I’ve run about a dozen marathons. Last year I ran a 50 miler. I’m doing it again in November. I turn 40 next August, so I’ve decided to run 100 mile race before than. I’ve settled on the Old Dominion 100 miler in June.
Some days I get up really early and go for runs of 15-30 miles, just because.
I’m not really sure why I’m doing this. I’m not a natural runner. I’m not built like a runner. I’m too big in the upper body for it. I’m balding and middle-aged. It’s kind of pointless.
I’ve kind of noticed that most people who get really serious about ultramarathons are pretty fucked in the head. I guess the running helps me get through and deal with all that worms in the brain mental stuff we all put ourselves through. Some people watch TV and drink beer. There’s a thing that happened to me a long time ago that makes me sad and bothers me sometimes. I suppose we all have such things and we get over them, or we don’t and we carry them with us and we deal with them. Sometimes they cripple us, sometimes we fight them and overcome them, sometimes they drive us to do things. I’m really not sure what my reaction is other than to run, and I’m not sure it really means anything in relation to anything, but to me the running provides a comfort unto itself, a place where I see and feel truth. There isn’t a shortcut, no bullshit, no rhetoric, no easy way outs. You either do it or you don’t.
On really really long runs, when I’m by myself I will sometimes have waking dreams or mild to extreme hallucinations, or vivid fantasies. Call them what you will. It’s interesting what your mind and body does in extremis to get through it.
As Jim Morrison says, nobody here gets out alive, and the only real fact of life is that we’re going to suffer some. We are in an age and a society that tries to hide that fact, that thinks of it as an obscenity. We medicate our way through the mildest pain. Our most common maladies occur from too much comfort. We hid those suffering in Hospitals or nursing homes.
I think that a deliberate acclimitization to suffering is a good thing. When the real thing comes it won’t be a stranger.
So anyway, I’m going to run 100 miles next June.
This can be one of those “ask the…” threads, or it can just drop off the page.
I felt the urge though to announce my intentions, foolish and meaningless as they may be and attempt to justify them.