Yeah well at least they would wash my hair first. They wash their food before eating. Or so my raccoon book said.
Really? Hmmmmmm…
::rubs wrappers in hair and lays out bottle of Fructis shampoo::
I’ll see you later. 
Fear not, you’re OK.
We had a Chinese woman friend and a bunch of us went to her apartment one day to eat steam buns and practice some folk dancing.
The steam buns were great and I dived in up to my elbows. As I was eating my third one I finally looked up and noticed someone peeling something off the bottom of theirs.
It seems that they were cooked on waxed paper doodads and I had eaten mine waxed paper and all.
I’ve done that! Recently, too!
Zombie raccoons!
The aliens are on to that trick. FB was trying to fool them by lining the inside of her skull with foil. Ha. Stupid aliens.
I swear I had nothing to do with this post! :eek:
Do bear in mind that they wash their food by dragging it down to the river and bashing it on rocks…
I, myself, have been known to put the coffee grounds into my cup, the Equal into the french press, and forget to put water into the kettle, then stand there, staring at the kettle, wondering why it wasn’t whistling…
but that’s just morning.
Now that’s a bit boastful of you to assume that you have cornered the AAAHH! Zombie _______!!! market isn’t it?
Now stop eating my brains, I don’t care that they now taste of chocolate, Fructis and Raccoon imbedded rocks.
Sorry, ricky-tick-tick, but that delicacy ran out a while back. 
harmless, how do you get a cat in the refrigerator without noticing?
P.S. http://www.bush-zombiereagan.com/
Without me noticing, or the cat noticing?
Ever done something really bizarre/stupid/crazy and you knew you were doing it but failed to stop anyway?
I have several incidents to speak of, but the one that immediately springs to mind is this one:
I was making myself a can of ever-so-healthy corn beef hash and I had adopted my wifes manner of opening the can. That is to say I used the electric can opener to open both ends of the can (I’d also leave the metal tops in, to prevent a mess), so that I could push the top down-forcing the congealed hash out through the bottom and onto the frying pan. In any event, I had opened both ends and I turned so that my front was no longer near the counter, but facing the stove-which was several feet away.
Now for the life of me I have no idea what possessed me to do this, but I started to push the hash out of the can. It landed on the floor and made a mess everywhere. I suppose I was spaced out or something because while I knew what I was doing, my brain didn’t seem to jump ahead and say “wait, this is wrong!”. After the hash hit the floor and I had a moment to think to myself ‘WTF am I doing?’ I picked up the hash, baffled at what had just transpired.
Am I odd, or does anyone have anything remotely similar to such an experience? 
Depends, did you eat it anyways?
Are you a believer in the 3 second rule?
Either way, yes. 
In a panic fit, I dropped the hand mixer into the pot of mashed potatoes while it was still going.
In my defense, my sister had just set my kitchen on fire.
Ah, holidays.
As someone who has created his fair share of catsicles, I can tell you that question is incorrect. It’s not “how do you get a cat in the refrigerator without noticing”, it’s “how does a cat get in the refrigerator without you noticing”.
And the answer is “very easily”. 
All it takes is two seconds of that door being opened while you have your back turned (placing the milk on the counter or some such). As long as the shelves are reasonably full (thus blocking your view), they can easily hop in and start inspecting the bottom shelf.
Fortunately, each time it’s happened, someone else needed to get something out of the fridge no more than an hour or so later.
Still enough time to make for one frosty kitty (you’d think they would learn…but noooo… :smack: )
Exactly as Hal says.
Now, for the other way, first give the cat some Baileys…
What?
flamingbananas …
Now that we’ve established you’re bananas, I have to ask: Are you flaming? And is your name, IRL, “Foster”?
Foster?
Well, I did eat some of it-the hash that wasn’t directly touching the floor. It took some effort to scoop out the useful hash though.
I thought it was “Rhyder”…