I'm looking for a dark and creepy version of "Teddy Bears' Picnic"

[Alka_Seltzer]

@The_Amazing_Hanna

“If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a quick demise…”

Not sure if that was serious, but the actual lyric is “big suprise”, not “quick demise”. Although I prefer your version.

It does warn us:

If you go out in the woods today,
You’d better not go alone.
It’s lovely out in the woods today,
But safer to stay at home.

Seems that there is a chance of death by rapacious teddy bear, but it’s by no means a certainty.