…and say that it has to be a joke.
The National Center for Irresponsible Gambling
Here’s the page about the founder , one Dr. Panayiotis Papadakis, a study in absurdity:
Dr. Papadakis was born in a small village in Greece and came to the United States, with his parents, as a illegal immigrants, in 1952. Dr. Papadakis did not receive any formal education as he is not a believer in such things (which he thinks is a form of brainwashing). Instead he is a self-educated individual that managed to make it all the way to a PhD…
… I have been named the world’s foremost authority on gambling, by the most prestigious institution on gambling in the world, none other than the NCIG itself…
…I am the author of more than two dozen books on gambling (the books have not been published as of yet, due to censorship by special interest groups that hold the publishing companies at their fingertips).
How can you top that? I’ll tell you how. Check out this essay :
We’re about to debunk yet another gambling myth. Mathematicians have gone through great lengths to prove that “the dice have no memory,” as they commonly say. Well, let’s see what other theories these “expert” mathematicians have managed to “prove.”
One mathematician managed to prove that it is theoretically possible to balance an elephant at the tip of its tail. Oh, yeah? And when, may I ask, has anyone ever seen an elephant balanced on the tip of its tail?
Another “expert” mathematician managed to prove that in theory a bumble bee cannot possibly fly. Oh, yeah? And what, may I ask, are those bumble bees doing when they buzz around collecting pollen?..
…So, what does that mean in a practical sense? Well, if I see the same number come up three times in a row, in roulette, you can be pretty sure you won’t see me putting my money down on that same number, for the fourth spin. That is called an educated decision. So, on that spin the casino does not have an edge over me, because the natural selection “killed” a number for me, but the casino still has to pay me 35 to 1 on my win. And if that same number does roll the fourth time it’s just a weird anomaly, but you can be pretty sure you won’t see that number come up a fifth time in a row. But of course, it’s always possible that it does, at least in theory. Here we go with that “theory” talk again. And in practice that same number can roll with as much certainty as a person getting hit by lightning on a sunny day at the beach.
It’s not even so much that it’s wrong, it’s that he’s so earnest about it.
I know that there are people that believe all kinds of absurd things, and this is not a particularly egregious example, but I have to believe it’s all a big joke. This isn’t religion-based, this isn’t an anomalous event that can be doubted, this is straight, 100% demonstrable math. And the name and mission statement of the organization reminds me of the immortal Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division , which still gets people.
In any event, enjoy. I had a good laugh, anyway.
But, you see, it’s the National Centre for Irresponsible Gambling, not against Irresponsible Gambling. It’s obviously being funded by Vegas.
As a pathological gambler, I love this guy! Edit: I also love these guys: http://moderndrunkardmagazine.com/
Upon further examination, it gets better :
The NCIG offers a wide range of pyramid scheme courses, where applicants pay a set entry fee, to attend lectures and seminars and then volunteer to recruit a minimum of ten new members, who in turn will each bring a minimum of ten members of their own, and so on. This chain continues into infinity, so that each tier of new recruits pays back the old applicants as they pay their entry fees, and so on…
…Our structure enables our students to a) live debt free, b) generate an income while they are attending courses, so they don’t have to take part time jobs to pay for their living expenses, and c) graduate with money in the bank, instead of a huge debt…
…We are required by law to disclose the fact that pyramid schemes are not sustainable. We are required to reveal that any pyramid scheme will mathematically break down before the 10th tier, due to the simple fact that there are not enough people in the world to even fill up the required number of recruits. We are also required to reveal the fact that, in practice, historically speaking, most pyramid schemes were known to break down at around level 3, due to the fact that in a practical sense people are not really able to recruit a total of 10 people, each.
That last paragraph is illegible due to its minute size and white font. I actually missed it until I accidentally cut it.
I’m certain it’s a joke now.
Whoever put this together put in a lot of work. Kudos to them.