So Tommy Two-Ties, a few of his freinds (Koreans), his wife, Astrogirl, and I went out tonight and got really lit! (I’m trying hard, so please forgive any typos… I’m looking at 2 keyboards right now, and they all look the same!) After a fuzzy while we ended up in a nightclub back room with a karaeoke (how the hell do you spell that??) machine…
Since I’m the only foreigner in the room, everyone started saying “Make the whitey sing, make the whitey sing!!”
What am I, a circus act? ‘Behold: he’s white, and we trained him to SING!’:rolleyes:
But I’ve been out with Koreans before, of course, and this is what you have to deal with… so, OK… I’ll suck it up and croak out whatever song I can find as well as I can.
Heavy sigh I put on my game face, and pretend I’m really really loving this (I wasn’t!), and leaf through the book looking for a song I knew… most of the English songs are ones I never heard of, or don’t want to do (I almost went with “Happy Birthday” but SheWhoMustBeObeyed nixed that…).
Now, the pages in the songbook are organized into 2 columns, like so:
Song name–artist…Song name–artist
IE: there is limited space for the song name before it gets cut off, see?
No problem, as I’m sort of bright and can fill in the blanks… Blowin’ in the Wi= ‘Blowin’ in the wind’ No Problem! I’m SMART and only the little teensyest drunk…
OK, I find a song I know: “My Way” by Sinatra… I sing.
All is well.
Several shots of JD later, I hear “Make the whitey sing!!” again… oh, crap! OK, gimme the book…:rolleyes:
Double crap… I hate singing in these places… my voice is SO not good!
I leaf through the book, pausing for yet anoither shot, looking for English songs… (My Korean reading is WAY too slow to do a Korean song.)
Suddenly, I spot the name “Elvis” in the ‘artist’ column… “Cool!” I think, “I can do Elvis! Which song is it?”
*Time for another shot! Yeah, yeah, I love you too! If I were to ever renounce my heterosexuality, dude, you’f be the one!*:rolleyes:
My eyes wander, via a most circutuous route, to the song name column… the song name is:
You ain’t nothing but a ho!!!
I collapsed on the floor in horrendous spasms of laughter (which I would describe better if I were capable of spelling better now…). Everyone else was concerned: ‘Is he having a heart attack? An anyurism (sp[elling bites!!! I hate spelling!!)’
TTT came over to see if I was OK… I couldn’t talk, so I just pointed. (Out of the 10 or so people in the room, only TTT would understand… he grew up in the US.)
TTT came, saw, and also collapsed!
So now we have a room filled with Koreans, all standing and staring at me and TTT rolling around the floor amidst the spilled beer and cigarette butts laughing, and none of them know why!
In the taxi, on the way home, Astrogirl asked me “WTF was THAT all about??” All I could say was, “Ask me tomorrowe, and I’ll try to explain…”
“You ain’t nothing but a ho!”
I love it!!!