I'm just venting

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is mostly me venting. I had typed it in MS word just to get it out of my system, but I guess I have a need to seek advice on it from others. I’m sure any current military members on the forums or retirees will kind of know how I feel. The truth is, I think I’ve reached a point in the army where I’ve had enough. I don’t hate the army, and I understand how things work in reality, but its been 20 years. What occurred in this post is only a smidgen of an overall frustration thats been building for me. Hell, I might wake up tomorrow and shrug it off. With that being said, here is my long rant/vent:

I honestly don’t know if I can do this anymore. Its becoming apparent to me that I need a change, because I’m not happy here and I don’t see it changing if I “stay the course”. Let me explain.

I have 20 years of active military service. For the most part they were good. The 4 and half years I spent as a recruiter sucked monkey nuts, but overall it wasn’t all that bad. I was in Germany a year ago for the 3rd time and I planned on extending my tour a year so I could begin retirement there, but I was reassigned to Bragg. Fine, at least I’ll be somewhere that needs me. The problem is they don’t need me that badly, and with my 46th birthday creeping up fast I’m feeling a little too old for this stuff. I’ve never rode sick call or pussed out of grueling stuff that no one wants to do, but I’m getting tired of it. Its great to be in shape, but really, getting up at 5 AM five days a week for PT is getting old. Still, that’s only part of the problem.

I was on leave for a family emergency back home a week ago. When I got back we had a lot of work to do and it was 24 hrs. I offered to do the night shift to give the soldier in my office that was doing it a break from it. As soon as I finished my 12 hr shift and was about to crawl into bed I get a call……the unit had gone to the range while I was on leave and the residue (fired shells) has to be turned in. There can only be 4 people on the units roster that can acquire or turn in ammunition and I’m one of them. The person that drew the ammo was on convalescent leave, one guy moaned his way out of it (even though he worked days) and the other guy for whatever reason wasn’t considered. So I had to get back into uniform and go pick up the needed paperwork to turn in ammo residue. Then I had to get the people that had to sign the paperwork to sign it. Then I had to secure a vehicle to turn drive. This was in prep for the next day because I wasn’t going to get to the Ammo point that day.

So after another night shift I get an hour or so to drink some coffee and then turn in the residue, which got me home and in bed around 2 pm. So for two shifts I had about 3 hours sleep. Great. Its not the lack of sleep that annoyed me though. Its because the residue was in our arms room*** for a week!*** The day I turned it in was the absolute last day it could be turned in without the battalion commander’s signature. WTF? No one thought to take care of this for a week?

Yesterday at 1800 (6PM) one of the platoon sergeants asks me if I’ll assist SGT X in picking up ammo for a range that is happening the day after. I agree to do so cuz I’m a team player, even though I don’t work for this guy. But its too late to go to the motor pool and its too late to get the needed paperwork. But we have maintenance to do the next morning at the motor pool. Fine. We can pick up the paperwork, get the vehicle while everyone is at the motor pool and get to the ammo point by 10 10:30.

No. First SGT X doesn’t show up to the motor pool until freaking 10. His supervisor was calling him and all, but hell, 10? I was there at 9 and I’m not the guy that has to get the ammo! So I scramble trying to get the things that you have to have in the vehicle in order to pick up ammo.* (1st aid kits, fire extinguishers, tie down straps, pallets, etc.)* But I don’t know what vehicle. No one seems to have thought of it, and not all of the vehicles are the same. We need one with a covered back. Well, we get one….but its 11:15 now. The motor pool guys are going to lunch at 11:30, and we won’t be able to dispatch the vehicle until 1 PM now. Then SGT X drops this bomb….he doesn’t have his ammo handler card which you NEED to draw ammo and he doesn’t have a military license with HAZMAT qualifications. Oh, he has one…but he lost it. (the HAZMAT part is a bit moot since he found it over lunch, but still) Well, I offer to sign for the fing ammo. At this point I’m the only one that can! But at a little after 1 PM we’re informed that the vehicle we had prepped was deadlined. (an army term meaning it has too many defiencies and cannot be driven. ) Huh? Didn’t they just do maintenance? Whatever. We quickly find another similar HUMVEE and move our stuff to it. Then I’m told it too is deadlined and we have to use ANOTHER vehicle, an LMTV (A big ass truck. Way bigger than we need. I always tell people LMTV stands for “Large Mother Fing Truck like Vehicle” ). Those of you not in the military may not know this, but the vehicles don’t need keys to start, but the steering wheels are usually locked with a chain to prevent theft. Well, they gave me the wrong key to unlock it. So I had to get bolt cutters to cut the lock. It also had NO FUEL which is a no-no. You don’t park a vehicle in the motor pool with NO FREAKING FUEL! What if its needed ASAP….like now? But not one to give up, I got a motor sergeant and a siphon and we pumped fuel from one vehicle to another. (I am going to kill the soldier that last drove that LMTV for not refilling it). Of course by the time we got to the ASP…which hilariously is only a TEN minute drive….it was too late. So they have to cancel the range. Which means the command staff going to the Battalion Sergeant Major and Battalion Commander to explain.

The crap from this is surely going to roll downhill and guess what….they’ll be sure to ask why I didn’t fix it. ME? I’m not even part of the platoon that was running the range, I was only there to assist. (I’m only guessing now, but I’m sure that the blame game will be played.) I am not SGT X’s supervisor (though I outrank him). But if they had told me I was to get the ammo I would have been at the motor pool at 0915 with the paperwork and signing out a vehicle. If they told me it was deadlined I would have found one that wasn’t WITH FUEL by 10 am. (especially when the commander was there in the morning, and he could have burned through any red tape and even got one from another unit if needed). But I was only there to help because I thought my fellow NCOs would have thought of the problems involved in a last minute notification of a range. (Last minute for us….SGT X’s supervisor should have told him this a week ago!..and it was on the training schedule)

I’m*** tired***. I’m tired of this kind of silliness, I’m tired of PT before roosters are awake and I’m tired of the being responsible for things that are outside of my humanly possible control. I envy anyone that has a job where they can go for 8 hrs or so and do and then go home without all of this drama and frustration. My wife thinks I should stick it out a little longer….but I’m thinking I need to drop my retirement paperwork within the next two months. I’m not getting out of Fort Bragg, I know that. I haven’t been here long enough to be reassigned and they don’t let people out of this unit easily. If I don’t come up on the promotion list this spring I’ll be in a pickle since I’m not airborne qualified…and my medical history makes airborne school unlikely. (even my military doctor says I should not go to airborne school.)They’ll pawn me off to some engineer battalion that sucks. If I do come up I’ll have to stay in about 2 more years to get the retirement pay for the new rank. I don’t think I can handle it. As I told my wife I’m sick of coming home angry and frustrated….and this battalion is a frustrating experience.

2

Well, as you know there’s jobs like that in the civilian side too. I hope whichever civilian job you get (if that’s the plan) involves competent coworkers. I’ve never had a job where every single person was responsible and competent, but in most of the jobs I’ve had the “bad apples” were known and could be avoided most of the time.

I understand that you were already planning on picking up your papers at the 20-year mark, so from here until then remember: there’s no intrawebz at Leavenworth… deep breaths… this, too shall pass… you are not physically strong enough to use that humvee as a hammer, so don’t try…

3

I know you’re right. The grass always seems greener and all of that…and as the wife has told me, I’m beating myself up over something that ultimately is not my fault.

But as I said, this is just a smidge. This kind of crap has happened way too much in this place since I’ve been here. Last minute BS that didn’t have tio be last minute, people pointing the blame and wrath at the ones who didn’t really have a part in screwing it up, and so on. You know I’m due an annual Evaluation. you know what my supervisor told me? To write it. Fuck that, that is HIS job. Sorry if it takes your time and all that, but dammit, you get paid more than I do. Write it your damned self. (while I’d agree that writing your own review sounds great, if you’ve ever had to write an NCOER you know what a bear it can be). To me its the moral part too…I’m not supposed to write it. Its…well, ridiculous.

I used to love this stuff, but now its just a vehicle for my depression. What happened today was insane. Theres no way that WE should not have been at the ASP even with the short notice by lunch time. But EVERY.
SINGLE. THING went wrong. Things that could have easily been rectified with a bit more time but especially with some foresight. (I mean, good googley goo, how does SGT X not have the crap he needs just to pick up ammo? They are 2 business sized cards easily kept in a wallet! I have mine on me all at times!) How can anyone in the company not realize wqe need a vehicle and bend over backwards to get it?

I’m done. I can’t see it going on for another year. If I dropped retirement paperwork tomorrow its still about 9 to 12 months before I’d be out, but man…I’d like to live the remainder of my life without the desire to Hulk out and kill my comrades. As I told my wife an hour ago my only reason for staying in at the moment is a paycheck, I really don’t care anymore.". Which is a shame, because a year ago I really did care. But that was before this “every man for himself” attitude that goes on here.

See, I’m venting and ranting again. In order to get it over with I need to make it to Saturday where I can stop the screaming voices in my head with sweet sweet alcohol. Right now I need to go to bed, since once again I need to be awake at freaking gawd damned 0500 in the AM.

4

mrAru did his 20 and retired. When he was on shore duty the last time he was about as frustrated as you are now, for very similar reasons.

Life is too fucking short - do not drive yourself nuts. I know it sounds counterproductive to leave the bumbling idiots in charge, but you have to ask yourself if there is anything you can possibly do at this point in your career to stop the bumbling idiots.

Then again, transitioning out is a big step … and there are just as many bumbling idiots out here too …but we dont tend to have given them stuff that goes bang …

5

Sure, there are any number of idiots on the outside too, who can make it their business to drive you nuts (especially if you are someone who can’t just half-ass things and call it good enough), but at least you can pick a job that will limit your exposure to this kind of incompetence (and limit your hours at work, period). You might be a natural at the construction safety field - good pay, good hours, significantly less bullshit.

6

Jolly Roger, first of all … thank you for everything you do. As someone who helps pay your salary, I commend you on a job well done in the face of overwhelming incompetence.

Thank you for trying to show Sgt. X what it takes to be a leader, simply by being prepared. He may not get the lesson, but perhaps, over time, he, too, will see the error of his ways.

Thank you for what you did to help prepare others for future combat situations. I realize you probably feel like a small cog in a very large machine, but I appreciate your hard work.

My neighbor’s daughter is married to a guy from Ft. Bragg who is currently overseas. Thank you for the leadership you and your wife provide to both the soldiers and their families.

I realize this isn’t much, and will certainly not deflect the amount of poop that may be sprayed your way in the subsequent reviews, but again, thank you for your service.

7

If you don’t mind my asking, how did MrAru deal with it? For me, the frustration sucks all of the enjoyment out of everything else. I realize that no matter where you work, there will be asshats, but as I’m sure you probably know from MrAru’s experience, in the military they can make things nearly unbearable.

Theres nothing I can do as you said. The wife thinks I should wait to see if I come up on the promotion list. Truth be told I almost don’t want to. First I’d have to stay in a minimum of 2 more years to get the increased retirement pay and it ain’t enough to make it worth it for me.

I know transitioning will be difficult. But I would love to go to work somewhere else without the seeminglyt random and unpleasant surprises I usually go through every week.

BobArrgh, thanks.

8

I retired from the Navy after 20 years for pretty much the same reasons. Now, I’ve been a substitute teacher for 20 years and I think this will be the last one, for pretty much the same reasons. I don’t really enjoy the work anymore. The only thing I don’t know yet is what I’m going to do for the next 20 years.