I now have in my office a bit that was reclaimed from an ancient cubicle wall. It’s a steel pipe, around 1/4" steel rolled into a 1.5" diameter hollow rod around 5’ long.
According to HR, I am legally allowed to poke users with it. (caution, my HR department may be making rulings based on humor rather than actual case law.)
“Poke” is a word that carries a very wide range of interpretation, some of which are not likely intended by someone of demure propriety, such as yourself.
Back in '09, when I was working tech support at a college, we had the most terrible malware infection going around. It was the same thing, being spread via FB, Twitter and MSN and it was so damn obvious. And they all had netbooks as well, which makes it even worse. At least two to three hundred students per week would stop by and DEMAND! that we rid them of this technomagical nuisance.
At the end of the third week, my boss hung up a notice stating:
Any further infected netbooks delivered to the helpdesk whose owner contracted the infection while looking at porn on the school’s wireless, will be quietly taken to the back and put into the “Skeet shooting targets” bin.
Our screwdriver toolbox has now been renamed. Henceforth, it shall be known as the User Correctional Appliances Depository.