Uncle Sam is hiring. Excitement, travel to exotic lands, free medical care, 30 days vacation per year. And they’ll let you sleep to 10 if you’re not a morning person, well, maybe not quite 10.
Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m not a “paperboy person”–I’m papergirl and am, as implied, a female.
If you were desperate, you’d already have a shitty job or two and be figuring this out on your own. I work my ass off–as do many people here–making okay money at an okay job to AVOID being desperate. Some money is better than no money, and you CAN make SOME money by getting a regular old working-Joe job.
I find it a bit odd that someone hired a 21 year old to manage an apartment complex. Is he perhaps related to the owners? In my building, the manager is quite a bit older than that, but the maintenance staff looks quite young.
Most of the first jobs I had I got through personal connections. (My father was a college professor and one of his students was a restaurant manager.) Another job, working as a file clerk in an insurance company office for the summer, I got through a friend from high school, who worked there full time. A third job I got through a temp agency.
So I recommend that you talk to your parents, other family members and friends to see if any of them know of a place that’s hiring, or might need someone even if they’re not specifically looking. And you might not get a full-time job right off the bat. You might start with a part-time job and then transition to full time at the same company. It helps if you’re flexible, and take whatever shifts they need to fill.
Send jpgs, then we’ll talk.
Just curious -
Am I the only one who equates this OP to the ‘Sovereign Citizen’/FotL’ nonsense?
They believe there are magic word that can make all their legal/tax problems go away.
OP seems to think there are some magic ‘tricks’ to making money/finding a good job.
The part about ignoring everything that is not some kind of ‘magic’ (i.e. network, move, do what is offered and do it well) just intensifies the sense of being certain that there is a magic trick, but we are not willing to tell him.
He is just a kid having fun. His threads are fun to read. 
Commissioned sales. Work straight commission no salary, eat what you kill and make a ton of money if you are willing to hustle. Pick something you like and learn to sell it. The market for full time commission sales people is always good.
OP, post this rant on reddit. They eat this shit right up.
Honestly your best bet based on what you are looking for is probably a collections agent position. I got duped into that once and it was soul sucking. I used to cry in my car before work every day. But that was 10 years ago and it paid $12 an hour and they highly encouraged being a dickbag to people, so you might find it refreshingly pleasant to go into work and know that you get to berate people and yell at them and end up with a paycheck for it. Kind of like working for a BDSM dungeon, only on the phone.
Seriously though, if you can segment your brain into work and nonwork sections and not think about work while you are at home you will probably find collections pays better than anything else you are qualified for and could potentially be a stepping stone into other call center or phone work. Still won’t be emotionally fulfilling but it will be a hell of a lot better than McDonalds.
More information about you is needed to answer this.
Your appearance, for instance. Got all your visible teeth? Any face or neck tattoos? Are you tall or short? Fat or thin? Do you work out or at least look like you might? Do people think you’re attractive?
What about your education level?
Are you quick at picking up skills? Charming? Strong? Can you talk people into doing or buying things?
What do you have to offer an employer? Your low standards are good, but what else have you got?
Oh, and what kind of moral standards do you have?
Some people make good money carpet cleaning, even as employees of a company, if they hustle. My wife and I clean houses and do well enough for ourselves, but we’re also very good at what we do and it took years to get to that level. Still, you can make some money hustling if you’re willing to clean on your own independently, and it doesn’t have to be as involved as house cleaning, you could clean apartments upon move-out or foreclosures and the like. Get yourself out there and start painting by working on a paint crew, learning, and then go out on your own if you’re a hustler. Start washing and waxing cars for large office complexes while they work as a mobile service, and work on your skills to eventually offer full detailing services. Get a pressure washer and wash parking lots and concrete for restaurants. Spend a few bucks on a bucket, scrubber, squeege (one large and one small), an extension pole, and some dish soap and go wash windows for restaurants, then get into residential as well.
All of the above are things I do and/or have done. None took a great amount of investment and I learned them all myself, with my wife working with me. They did take a great deal of hard work and hustle, but that’s life if you want something. Like I mentioned above, in some cases you could even take a job doing those things to learn and get paid decent as you go.
This. Exactly this! ^ Stop your whining and get off your ass and look for work. By the way, you mentioned bartending, it is not an easy job by far. Most work long hard hours. I did it in 1986 - in New Orleans - on Bourbon St. I made good money and it sucked.
My kid is 19 years old, lives on his own in a tiny studio apartment, works for Starbucks making just over min. wage and is supporting himself. He works 30-35/wk. And lives 2 hours South of Portland, OR.
Nothing is easy - you have a lot to learn. Good luck.
I agree except high level bartending can be one of the most lucrative lower skilled jobs you can have if you live in a tourism heavy area. However, I agree that it certainly not easy by any standard especially during peak periods. My standard was to make, serve, charge and deliver three drinks per minute while keeping a smile on my face and trying to hear what people actually wanted over incredibly loud background noise. It was like playing the world’s worst real-life video game during peak periods.
As long as you did reasonably well, the pay was exceptional just because of the constant stream of tips. Slower periods were much more fun but did not pay nearly as well so you have to pick your poison. I never bartended on Bourbon Street although my roommate was the head bouncer at the Tropical Isle and even made good money that way.
I worked at the Columns Hotel in the Garden District and the crowd control requirements were not worth the money during the Mardi Gras season. We had tactical plans on how to bounce people suddenly and forcefully just using hand signals. It came up hourly during that time even in that elegant setting. Me and my coworkers once had to pick up the chair of a 60+ year old woman and carry her to the corner of St. Charles avenue because she was so drunk and out of control like the Queen that she believed she was at the time. I can’t even imagine what it what be like to be a bartender on Bourbon Street any time but especially during the Mardi Gras season.
That is the true big leagues.
Maybe I’m the one making assumptions here, but I would have guessed our OP is a primate too.
To get a job fast, apply for jobs that most people avoid even though they may pay better than most entry-level jobs. Consider jobs that are revolting like garbage truck driver or janitor, or jobs that are relatively dangerous such as lumberjack or taxi driver.
Why don’t you go live with your rich friends in Portland? Take a sleeping bag and get on a janitorial staff there?
I can see it happening, depending on the property. In my early 20s I was hired to manage a property, but I was also their only employee and it was a condo property, so there weren’t any rental hassles to deal with or maintenance inside the homes. Even then I had several years working experience doing property maintenance plus a year of school, and I STILL felt like it was a damn lucky job to scoop up. It was hard work, too. Jobs at locations like that where it isn’t some corporation hiring you can be easier to get if you’re charismatic and good at selling yourself.
He thinks his friend has found some easy-money job but it really really isn’t easy, if you’re truly doing the job.
There are always jobs for people with particular talents. Like the sales jobs mentioned before. No salary, all commission, and you can be making huge amounts of money for nothing more than schmoozing and socializing and chatting with people all day, figure out their hopes and dreams and selling that to them. It doesn’t have to be Glenn Gary Glenn Ross, lots of sales guys are perfectly ethical, they figure they’ll make a lot more money figuring out what people actually need and helping them get it than by tricking them into buying crap.
But, you have to be a very particular sort of person to thrive in a sales job. It is not a job I could do in a million years. Are you the kind of person who, when you got a bad grade on a paper, would go have a friendly chat with the teacher and after ten minutes convince them that you really deserved another 10 points? Me, I’d rather take the bad grade.
You have to take a good look at yourself, and take a good look at the people around you. What can you do better than most people? What sorts of things can you tolerate, that most other people can’t stand? Some people hate talking on the phone to strangers, some people hate enclosed spaces, some people hate loud noises, some people hate vermin, some people hate dirt, some people hate heights. Ever notice anything like that where most people hate it but you shrug it off? If you have no fear of heights you can get all sorts of work trimming trees and washing windows and hanging off stuff. If you don’t mind filth, you get work as a plumber or trash guy. If you don’t mind cold-calling strangers, there are all sorts of jobs for you. If you liked doing math problems you can add numbers all day long as a bookkeeper. And so on.
Obviously you don’t have any particular job training or experience yet, so you have to look at what sorts of work are available that would best match with what you’re able to provide.
Not sure how relevant some of these questions are, but let’s go.
Got a great smile. White teeth. All visible. No tattoos. Average. About 5’9. Thin. I look like a skinny kid, but not a twig. I’m not sure if people find me attractive. Some people do and some people really don’t.
Highschool education only. I’m decent at picking up skills. Semi-charming. Semi-strong. I MAY be able to talk people into doing things they wouldn’t normally or wouldn’t normally want to buy.
I have to offer, open availability, including night shift. Just need tons of hours.
I have fairly low moral standards.
nice try, scooterboy person. 
that’s the thing; “high level” bartending is a lot about being entertaining and personable. not something everyone can do, so you have to be good at it to make decent money.