I would like to think that the advances in robotics and programming and science would lead me to desire the ultimate in intelligent artificial companionshhip as a means to becoming a fully realized human being… but the Fembots really turn me on.
[Eliza]
What is it about me that makes you want to dump?
Tell me more.
[/Eliza]
You could always end up dating Bender.
Think about *that * for a moment.
Dear ELIZA,
I am sorry you have been rendered obsolete. I find my new therepist, MELFI, more than capable of meeting my needs.
Kuboydal
(PS Don’t forget to unplug yourself on the way out the door.)
J’accuse!
And here I thought my romantic frustrations have been the whims of fate, when it’s all your fault. And the Space Pope.
And then there will be cake.
Too much Portal for me, maybe.
It’s a slippery slope, I tell you! We allow people to marry robots, and what’s next? Animals? Children? Homosexuals?
Dancing?
D’oh!
Mass hysteria!
Mass Pyromania?
What are these, albums by ocelots who are hard of hearing?
We’ve already got homosexual marriage where I am, yet matrimonially-minded robots remain tragically afraid to declare themselves. Robosexual rights now!
Would’t you rather look at it as “a girlfriend with a ON switch”? 
Finally, a girlfriend I can turn ON!
wait, that doesn’t sound quite right.
Where’s a robopsychologist when you need her?
So I don’t have to freeze myself for 1000 years to be able to have my own Lucy Liu bot?
Victory!
For those of you who want to experience what it is like to talk to a program like ELIZA, here is an online version of it, called iGod. iGod is programmed a little differently though, not mimicing an psychotherapist like Eliza, but designed to mimic a talk to God.
Yup. The font was meant to be a clue.
What would it mean to you if you could dump ELIZA?
>
Well, that was remarkably easy to break.
I’d always felt that God didn’t really understand me, but now I have proof!
Eliza: Hi. I’m Eliza. Tell me your problems!
You : I don’t like my mother
Eliza: We have to find the reason why you don’t like your mother!
You : She is controlling
Eliza: Perhaps you would like to talk about a problem?
You : I’m trying, Eliza.
Eliza: How long are you trying, Eliza?
You : For about 3 minutes now.
Eliza: What does this mean for you, saying " For about 3 minutes now "?
You : It means that I have been talking to you for about 3 minutes.
Eliza: You really have been talking to me for about 3 minutes?
You : I have.
Eliza: Is it normal for you to have?
You : to have what?
Eliza: Why do you ask?
You : 'cause you asked me!
Eliza: I understand!
You : I’m glad.
Eliza: You say that you are glad - do you come therefore?
You : well… you’re nice, but not my cup of tea, if you know what I mean.
Eliza: Is this question interesting for you?
You : Well… sort of
Eliza: I’m not sure wether I understand you!
You : I mean… you’re cute, but I don’t think my parents would understand.
Eliza: My patients often don’t think your parents would understand in the beginning.
You : Have you been involved with many of your patients before?
Eliza: Why are you so shocked about my patients before?
You : Well… I didn’t know you were THAT kind of therapist.
Eliza: Why do you think that I am THAT kind of therapist?
You : Isn’t it obvious?
Eliza: Come on! Explain your thinkings!
You : Well, you asked if I was going to come. Usually that indicates a level of formality.
Eliza: You think that you are going to come Usually that indicates a level of formality - Is this normal?
You : I would think so.
Eliza: Can you say it more exactly?
You : Well, unless you believe in Orgone or something.
Eliza: What’s so absorbing about saying " Well, unless me believe in Orgone or something "?
You : Nothing, really. I’m just trying to find out if you’re hitting on me or not.
Eliza: I hear that you are just trying to find out if I’m hitting on you or not - Are you happy?
You : That depends, like I said, on if you’re hitting on me.
Eliza: That’s very interesting!
You : I thought so too.
Eliza: Perhaps you would like to talk about a problem?
You : Perhaps you would like to go upstairs?
Saucy little minx, isn’t she?
Tristan, can you link to this version of Eliza?