Where does etiquette authority come from? The fact that the moral exemplars of Yelp, who suggest that cell phone blockers are justified in movie theatres because they, you know, paid $25 for the tickets, shows that enough people expect that people will slide over that they get asked this lots of times. It might lead one to believe that this sort of thing is expected. Crazy, right? It’s sure easier to conclude that the world is full of rude assholes rather than think of oneself as possibly out of step with the rest of mankind.
One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
Four assholes in the movie theater, ah ah ah!
Had I been a patron that witnessed the exchange being discussed in this thread I would have concluded that everyone involved was a childish assclown.
I can’t form an opinion about the OP’s situation until I learn about her views on spay/neutering, driving the speed limit in the fast lane, refilling the coffee maker after it’s empty, and circumcision.
What is amazing is that several pages in of a googlesearch I can’t find a single thing complaining about assholes who won’t move. That on a New York Yelp message board not one person disagreed with the rant - just a whole bunch of agreement and "just say no"s - hard to conclude that New York has moving seats as the understood norm based on that. All I have is Maeglin’s my post is my cite- New York is special civilized - to contradict my experience with the thoughts of my extended family and friends, and the op’s New York sense of normal expectations.
I am not sure where etiquette authority comes from. But if refusing to move was New York rude I am pretty sure I’d see some complaints on page one too, or at least by page four, and at least some New Yorkers telling the Yelp poster they were mistaken. Not exclusively people complaining about people who come late and ask others to move. My experience is that New Yorkers are about the same as I am - we would not generally think that we have a right to ask others to move and be inconvenienced in any way for our movie watching pleasure, and if asked we might be nice and do it, but maybe not. And if not we owe no explanation why - it does not matter if my germ phobia does not make sense to you, or you don’t find the person in front of that seat to be blocking the view too much while I do.
The people who think moving is normal - a couple who come in after the lights are off and then swear at someone for refusing to move and text throughout the movie - a bunch of people who are quickest to insult those who disagree with them in an IMHO thread, who drag it to The Pit, and who behave badly even by Pit standards, calling people cunts and “Trig Palin” once it is there (+1ing each other for their cleverness). And maybe one or two others.
The people who think that not moving is acceptable (even if moving might be a nice act of charity to offer) - everyone else.
What is rational to conclude?
I admire the unsocialized dogs in this thread for trying to “reclaim” the term, but you’re doing it wrong: you don’t just bizarrely start calling US unsocialized dogs… You start calling EACH OTHER that as a term of endearment.
Wow, you’re really fucking stupid, aren’t you? It doesn’t distract the audience. It distracts the performers. Whether or not some asshole stubbornly refuses to slide into the buffer seats doesn’t matter during a live show in a small room. If they don’t move, whatever, the latecomers will just have to crawl over folks in order to fit into the seats that they don’t want. If they do move, sweet, that’s nice that Jack and Jill get to sit next to each other, but the guys on stage still have look at all of this. So the guys and gals that run the show just make sure the end seats are available so you can just sit down, and they probably won’t even see you. When someone comes to a movie late, Brad Pitt doesn’t go “Hey, you guys wanna sit down already?” He can’t see you, he’s not five feet away from you. In either case, the audience isn’t affected at all by moving down a seat or not, and just having folks sit wherever. So that’s why they do this at the tiny theatre I’m talking about. Again, they even request that you not go to the bathroom until intermission. They don’t want people moving around so close to them while they’re performing.
But none of this has any bearing on whether or not you’re a dick for refusing to move over one lousy seat to that a couple can sit together. Even if the theatre didn’t have this policy, you’d still be a jerk for not moving. You’re making the “ZOMG, if you move down a seat to be nice to someone, then EVERYONE ALWAYS has to tolerate EVERYTHING all of the time in all situations” argument which is incredibly stupid. God, your mother really shouldn’t have drank so much when she was pregnant with you.
Oh my god, did you really just say this? Holy shit, you did. Okay, where have I seen this before? Whereas most normal, well-adjusted people don’t see a request to move as an affront of any kind and will happily accommodate, others feel like they’re being taken advantage of. Oh no! Hmm…
Oh god, just… You people are too much. I think we can wrap this one up now. Good day.
Amusingly enough trying hard to find some support somewhere for the moving is expected position the closest I can find is this.
And on cue the paragons of what is and is not rude exemplifying “Gallant” to the rest of our “Goofus” behaviors.
I rest my case. Good day indeed.
grabs DSeid by the arms and shakes him
Stop it man! Stop with this madcap search, blindly grappling at examples for your side, tearing pell-mell through Yelp and Yahoo and Cha Cha!
Let me tell you why this is useless. First of all, people who just absentmindedly scootch over half a foot at a polite request don’t go home and complain on the internet about it. The people who don’t scootch are the ones who get all sore about it enough to start threads. (because of, you know, the social punishment.)
But, there’s something else… you can’t keep trying to make the case the rudest people people aren’t on your side, so that means your side wins. First of all, there is the problem of trolls. There are trolls on both side of this issue. And I don’t mean posters doing it for the lulz…I mean honest to god trolls like resting and Anonymous User (Sorry, AU, I like you kid, but I gotta talk straight; mama’s making a point.) So you consider that.
But more importantly you consider a poster like me. I DON’T THINK THE OP WAS WRONG AND I HAVE MAINTAINED THAT SINCE MY FIRST POST IN IMHO. However, she DID ask for opinions, and mine was that she could have been nicer, I certainly would have moved without a second thought and I think that is what most well socially adjusted people would do. She was still well within her rights to stay. Problem is, COMEDY. Oh yes, comedy is the dark horse that you and your researchers haven’t considered. What you called rude was often just jokes. Trig Palin? Joke. Me calling someone a socialized dog? Joke. I defy you and your research team to find a single time in my entire six years here when I have called a poster a name in anger. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
You can’t do it. Because I don’t do it. We are just having fun and cracking jokes, so it is silly to say, “Oh, you are all the rude ones because you are calling names in this thread, ipso facto, you have no right to consider yourselves versed in social civility!”
Think of the SDMB for a moment…every forum is here for us to discuss topics like politics and movies and everyday ennui. We are expected to sit up straight and eat our food with our napkins in our laps. Or at least to not use our fingers.
Then you have one forum where there is a party going on…a food fight might break out. You don’t HAVE to throw your food of course, but if you DO it is silly for someone to call you out on it. And I know we didn’t start in the pit, but a lot of your crack research has been based on pit posts.
Ok? Now, stpauler, put your shoes on, we’re leaving.
I am not a troll.
Damn it, DSeid! I like you. But there is nothing wrong with trade school - or trying to develop marketable job skills. This was a piss-poor insult.
Sorry. This being the Pit, I had to bitch about something, and refusing to move over in a movie theater just doesn’t get my dander up like it used to.
In other news, this thread blows my fucking mind.
If you google for the neutral phrase “movie seating etiquette” the first page has multiple examples of moving down a seat.
This from the very first hit:
"Movie Theater Seating Etiquette and Using The Force
Once in the theater, it’s important to remember a few seating manners. If the film is a new release or is certain to be full, make an effort to not leave empty seats between yourself and the nearest party. That one buffer seat seems appropriate until it forces an usher to ask you to move down. Go ahead and take it upon yourself to squeeze in so those sitting after you don’t have to wonder if the seat is taken. If you happen to be the poor patron who is tasked with finding two seats together on a row of every-other-seats, be kind about requesting others to shift. I usually ask like this: “Excuse me. Is that seat taken? I don’t like to impose, but would you mind scooting one seat?” Then wrap that awkward conversation up with a very humble “thank you.” "
I will say I am honestly perplexed at how anyone could have gone their entire life and never seen or been part of examples of this. And I doubt it’s due to which part of the country because it’s such it’s a natural thing to do with low cost on one side of the equation and high benefit on the other side of the equation.
So simple.
And if the theater isn’t full…
Wow.
I’m glad we have a chain ArcLight Cinemas that sells you a ticket for a specific seat (computer offers you the "best available or you can choose from among those left) and doesn’t seat people once the movie has started…
IMO in a crowded theatre you move. If there are plenty of seats, the obligation is on the people seeking seating to either find something they like or talk to an usher.
Courtesy isn’t obligatory and IMO it’s a good lesson for those that think it is for it to be withheld.
We get it, you don’t want to shift over 1 seat.
Nobody is going to arrest you.
Most people will think you are an asshole.
And in my opinion, most people will think you’re an asshole if you ask someone to move when the theater isn’t full.
Esp when showing up late and movie is already in progress.
Yes, but you would be in the clear minority with that opinion. Most people I know would move without someone needing to ask them. I’ve even moved in advance of anyone asking because I can see how full it is and it’s just the right thing to do.
If the only seats are in the first 5 rows then that is what is meant by “full”. For most people the first 5 rows are not an enjoyable experience.
Even in the case of the OP this is clearly true by the fact that everyone had chosen to sit in seats anywhere except for the first 5 rows.
Even the people in the 6th row that could have had more space to themselves chose not to move to the 5th row because it was just that much worse than the 6th row.
I don’t know why you think I would be in the minority. I don’t think so. We can’t know which of us is right. And she never said every single seat other than the first five rows were taken.
If you were right and the majority of the people didn’t think shifting over a seat is the right thing to do when only crappy or no seats are left, then surely we would find multiple examples of “movie etiquette” that say “it is rude to ask someone to shift over a seat if there are any seats still remaining”.
But guess what? We don’t see that in the movie etiquette guides, we see the opposite.
We even see them saying you should go so far as to take care of this problem in advance by minimizing those lone seats.