending in Y.
I think the question should be “What time do I get drunk today?”