Sunday night the spouse and I went to see Harry Potter again. Because it’s been out for awhile, they had moved it from the big double-door auditorium into what I call the “living room with a big screen TV”–you know, the smaller auditorium with maybe a couple of hundred seats. We got there early because we always get to movies early: our favorite seats are in the center of the middle row (the way the theater is laid out, it’s actually the front row of the back section–there’s a railing, three disabled seats in front of those, then a wide walkway and the front bank of seats. We like these seats because they’re far enough back not to be too close, up high enough that nobody can sit in front of us (the disabled seats in front are down at ground level, so even a basketball player wouldn’t be able to block the view) and they have the railing so we can rest our feet on it.
Okay, scene set. So we’re sitting there. More people arrive–one couple sits down next to me with one “buffer seat” between. Another couple sits down next to the spouse, with a buffer seat between. This leaves about four seats on either side of the row empty. Another couple arrives and sits down with a buffer seat between the couple near me. Life is good.
Then, five minutes before the movie is due to start (the previews are already showing), this large party (I’d say maybe five or six people–I didn’t get a clear count) shows up. There’s a little muttering at the end of the row, and then suddenly the couple next to the spouse shifts over so they’re sitting next to us. I still see people milling around down there–it’s clear that even with the shift, there’s not enough seats for the new group. The spouse whispers to me, “You know, it wouldn’t hurt for us to move over one.”
I shook my head. “I’m not moving. We got here early. If they want to sit in the good row with a group that big, they should get here early enough to be able to get enough seats together. It’s not my job to accommodate their lack of planning.”
Eventually the mutterers dispersed (there were plenty of seats–I think the extras actually ended up sitting directly behind the rest of their group, so they were relatively together) and the movie continued without incident.
But here’s my question: what do you guys think? Am I obligated to move the seat I got there early to choose in order to accomodate a crowd of latecomers who want to sit together? Note again that there were plenty of seats–this isn’t the case where the place is packed and the ushers ask everybody to shift toward the middle and fill in empty spots. I always do that when asked.
I probably would not have moved. If you want the best seats, you get there early. Forcing other people to move so you can have the seats you want is an unreasonable expectation to have.
I agree that the situation would be different had the theater been full. But under normal circumstances, if you can’t get to there before the rest of the crowd, you accept the seats that are available to you.
I wouldn’t have moved, just based on the muttering. If you want me to move over a seat, ask, and ye shall receive. But I’m done with enabling passive aggression.
I’m not really sure what the muttering was about–I think it was the group asking the people further along the aisle to move. I just pointedly didn’t look in that direction, figuring it I didn’t make eye contact with anybody, it would be harder for them to even ask.
Takes big brass ones to even THINK about asking people to move in a theater that has plenty of open seats. If they didn’t get there early enough to get your favorite seat, tough noogies.
There were no other place in the theater for them to be together (unlikely as the front row usually is empty).
They can always chose to sit in the seats that are unoccupied, they just will be apart.
On a side note, just went to a movie theater where we purchased assigned seating here in Minnesota. The plus is that the above situation wouldn’t have happened. The negative would be that you can easily get stuck to talkers and not have a choice to move.
Yep, and my belief is that if it isn’t important enough to them to send a spokesperson around the front of the rail so you could see them, and then politely and clearly say, “Excuse me, but would you mind moving down a seat so we can all sit together?” then it’s not nearly important enough for me to do their thinking, remember their manners and use their words for them.
And yes, I know exactly the layout you’re speaking of, and those are my favorite seats, too!
I don’t understand what the resistance is. Shifting over one or two spots in the same row doesn’t mean you’re in worse seats. Avoiding eye contact, making it “harder for them to ask”? What for? Why not make such a tiny gesture, if it would make somebody’s evening more comfortable?
Of course, I live in a place where people will apologize if they fail to notice you approaching the door behind them and don’t hold it…
It’s the principle of the thing. If they had arrived 15 minutes earlier, I probably would have been fine with moving if they’d asked politely. But you don’t show up to a movie 5 minutes before it’s due to start (as I mentioned, the lights were already out and they were showing the previews) and expect that your large group is going to be accommodated by inconveniencing the people who actually made the effort to get there on time.
BTW, there were no children in this group–they were all adults. I’m not sure it would have mattered to me (especially since they were able to all sit together albeit in two rows instead of one). I’m sorry, but to trot out an old cliche: lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
If there were plenty of seats open, there’s no reason to move. None at all. Even if I had been asked to move I probably would have said something like, “You know, these are our favorite seats and the row behind us is completely empty.”
As a side note, when I go to the movies with a large group of friends, we actually *prefer *to cluster in multiple rows. It feels more “together” than if there are eight of us spread across a single row, because the people at the ends aren’t really sitting next to each other anyway. Better to split the group into fours and take up two rows.
While the OP mentioned that they were in their preferred seats, I don’t even think it’s even about moving to a slightly “worse” seat. What’s so damned important about sitting in the same row as your big group for the movie? It’s not like you’re going to be chatting it up. Is it really worth disrupting the whole row? Why not sit in the row directly behind where you’ll still be close to your group, as others have mentioned. If the theater is packed, sure, I’ll slide over a seat, but coming into a theater with plenty of open seats and asking others to move around for you is nothing but rude.
The only time I’ve ever moved in a theater was when I had a large group, the theater was crowded (less than 5 seats left out of maybe 150), and a teenage couple was standing at the bottom of the stairs searching for 2 seats that were together. I moved to the other end of the row so that the two seats that were on ends of the rows for my group were consolidated.
Moving for a group, especially one that showed up fairly late, without them asking is not going to happen.
I wouldn’t have moved, because I don’t see the big deal for the latecomers. Why is it so damned important for them to sit in that particular row – when there are many other rows available – that they have to dislodge others? Big deal or small deal, I figure I who got there first have claim to a bigger deal than theirs.
I might move if asked, but I’d still be annoyed. They got there late; they shouldn’t expect to get their preferred seat over someone who showed up early enough to claim good seats.
In a crowded theater I’d be more accommodating, at least to couples or small groups.
Because then they’d have had to sit right next to strangers with no buffer seat and nowhere to put their purses. Which is something you do if the theater is full, not just if somebody wants a particular row.
Now if the theater had filled up it’s perfectly appropriate to ask people to “scrunch up” and fill in the buffer seats.
Really? What benefit are they gaining from this favor? I think sometimes people expect or ask this kind of stuff without really thinking about how little the result of their request actually matters. In this situation the person asking everyone to move down receives virtually no benefit from the request being honored, yet slightly inconveniences everyone else in the row. Asking for directions is a favor. Asking someone to accomodate your inane wish, is not.
