Careful, Scylla, this is exactly what happened to Otzi. :eek:
Don’t go to sleep.
The clowns will eat you.
:eek:
<<knock, knock, knock>>
(Gasp!) Who is it?!!
…
…
…
Candygram.
Landshark…
when you remember to get the litres of diet coke, don’t forget the mentos. enjoy them in the kitchen. that’ll teach the women folk to leave you home alone.
Dude, your wife’s a martial artist, and there isn’t enough meat on children. You always were the easy meat.
Poor thing. No wonder DH is always relieved when I come home from being gone somewhere…doesn’t know how to clean house or cook for himself anymore :D!
Good luck figuring out the household appliances!!!
Great OP.
As a 32 year old bachelor myself I feel for you. Females get taught the useful stuff when young cooking cleaning etc. I just played with Action Man (UK version of GI Joe) and my toy cars. My sister cooks fine meals and has an immaculately tidy flat. I live in a dump and eat takeouts.
Regarding the monsters might I respectfully suggest you simply leave all the lights. Either that or get a teddy bear. They always succeed in keeping the monsters away. Belt and braces approach is Teddy Bear and Lights on.
[little girl from Jurrassic Park]
Wheres the goat?
[/LGFJP]